第22章

Thatwasamistakeoflargedimensions。TheOldMasterswerestillunpleasingtome，buttheyweretrulydivinecontrastedwiththecopies。Thecopyistotheoriginalasthepallid，smart，inanenewwax-workgroupistothevigorous，earnest，dignifiedgroupoflivingmenandwomenwhomitprofessestoduplicate。Thereisamellowrichness，asubduedcolor，intheoldpictures，whichistotheeyewhatmuffledandmellowedsoundistotheear。Thatisthemeritwhichismostloudlypraisedintheoldpicture，andistheonewhichthecopymostconspicuouslylacks，andwhichthecopyistmustnothopetocompass。ItwasgenerallyconcededbytheartistswithwhomItalked，thatthatsubduedsplendor，thatmellowrichness，isimpartedtothepicturebyAGE。 ThenwhyshouldweworshiptheOldMasterforit，whodidn\'timpartit，insteadofworshipingOldTime，whodid?Perhapsthepicturewasaclangingbell，untilTimemuffleditandsweetenedit。 InconversationwithanartistinVenice，Iasked:\"WhatisitthatpeopleseeintheOldMasters?IhavebeenintheDoge\'spalaceandIsawseveralacresofverybaddrawing，verybadperspective，andveryincorrectproportions。 PaulVeronese\'sdogstonotresembledogs；allthehorseslooklikebladdersonlegs；onemanhadaRIGHTlegontheleftsideofhisbody；inthelargepicturewheretheEmperor(Barbarossa?)isprostratebeforethePope，therearethreemenintheforegroundwhoareoverthirtyfeethigh，ifonemayjudgebythesizeofakneelinglittleboyinthecenteroftheforeground； andaccordingtothesamescale，thePopeissevenfeethighandtheDogeisashriveleddwarfoffourfeet。\" Theartistsaid: \"Yes，theOldMastersoftendrewbadly；theydidnotcaremuchfortruthandexactnessinminordetails； butafterall，inspiteofbaddrawing，badperspective，badproportions，andachoiceofsubjectswhichnolongerappealtopeopleasstronglyastheydidthreehundredyearsago，thereisaSOMETHINGabouttheirpictureswhichisdivine——asomethingwhichisaboveandbeyondtheartofanyepochsince——asomethingwhichwouldbethedespairofartistsbutthattheyneverhopeorexpecttoattainit，andthereforedonotworryaboutit。\" Thatiswhathesaid——andhesaidwhathebelieved； andnotonlybelieved，butfelt。 Reasoning——especiallyreasoning，withouttechnicalknowledge——mustbeputaside，incasesofthiskind。 Itcannotassisttheinquirer。Itwillleadhim，inthemostlogicalprogression，towhat，intheeyesofartists，wouldbeamostillogicalconclusion。 Thus:baddrawing，badproportion，badperspective，indifferencetotruthfuldetail，colorwhichgetsitsmeritfromtime，andnotfromtheartist——thesethingsconstitutetheOldMaster；conclusion，theOldMasterwasabadpainter，theOldMasterwasnotanOldMasteratall，butanOldApprentice。Yourfriendtheartistwillgrantyourpremises，butdenyyourconclusion； hewillmaintainthatnotwithstandingthisformidablelistofconfesseddefects，thereisstillasomethingthatisdivineandunapproachableabouttheOldMaster，andthatthereisnoarguingthefactawaybyanysystemofreasoningwhatsoever。 Icanbelievethat。Therearewomenwhohaveanindefinablecharmintheirfaceswhichmakesthembeautifultotheirintimates，butacoldstrangerwhotriedtoreasonthematteroutandfindthisbeautywouldfail。Hewouldsaytooneofthesewomen:Thischinistooshort，thisnoseistoolong，thisforeheadistoohigh，thishairistoored，thiscomplexionistoopallid，theperspectiveoftheentirecompositionisincorrect；conclusion，thewomanisnotbeautiful。 Buthernearestfriendmightsay，andsaytruly，\"Yourpremisesareright，yourlogicisfaultless，butyourconclusioniswrong，nevertheless；sheisanOldMaster——sheisbeautiful，butonlytosuchasknowher； itisabeautywhichcannotbeformulated，butitisthere，justthesame。\" IfoundmorepleasureincontemplatingtheOldMastersthistimethanIdidwhenIwasinEuropeinformeryears，butstillitwasacalmpleasure；therewasnothingoverheatedaboutit。WhenIwasinVenicebefore，IthinkIfoundnopicturewhichstirredmemuch，butthistimethereweretwowhichenticedmetotheDoge\'spalacedayafterday，andkeptmetherehoursatatime。 OneofthesewasTintoretto\'sthree-acrepictureintheGreatCouncilChamber。WhenIsawittwelveyearsagoI wasnotstronglyattractedtoit——theguidetoldmeitwasaninsurrectioninheaven——butthiswasanerror。 Themovementofthisgreatworkisveryfine。Therearetenthousandfigures，andtheyarealldoingsomething。 Thereisawonderful\"go\"tothewholecomposition。 Someofthefiguresaredrivingheadlongdownward，withclaspedhands，othersareswimmingthroughthecloud-shoals——someontheirfaces，someontheirbacks——greatprocessionsofbishops，martyrs，andangelsarepouringswiftlycenterwardfromvariousoutlyingdirections——everywhereisenthusiasticjoy，thereisrushingmovementeverywhere。 Therearefifteenortwentyfiguresscatteredhereandthere，withbooks，buttheycannotkeeptheirattentionontheirreading——theyofferthebookstoothers，butnoonewishestoread，now。TheLionofSt。Markistherewithhisbook；St。Markistherewithhispenuplifted； heandtheLionarelookingeachotherearnestlyintheface，disputingaboutthewaytospellaword——theLionlooksupinraptadmirationwhileSt。Markspells。 Thisiswonderfullyinterpretedbytheartist。 Itisthemaster-strokeofthisimcomparablepainting。 [Figure10] Ivisitedtheplacedaily，andnevergrewtiredoflookingatthatgrandpicture。AsIhaveintimated，themovementisalmostunimaginablevigorous；thefiguresaresinging，hosannahing，andmanyareblowingtrumpets。 Sovividlyisnoisesuggested，thatspectatorswhobecomeabsorbedinthepicturealmostalwaysfalltoshoutingcommentsineachother\'sears，makingear-trumpetsoftheircurvedhands，fearingtheymaynototherwisebeheard。 Oneoftenseesatourist，withtheeloquenttearspouringdownhischeeks，funnelhishandsathiswife\'sear，andhearshimroarthroughthem，\"OH，TOBETHEREAND ATREST!\" Nonebutthesupremelygreatinartcanproduceeffectslikethesewiththesilentbrush。 TwelveyearsagoIcouldnothaveappreciatedthispicture。 OneyearagoIcouldnothaveappreciatedit。MystudyofArtinHeidelberghasbeenanobleeducationtome。 AllthatIamtodayinArt，Iowetothat。 TheothergreatworkwhichfascinatedmewasBassano\'simmortalHairTrunk。ThisisintheChamberoftheCouncilofTen。Itisinoneofthethreeforty-footpictureswhichdecoratethewallsoftheroom。Thecompositionofthispictureisbeyondpraise。TheHairTrunkisnothurledatthestranger\'shead——sotospeak——asthechieffeatureofanimmortalworksooftenis；no，itiscarefullyguardedfromprominence，itissubordinated，itisrestrained，itismostdeftlyandcleverlyheldinreserve，itismostcautiouslyandingeniouslyledupto，bythemaster，andconsequentlywhenthespectatorreachesitatlast，heistakenunawares，heisunprepared，anditburstsuponhimwithastupefyingsurprise。 Oneislostinwonderatallthethoughtandcarewhichthiselaborateplanningmusthavecost。Ageneralglanceatthepicturecouldneversuggestthattherewasahairtrunkinit；theHairTrunkisnotmentionedinthetitleeven——whichis，\"PopeAlexanderIII。andtheDogeZiani，theConqueroroftheEmperorFrederickBarbarossa\"； yousee，thetitleisactuallyutilizedtohelpdivertattentionfromtheTrunk；thus，asIsay，nothingsuggeststhepresenceoftheTrunk，byanyhint，yeteverythingstudiedlyleadsuptoit，stepbystep。 Letusexamineintothis，andobservetheexquisitelyartfulartlessnessoftheplan。 Attheextremeleftendofthepictureareacoupleofwomen，oneofthemwithachildlookingoverhershoulderatawoundedmansittingwithbandagedheadontheground。 Thesepeopleseemneedless，butno，theyarethereforapurpose；onecannotlookatthemwithoutseeingthegorgeousprocessionofgrandees，bishops，halberdiers，andbanner-bearerswhichispassingalongbehindthem； onecannotseetheprocessionwithoutfeelingthecuriositytofollowitandlearnwhitheritisgoing；itleadshimtothePope，inthecenterofthepicture，whoistalkingwiththebonnetlessDoge——talkingtranquilly，too，althoughwithintwelvefeetofthemamanisbeatingadrum，andnotfarfromthedrummertwopersonsareblowinghorns，andmanyhorsemenareplungingandriotingabout——indeed，twenty-twofeetofthisgreatworkisalladeepandhappyholidayserenityandSunday-schoolprocession，andthenwecomesuddenlyuponelevenandone-halffeetofturmoilandracketandinsubordination。Thislatterstateofthingsisnotanaccident，ithasitspurpose。 Butforit，onewouldlingeruponthePopeandtheDoge，thinkingthemtobethemotiveandsupremefeatureofthepicture；whereasoneisdrawnalong，almostunconsciously，toseewhatthetroubleisabout。NowattheveryEND ofthisriot，withinfourfeetoftheendofthepicture，andfullthirty-sixfeetfromthebeginningofit，theHairTrunkburstswithanelectrifyingsuddennessuponthespectator，inallitsmatchlessperfection，andthegreatmaster\'striumphissweepingandcomplete。 Fromthatmomentnootherthinginthosefortyfeetofcanvashasanycharm；oneseestheHairTrunk，andtheHairTrunkonly——andtoseeitistoworshipit。BassanoevenplacedobjectsintheimmediatevicinityoftheSupremeFeaturewhosepretendedpurposewastodivertattentionfromityetalittlelongerandthusdelayandaugmentthesurprise； forinstance，totherightofithehasplacedastoopingmanwithacapsoredthatitissuretoholdtheeyeforamoment——totheleftofit，somesixfeetaway，hehasplacedared-coatedmanonaninflatedhorse，andthatcoatplucksyoureyetothatlocalitythenextmoment——then，betweentheTrunkandtheredhorsemanhehasintrudedaman，nakedtohiswaist，whoiscarryingafancyflour-sackonthemiddleofhisbackinsteadofonhisshoulder——thisadmirablefeatinterestsyou，ofcourse——keepsyouatbayalittlelonger，likeasockorajacketthrowntothepursuingwolf——butatlast，inspiteofalldistractionsanddetentions，theeyeofeventhemostdullandheedlessspectatorissuretofallupontheWorld\'sMasterpiece，andinthatmomenthetotterstohischairorleansuponhisguideforsupport。 Descriptionsofsuchaworkasthismustnecessarilybeimperfect，yettheyareofvalue。ThetopoftheTrunkisarched；thearchisaperfecthalf-circle，intheRomanstyleofarchitecture，forinthethenrapiddecadenceofGreekart，therisinginfluenceofRomewasalreadybeginningtobefeltintheartoftheRepublic。 TheTrunkisboundorborderedwithleatherallaroundwherethelidjoinsthemainbody。Manycriticsconsiderthisleathertoocoldintone；butIconsiderthisitshighestmerit，sinceitwasevidentlymadesotoemphasizebycontrasttheimpassionedfervorofthehasp。 Thehighlightsinthispartoftheworkarecleverlymanaged，theMOTIFisadmirablysubordinatedtothegroundtints，andthetechniqueisveryfine。Thebrassnail-headsareinthepureststyleoftheearlyRenaissance。 Thestrokes，here，areveryfirmandbold——everynail-headisaportrait。ThehandleontheendoftheTrunkhasevidentlybeenretouched——Ithink，withapieceofchalk—— butonecanstillseetheinspirationoftheOldMasterinthetranquil，almosttootranquil，hangofit。ThehairofthisTrunkisREALhair——sotospeak——whiteinpatched，browninpatches。Thedetailsarefinelyworkedout； thereposepropertohairinarecumbentandinactiveattitudeischarminglyexpressed。Thereisafeelingaboutthispartoftheworkwhichliftsittothehighestaltitudesofart；thesenseofsordidrealismvanishesaway——onerecognizesthatthereisSOULhere。 ViewthisTrunkasyouwill，itisagem，itisamarvel，itisamiracle。Someoftheeffectsareverydaring，approachingeventotheboldestflightsoftherococo，thesirocco，andtheByzantineschools——yetthemaster\'shandneverfalters——itmoveson，calm，majestic，confident——and，withthatartwhichconcealsart，itfinallycastsovertheTOUTENSEMBLE，bymysteriousmethodsofitsown，asubtlesomethingwhichrefines，subdues，etherealizesthearidcomponentsandenduresthemwiththedeepcharmandgraciouswitcheryofpoesy。 Amongtheart-treasuresofEuropetherearepictureswhichapproachtheHairTrunk——therearetwowhichmaybesaidtoequalit，possibly——butthereisnonethatsurpassesit。SoperfectistheHairTrunkthatitmovesevenpersonswhoordinarilyhavenofeelingforart。 WhenanEriebaggagemastersawittwoyearsago，hecouldhardlykeepfromcheckingit；andoncewhenacustomsinspectorwasbroughtintoitspresence，hegazeduponitinsilentraptureforsomemoments，thenslowlyandunconsciouslyplacedonehandbehindhimwiththepalmuppermost，andgotouthischalkwiththeother。 Thesefactsspeakforthemselves。 CHAPTERXLIX [HangedwithaGoldenRope] OnelingersabouttheCathedralagooddeal，inVenice。 Thereisastrongfascinationaboutit——partlybecauseitissoold，andpartlybecauseitissougly。 Toomanyoftheworld\'sfamousbuildingsfailofonechiefvirtue——harmony；theyaremadeupofamethodlessmixtureoftheuglyandthebeautiful；thisisbad； itisconfusing，itisunrestful。Onehasasenseofuneasiness，ofdistress，withoutknowingwhy。ButoneiscalmbeforeSt。Mark\'s，oneiscalminthecellar； foritsdetailsaremasterfullyugly，nomisplacedandimpertinentbeautiesareintrudedanywhere；andtheconsequentresultisagrandharmoniouswhole，ofsoothing，entrancing，tranquilizing，soul-satisfyingugliness。 One\'sadmirationofaperfectthingalwaysgrows，neverdeclines；andthisisthesurestevidencetohimthatitISperfect。St。Mark\'sisperfect。Tomeitsoongrewtobesonobly，soaugustlyugly，thatitwasdifficulttostayawayfromit，evenforalittlewhile。 Everytimeitssquatdomesdisappearedfrommyview，Ihadadespondentfeeling；whenevertheyreappeared，Ifeltanhonestrapture——IhavenotknownanyhappierhoursthanthoseIdailyspentinfrontofFlorian\'s，lookingacrosstheGreatSquareatit。Proppedonitslongrowoflowthick-leggedcolumns，itsbackknobbedwithdomes，itseemedlikeavastwartybugtakingameditativewalk。 St。Mark\'sisnottheoldestbuildingintheworld，ofcourse，butitseemstheoldest，andlookstheoldest——especiallyinside。 Whentheancientmosaicsinitswallsbecomedamaged，theyarerepairedbutnotaltered；thegrotesqueoldpatternispreserved。Antiquityhasacharmofitsown，andtosmartenitupwouldonlydamageit。OnedayI wassittingonaredmarblebenchinthevestibulelookingupatanancientpieceofapprentice-work，inmosaic，illustrativeofthecommandto\"multiplyandreplenishtheearth。\"TheCathedralitselfhadseemedveryold； butthispicturewasillustratingaperiodinhistorywhichmadethebuildingseemyoungbycomparison。 ButIpresentlyfoundanantiquewhichwasolderthaneitherthebatteredCathedralorthedateassignedtothepieceofhistory；itwasaspiral-shapedfossilaslargeasthecrownofahat；itwasembeddedinthemarblebench，andhadbeensatuponbytouristsuntilitwaswornsmooth。 Contrastedwiththeinconceivableantiquityofthismodestfossil，thoseotherthingswereflippantlymodern——jejune——meremattersofday-before-yesterday。 ThesenseoftheoldnessoftheCathedralvanishedawayundertheinfluenceofthistrulyvenerablepresence。 St。Mark\'sismonumental；itisanimperishableremembranceroftheprofoundandsimplypietyoftheMiddleAges。 Whoevercouldravishacolumnfromapagantemple，diditandcontributedhisswagtothisChristianone。 Sothisfaneisupheldbyseveralhundredacquisitionsprocuredinthatpeculiarway。Inourdayitwouldbeimmoraltogoonthehighwaytogetbricksforachurch，butitwasnosinintheoldtimes。St。Mark\'swasitselfthevictimofacuriousrobberyonce。ThethingissetdowninthehistoryofVenice，butitmightbesmuggledintotheArabianNightsandnotseemoutofplacethere: Nearlyfourhundredandfiftyyearsago，aCandiannamedStammato，inthesuiteofaprinceofthehouseofEste，wasallowedtoviewtherichesofSt。Mark\'s。 Hissinfuleyewasdazzledandhehidhimselfbehindanaltar，withanevilpurposeinhisheart，butapriestdiscoveredhimandturnedhimout。Afterwardhegotinagain——byfalsekeys，thistime。Hewentthere，nightafternight，andworkedhardandpatiently，allalone，overcomingdifficultyafterdifficultywithhistoil，andatlastsucceededinremovingagreatbrickofthemarblepanelingwhichwalledthelowerpartofthetreasury； thisblockhefixedsothathecouldtakeitoutandputitinatwill。Afterthat，forweeks，hespentallhismidnightsinhismagnificentmine，inspectingitinsecurity，gloatingoveritsmarvelsathisleisure，andalwaysslippingbacktohisobscurelodgingsbeforedawn，withaduke\'sransomunderhiscloak。Hedidnotneedtograb，haphazard，andrun——therewasnohurry。 Hecouldmakedeliberateandwell-consideredselections； hecouldconsulthisesthetictastes。Onecomprehendshowundisturbedhewas，andhowsafefromanydangerofinterruption，whenitisstatedthatheevencarriedoffaunicorn\'shorn——amerecuriosity——whichwouldnotpassthroughtheegressentire，buthadtobesawnintwo—— abitofworkwhichcosthimhoursoftediouslabor。 Hecontinuedtostoreuphistreasuresathomeuntilhisoccupationlostthecharmofnoveltyandbecamemonotonous； thenheceasedfromit，contented。Wellhemightbe； forhiscollection，raisedtomodernvalues，representednearlyfiftymilliondollars! Hecouldhavegonehomemuchtherichestcitizenofhiscountry，anditmighthavebeenyearsbeforetheplunderwasmissed； buthewashuman——hecouldnotenjoyhisdelightalone，hemusthavesomebodytotalkaboutitwith。SoheexactedasolemnoathfromaCandiannoblenamedCrioni，thenledhimtohislodgingsandnearlytookhisbreathawaywithasightofhisglitteringhoard。Hedetectedalookinhisfriend\'sfacewhichexcitedhissuspicion，andwasabouttoslipastilettointohimwhenCrionisavedhimselfbyexplainingthatthatlookwasonlyanexpressionofsupremeandhappyastonishment。 StammatomadeCrioniapresentofoneofthestate\'sprincipaljewels——ahugecarbuncle，whichafterwardfiguredintheDucalcapofstate——andthepairparted。 Crioniwentatoncetothepalace，denouncedthecriminal，andhandedoverthecarbuncleasevidence。 Stammatowasarrested，tried，andcondemned，withtheold-timeVenetianpromptness。HewashangedbetweenthetwogreatcolumnsinthePiazza——withagildedrope，outofcomplimenttohisloveofgold，perhaps。Hegotnogoodofhisbootyatall——itwasALLrecovered。 InVenicewehadaluxurywhichveryseldomfelltoourlotonthecontinent——ahomedinnerwithaprivatefamily。 Ifonecouldalwaysstopwithprivatefamilies，whentraveling，Europewouldhaveacharmwhichitnowlacks。Asitis，onemustliveinthehotels，ofcourse，andthatisasorrowfulbusiness。 AmanaccustomedtoAmericanfoodandAmericandomesticcookerywouldnotstarvetodeathsuddenlyinEurope； butIthinkhewouldgraduallywasteaway，andeventuallydie。 Hewouldhavetodowithouthisaccustomedmorningmeal。 Thatistooformidableachangealtogether；hewouldnecessarilysufferfromit。Hecouldgettheshadow，thesham，thebasecounterfeitofthatmeal；butitwoulddohimnogood，andmoneycouldnotbuythereality。 Toparticularize:theaverageAmerican\'ssimplestandcommonestformofbreakfastconsistsofcoffeeandbeefsteak； well，inEurope，coffeeisanunknownbeverage。YoucangetwhattheEuropeanhotel-keeperthinksiscoffee，butitresemblestherealthingashypocrisyresemblesholiness。 Itisafeeble，characterless，uninspiringsortofstuff，andalmostasundrinkableasifithadbeenmadeinanAmericanhotel。ThemilkusedforitiswhattheFrenchcall\"Christian\"milk——milkwhichhasbeenbaptized。 Afterafewmonths\'acquaintancewithEuropean\"coffee，\" one\'smindweakens，andhisfaithwithit，andhebeginstowonderiftherichbeverageofhome，withitsclottedlayerofyellowcreamontopofit，isnotameredream，afterall，andathingwhichneverexisted。 NextcomestheEuropeanbread——fairenough，goodenough，afterafashion，butcold；coldandtough，andunsympathetic； andneveranychange，neveranyvariety——alwaysthesametiresomething。 Next，thebutter——theshamandtastelessbutter；nosaltinit，andmadeofgoodnessknowswhat。 Thenthereisthebeefsteak。TheyhaveitinEurope，buttheydon\'tknowhowtocookit。Neitherwilltheycutitright。 Itcomesonthetableinasmall，roundpewterplatter。 Itliesinthecenterofthisplatter，inaborderingbedofgrease-soakedpotatoes；itisthesize，shape，andthicknessofaman\'shandwiththethumbandfingerscutoff。Itisalittleoverdone，isratherdry，ittastesprettyinsipidly，itrousesnoenthusiasm。 Imagineapoorexilecontemplatingthatinertthing； andimagineanangelsuddenlysweepingdownoutofabetterlandandsettingbeforehimamightyporterhousesteakaninchandahalfthick，hotandsputteringfromthegriddle； dustedwithafragrantpepper；enrichedwithlittlemeltingbitsofbutterofthemostunimpeachablefreshnessandgenuineness；thepreciousjuicesofthemeattricklingoutandjoiningthegravy，archipelagoedwithmushrooms； atownshiportwooftender，yellowishfatgracinganoutlyingdistrictofthisamplecountyofbeefsteak； thelongwhitebonewhichdividesthesirloinfromthetenderloinstillinitsplace；andimaginethattheangelalsoaddsagreatcupofAmericanhome-madecoffee，withacreama-frothontop，somerealbutter，firmandyellowandfresh，somesmokinghot-biscuits，aplateofhotbuckwheatcakes，withtransparentsyrup——couldwordsdescribethegratitudeofthisexile? TheEuropeandinnerisbetterthantheEuropeanbreakfast，butithasitsfaultsandinferiorities；itdoesnotsatisfy。 Hecomestothetableeagerandhungry；heswallowshissoup——thereisanundefinablelackaboutitsomewhere； thinksthefishisgoingtobethethinghewants—— eatsitandisn\'tsure；thinksthenextdishisperhapstheonethatwillhitthehungryplace——triesit，andisconsciousthattherewasasomethingwantingaboutit，also。Andthushegoeson，fromdishtodish，likeaboyafterabutterflywhichjustmissesgettingcaughteverytimeitalights，butsomehowdoesn\'tgetcaughtafterall；andattheendtheexileandtheboyhavefaredaboutalike；theoneisfull，butgrievouslyunsatisfied，theotherhashadplentyofexercise，plentyofinterest，andafinelotofhopes，buthehasn\'tgotanybutterfly。 ThereishereandthereanAmericanwhowillsayhecanrememberrisingfromaEuropeantabled\'ho^teperfectlysatisfied； butwemustnotoverlookthefactthatthereisalsohereandthereanAmericanwhowilllie。 Thenumberofdishesissufficient；butthenitissuchamonotonousvarietyofUNSTRIKINGdishes。Itisaninanedead-levelof\"fair-to-middling。\"ThereisnothingtoACCENTit。Perhapsiftheroastofmuttonorofbeef——abig，generousone——werebroughtonthetableandcarvedinfullviewoftheclient，thatmightgivetherightsenseofearnestnessandrealitytothething；buttheydon\'tdothat，theypasstheslicedmeataroundonadish，andsoyouareperfectlycalm，itdoesnotstiryouintheleast。 Nowavastroastturkey，stretchedonthebroadofhisback，withhisheelsintheairandtherichjuicesoozingfromhisfatsides……butImayaswellstopthere，fortheywouldnotknowhowtocookhim。Theycan\'tevencookachickenrespectably；andasforcarvingit，theydothatwithahatchet。 Thisisaboutthecustomarytabled\'ho^tebillinsummer: Soup(characterless)。 Fish——sole，salmon，orwhiting——usuallytolerablygood。 Roast——muttonorbeef——tasteless——andsomelastyear\'spotatoes。 Apa^te，orsomeothermadedish——usuallygood——\"considering。\" Onevegetable——broughtoninstate，andallalone——usuallyinsipidlentils，orstring-beans，orindifferentasparagus。 Roastchicken，astastelessaspaper。 Lettuce-salad——tolerablygood。 Decayedstrawberriesorcherries。 Sometimestheapricotsandfigsarefresh，butthisisnoadvantage，asthesefruitsareofnoaccountanyway。 Thegrapesaregenerallygood，andsometimesthereisatolerablygoodpeach，bymistake。 Thevariationsoftheabovebillaretrifling。Afterafortnightonediscoversthatthevariationsareonlyapparent，notreal；inthethirdweekyougetwhatyouhadthefirst，andinthefourththeweekyougetwhatyouhadthesecond。 Threeorfourmonthsofthiswearysamenesswillkilltherobustestappetite。 Ithasnowbeenmanymonths，atthepresentwriting，sinceIhavehadanourishingmeal，butIshallsoonhaveone——amodest，privateaffair，alltomyself。 Ihaveselectedafewdishes，andmadeoutalittlebilloffare，whichwillgohomeinthesteamerthatprecedesme，andbehotwhenIarrive——asfollows: Radishes。Bakedapples，withBrook-trout，fromSierracream。Nevadas。Friedoysters；stewedoysters。 Lake-trout，fromTahoe。Frogs。SheepsheadandcroakersfromAmericancoffee，withrealcream。NewOrleans。 Americanbutter。Black-bassfromtheMississippi。 Friedchicken，Southernstyle。Americanroastbeef。 Porterhousesteak。Roastturkey，ThanksgivingSaratogapotatoes。style。Broiledchicken，Americanstyle。 Cranberrysauce。Celery。Hotbiscuits，Southernstyle。 Roastwildturkey。Woodcock。Hotwheat-bread，SouthernCanvasback-duck，fromstyle。Baltimore。Hotbuckwheatcakes。 Prairie-hens，fromIllinois。Americantoast。ClearmapleMissouripartridges，broiled。syrup。Possum。Coon。 Virginiabacon，broiled。Bostonbaconandbeans。 Bluepoints，onthehalfshell。Baconandgreens，Southernstyle。Cherry-stoneclams。Hominy。Boiledonions。 SanFranciscomussels，steamed。Turnips。Oystersoup。 Clamsoup。Pumpkin。Squash。Asparagus。PhiladelphiaTerrapinsoup。Butter-beans。Sweet-potatoes。Oystersroastedinshell——Lettuce。Succotash。Northernstyle。 String-beans。Soft-shellcrabs。ConnecticutMashedpotatoes。 Catsup。shad。Boiledpotatoes，intheirskins。 Baltimoreperch。Newpotatoes，minustheskins。 EarlyRosepotatoes，roastedinHotegg-bread，Southernstyle。 theashes，Southernstyle，Hotlight-bread，Southernstyle。 servedhot。Buttermilk。Icedsweetmilk。Slicedtomatoes，withsugarorAppledumplings，withrealvinegar。 Stewedtomatoes。cream。Greencorn，cutfromtheearandApplepie。Applefritters。servedwithbutterandpepper。 Applepuffs，Southernstyle。Greencorn，ontheear。 Peachcobbler，Southernstyle。Hotcorn-pone，withchitlings，Peachpie。Americanmincepie。Southernstyle。 Pumpkinpie。Squashpie。Hothoe-cake，Southernstyle。 AllsortsofAmericanpastry。 FreshAmericanfruitsofallsorts，includingstrawberries，whicharenottobedoledoutasiftheywerejewelry，butinamoreliberalway。 Ice-water——notpreparedintheineffectualgoblet，butinthesincereandcapablerefrigerator。 AmericansintendingtospendayearorsoinEuropeanhotels，willdowelltocopythisbillandcarryitalong。Theywillfinditanexcellentthingtogetupanappetitewith，inthedispiritingpresenceofthesqualidtabled\'ho^te。 Foreignerscannotenjoyourfood，Isuppose，anymorethanwecanenjoytheirs。Itisnotstrange；fortastesaremade，notborn。ImightglorifymybilloffareuntilIwastired； butafterall，theScotchmanwouldshakehisheadandsay，\"Where\'syourhaggis?\"andtheFijianwouldsighandsay，\"Where\'syourmissionary?\" Ihaveaneattalentinmatterspertainingtonourishment。 Thishasmetwithprofessionalrecognition。Ihaveoftenfurnishedrecipesforcook-books。Herearesomedesignsforpiesandthings，whichIrecentlypreparedforafriend\'sprojectedcook-book，butasIforgottofurnishdiagramsandperspectives，theyhadtobeleftout，ofcourse。 RECIPEFORANASH-CAKE TakealotofwaterandaddtoitalotofcoarseIndian-mealandaboutaquarterofalotofsalt。 Mixwelltogether，kneadintotheformofa\"pone，\"andlettheponestandawhile——notonitsedge，buttheotherway。 Rakeawayaplaceamongtheembers，layitthere，andcoveritaninchdeepwithhotashes。Whenitisdone，removeit；blowoffalltheashesbutonelayer； butterthatoneandeat。 N。B——Nohouseholdshouldeverbewithoutthistalisman。 Ithasbeennoticedthattrampsneverreturnforanotherash-cake—— RECIPEFORNEWENGLISHPIE Tomakethisexcellentbreakfastdish，proceedasfollows:Takeasufficiencyofwaterandasufficiencyofflour，andconstructabullet-proofdough。 Workthisintotheformofadisk，withtheedgesturnedupsomethree-fourthsofaninch。Toughenandkiln-dryinacoupledaysinamildbutunvaryingtemperature。 Constructacoverforthisredoubtinthesamewayandofthesamematerial。Fillwithsteweddriedapples； aggravatewithcloves，lemon-peel，andslabsofcitron； addtwoportionsofNewOrleanssugars，thensolderonthelidandsetinasafeplacetillitpetrifies。 Servecoldatbreakfastandinviteyourenemy—— RECIPEFORGERMANCOFFEE Takeabarrelofwaterandbringittoaboil；rubachicoryberryagainstacoffeeberry，thenconveytheformerintothewater。Continuetheboilingandevaporationuntiltheintensityoftheflavorandaromaofthecoffeeandchicoryhasbeendiminishedtoaproperdegree； thensetasidetocool。Nowunharnesstheremainsofaoncecowfromtheplow，inserttheminahydraulicpress，andwhenyoushallhaveacquiredateaspoonofthatpale-bluejuicewhichaGermansuperstitionregardsasmilk，modifythemalignityofitsstrengthinabucketoftepidwaterandringupthebreakfast。Mixthebeverageinacoldcup，partakewithmoderation，andkeepawetragaroundyourheadtoguardagainstover-excitement—— TOCARVEFOWLSINTHEGERMANFASHION Useaclub，andavoidthejoints。 CHAPTERL [TitianBadandTitianGood] Iwonderwhysomethingsare?Forinstance，Artisallowedasmuchindecentlicensetodayasinearliertimes—— buttheprivilegesofLiteratureinthisrespecthavebeensharplycurtailedwithinthepasteightyorninetyyears。 FieldingandSmollettcouldportraythebeastlinessoftheirdayinthebeastliestlanguage；wehaveplentyoffoulsubjectstodealwithinourday，butwearenotallowedtoapproachthemverynear，evenwithniceandguardedformsofspeech。ButnotsowithArt。 Thebrushmaystilldealfreelywithanysubject，howeverrevoltingorindelicate。Itmakesabodyoozesarcasmateverypore，togoaboutRomeandFlorenceandseewhatthislastgenerationhasbeendoingwiththestatues。 Theseworks，whichhadstoodininnocentnakednessforages，areallfig-leavednow。Yes，everyoneofthem。 Nobodynoticedtheirnakednessbefore，perhaps；nobodycanhelpnoticingitnow，thefig-leafmakesitsoconspicuous。 Butthecomicalthingaboutitall，is，thatthefig-leafisconfinedtocoldandpallidmarble，whichwouldbestillcoldandunsuggestivewithoutthisshamandostentatioussymbolofmodesty，whereaswarm-bloodpaintingswhichdoreallyneedithaveinnocasebeenfurnishedwithit。 AtthedooroftheUffizzi，inFlorence，oneisconfrontedbystatuesofamanandawoman，noseless，battered，blackwithaccumulatedgrime——theyhardlysuggesthumanbeings—— yettheseridiculouscreatureshavebeenthoughtfullyandconscientiouslyfig-leavedbythisfastidiousgeneration。 Youenter，andproceedtothatmost-visitedlittlegallerythatexistsintheworld——theTribune——andthere，againstthewall，withoutobstructingragorleaf，youmaylookyourfilluponthefoulest，thevilest，theobscenestpicturetheworldpossesses——Titian\'sVenus。 Itisn\'tthatsheisnakedandstretchedoutonabed——no，itistheattitudeofoneofherarmsandhand。IfI venturedtodescribethatattitude，therewouldbeafinehowl——buttheretheVenuslies，foranybodytogloatoverthatwantsto——andthereshehasarighttolie，forsheisaworkofart，andArthasitsprivileges。 Isawyounggirlsstealingfurtiveglancesather；Isawyoungmengazelongandabsorbedlyather；Isawaged，infirmmenhanguponhercharmswithapatheticinterest。 HowIshouldliketodescribeher——justtoseewhataholyindignationIcouldstirupintheworld——justtoheartheunreflectingaveragemandeliverhimselfaboutmygrossnessandcoarseness，andallthat。Theworldsaysthatnowordeddescriptionofamovingspectacleisahundredthpartasmovingasthesamespectacleseenwithone\'sowneyes——yettheworldiswillingtoletitssonanditsdaughteranditselflookatTitian\'sbeast，butwon\'tstandadescriptionofitinwords。 Whichshowsthattheworldisnotasconsistentasitmightbe。 Therearepicturesofnudewomenwhichsuggestnoimpurethought——Iamwellawareofthat。Iamnotrailingatsuch。WhatIamtryingtoemphasizeisthefactthatTitian\'sVenusisveryfarfrombeingoneofthatsort。 Withoutanyquestionitwaspaintedforabagnioanditwasprobablyrefusedbecauseitwasatrifletoostrong。 Intruth，itistoostrongforanyplacebutapublicArtGallery。TitianhastwoVenusesintheTribune； personswhohaveseenthemwilleasilyrememberwhichoneIamreferringto。 IneverygalleryinEuropetherearehideouspicturesofblood，carnage，oozingbrains，putrefaction——picturesportrayingintolerablesuffering——picturesalivewitheveryconceivablehorror，wroughtoutindreadfuldetail——andsimilarpicturesarebeingputonthecanvaseverydayandpubliclyexhibited——withoutagrowlfromanybody——fortheyareinnocent，theyareinoffensive，beingworksofart。Butsupposealiteraryartistventuredtogointoapainstakingandelaboratedescriptionofoneofthesegrislythings——thecriticswouldskinhimalive。Well，letitgo，itcannotbehelped； Artretainsherprivileges，Literaturehaslosthers。 Somebodyelsemaycipheroutthewhysandthewhereforesandtheconsistenciesofit——Ihaven\'tgottime。 Titian\'sVenusdefilesanddisgracestheTribune，thereisnosofteningthatfact，buthis\"Moses\"glorifiesit。 Thesimpletruthfulnessofitsnobleworkwinstheheartandtheapplauseofeveryvisitor，behelearnedorignorant。 Afterwearyingone\'sselfwiththeacresofstuffy，sappy，expressionlessbabiesthatpopulatethecanvasesoftheOldMastersofItaly，itisrefreshingtostandbeforethispeerlesschildandfeelthatthrillwhichtellsyouyouareatlastinthepresenceoftherealthing。 Thisisahumanchild，thisisgenuine。Youhaveseenhimathousandtimes——youhaveseenhimjustasheishere—— andyouconfess，withoutreserve，thatTitianWASaMaster。 Thedoll-facesofotherpaintedbabesmaymeanonething，theymaymeananother，butwiththe\"Moses\"thecaseisdifferent。Themostfamousofalltheart-criticshassaid，\"Thereisnoroomfordoubt，here——plainlythischildisintrouble。\" Iconsiderthatthe\"Moses\"hasnoequalamongtheworksoftheOldMasters，exceptitbethedivineHairTrunkofBassano。IfeelsurethatifalltheotherOldMasterswerelostandonlythesetwopreserved，theworldwouldbethegainerbyit。 MysolepurposeingoingtoFlorencewastoseethisimmortal\"Moses，\"andbygoodfortuneIwasjustintime，fortheywerealreadypreparingtoremoveittoamoreprivateandbetter-protectedplacebecauseafashionofrobbingthegreatgallerieswasprevailinginEuropeatthetime。 Igotacapableartisttocopythepicture；Pannemaker，theengraverofDor\'e\'sbooks，engraveditforme，andIhavethepleasureoflayingitbeforethereaderinthisvolume。 WetookaturntoRomeandsomeotherItaliancities—— thentoMunich，andthencetoParis——partlyforexercise，butmainlybecausethesethingswereinourprojectedprogram，anditwasonlyrightthatweshouldbefaithfultoit。 FromParisIbranchedoutandwalkedthroughHollandandBelgium，procuringanoccasionalliftbyrailorcanalwhentired，andIhadatolerablygoodtimeofit\"byandlarge。\" IworkedSpainandotherregionsthroughagentstosavetimeandshoe-leather。 WecrossedtoEngland，andthenmadethehomewardpassageintheCunarderGALLIA，averyfineship。 Iwasgladtogethome——immeasurablyglad；soglad，infact，thatitdidnotseempossiblethatanythingcouldevergetmeoutofthecountryagain。IhadnotenjoyedapleasureabroadwhichseemedtometocomparewiththepleasureIfeltinseeingNewYorkharboragain。 Europehasmanyadvantageswhichwehavenot，buttheydonotcompensateforagoodmanystillmorevaluableoneswhichexistnowherebutinourowncountry。 Thenwearesuchahomelesslotwhenweareoverthere!SoareEuropeansthemselves，forthematter。 Theyliveindarkandchillyvasttombs——costlyenough，maybe，butwithoutconveniences。TobecondemnedtoliveastheaverageEuropeanfamilyliveswouldmakelifeaprettyheavyburdentotheaverageAmericanfamily。 Onthewhole，IthinkthatshortvisitstoEuropearebetterforusthanlongones。TheformerpreserveusfrombecomingEuropeanized；theykeepourprideofcountryintact，andatthesametimetheyintensifyouraffectionforourcountryandourpeople；whereaslongvisitshavetheeffectofdullingthosefeelings——atleastinthemajorityofcases。IthinkthatonewhomixesmuchwithAmericanslongresidentabroadmustarriveatthisconclusion。 APPENDIX NothinggivessuchweightanddignitytoabookasanAppendix。HERODOTUS APPENDIXA ThePortierOmarKhay\'am，thepoet-prophetofPersia，writingmorethaneighthundredyearsago，hassaid: \"Inthefourpartsoftheeartharemanythatareabletowritelearnedbooks，manythatareabletoleadarmies，andmanyalsothatareabletogovernkingdomsandempires； butfewtherebethatcankeepahotel。\" AwordabouttheEuropeanhotelPORTIER。Heisamostadmirableinvention，amostvaluableconvenience。 Healwayswearsaconspicuousuniform；hecanalwaysbefoundwhenheiswanted，forhestickscloselytohispostatthefrontdoor；heisaspoliteasaduke； hespeaksfromfourtotenlanguages；heisyoursuresthelpandrefugeintimeoftroubleorperplexity。 Heisnottheclerk，heisnotthelandlord；heranksabovetheclerk，andrepresentsthelandlord，whoisseldomseen。 Insteadofgoingtotheclerkforinformation，aswedoathome，yougototheportier。Itistheprideofouraveragehotelclerktoknownothingwhatever；itistheprideoftheportiertoknoweverything。Youasktheportieratwhathoursthetrainsleave——hetellsyouinstantly； oryouaskhimwhoisthebestphysicianintown；orwhatisthehacktariff；orhowmanychildrenthemayorhas；