III
INLINCOLNTHEBESTpartofthetheatricalseasoncamelate，whenthegoodcompaniesstoppedoffthereforone-nightstands，aftertheirlongrunsinNewYorkandChicago。ThatspringLenawentwithmetoseeJosephJeffersonin`RipVanWinkle，\'
andtoawarplaycalled`Shenandoah。\'Shewasinflexibleaboutpayingforherownseat；saidshewasinbusinessnow，andshewouldn\'thaveaschoolboyspendinghismoneyonher。
IlikedtowatchaplaywithLena；everythingwaswonderfultoher，andeverythingwastrue。Itwaslikegoingtorevivalmeetingswithsomeonewhowasalwaysbeingconverted。Shehandedherfeelingsovertotheactorswithakindoffatalisticresignation。
Accessoriesofcostumeandscenemeantmuchmoretoherthantome。
Shesatentrancedthrough`RobinHood\'andhunguponthelipsofthecontraltowhosang，`Oh，PromiseMe！\'
TowardtheendofApril，thebillboards，whichIwatchedanxiouslyinthosedays，bloomedoutonemorningwithgleamingwhitepostersonwhichtwonameswereimpressivelyprintedinblueGothicletters:
thenameofanactressofwhomIhadoftenheard，andthename`Camille。\'
IcalledattheRaleighBlockforLenaonSaturdayevening，andwewalkeddowntothetheatre。Theweatherwaswarmandsultryandputusbothinaholidayhumour。
Wearrivedearly，becauseLenalikedtowatchthepeoplecomein。
Therewasanoteontheprogramme，sayingthatthe`incidentalmusic\'
wouldbefromtheopera`Traviata，\'whichwasmadefromthesamestoryastheplay。Wehadneitherofusreadtheplay，andwedidnotknowwhatitwasabout——thoughIseemedtorememberhavinghearditwasapieceinwhichgreatactressesshone。
`TheCountofMonteCristo，\'whichIhadseenJamesO\'Neillplaythatwinter，wasbytheonlyAlexandreDumasIknew。Thisplay，Isaw，wasbyhisson，andIexpectedafamilyresemblance。
Acoupleofjack-rabbits，runinofftheprairie，couldnothavebeenmoreinnocentofwhatawaitedthemthanwereLenaandI。
Ourexcitementbeganwiththeriseofthecurtain，whenthemoodyVarville，seatedbeforethefire，interrogatedNanine。
Decidedly，therewasanewtangaboutthisdialogue。
Ihadneverheardinthetheatrelinesthatwerealive，thatpresupposedandtookforgranted，likethosewhichpassedbetweenVarvilleandMargueriteinthebriefencounterbeforeherfriendsentered。Thisintroducedthemostbrilliant，worldly，themostenchantinglygaysceneIhadeverlookedupon。
Ihadneverseenchampagnebottlesopenedonthestagebefore——
indeed，Ihadneverseenthemopenedanywhere。Thememoryofthatsuppermakesmehungrynow；thesightofitthen，whenIhadonlyastudents\'boarding-housedinnerbehindme，wasdelicatetorment。Iseemtoremembergildedchairsandtables(arrangedhurriedlybyfootmeninwhiteglovesandstockings)，linenofdazzlingwhiteness，glitteringglass，silverdishes，agreatbowloffruit，andthereddestofroses。
Theroomwasinvadedbybeautifulwomenanddashingyoungmen，laughingandtalkingtogether。Themenweredressedmoreorlessaftertheperiodinwhichtheplaywaswritten；thewomenwerenot。
Isawnoinconsistency。Theirtalkseemedtoopentoonethebrilliantworldinwhichtheylived；everysentencemadeoneolderandwiser，everypleasantryenlargedone\'shorizon。
Onecouldexperienceexcessandsatietywithouttheinconvenienceoflearningwhattodowithone\'shandsinadrawing-room！
WhenthecharactersallspokeatonceandImissedsomeofthephrasestheyflashedateachother，Iwasinmisery。
Istrainedmyearsandeyestocatcheveryexclamation。
TheactresswhoplayedMargueritewaseventhenold-fashioned，thoughhistoric。ShehadbeenamemberofDaly\'sfamousNewYorkcompany，andafterwarda`star\'underhisdirection。
Shewasawomanwhocouldnotbetaught，itissaid，thoughshehadacrudenaturalforcewhichcarriedwithpeoplewhosefeelingswereaccessibleandwhosetastewasnotsqueamish。
Shewasalreadyold，witharavagedcountenanceandaphysiquecuriouslyhardandstiff。Shemovedwithdifficulty——
Ithinkshewaslame——Iseemtoremembersomestoryaboutamaladyofthespine。HerArmandwasdisproportionatelyyoungandslight，ahandsomeyouth，perplexedintheextreme。
Butwhatdiditmatter？Ibelieveddevoutlyinherpowertofascinatehim，inherdazzlingloveliness。Ibelievedheryoung，ardent，reckless，disillusioned，undersentence，feverish，avidofpleasure。Iwantedtocrossthefootlightsandhelptheslim-waistedArmandinthefrilledshirttoconvinceherthattherewasstillloyaltyanddevotionintheworld。
Hersuddenillness，whenthegaietywasatitsheight，herpallor，thehandkerchiefshecrushedagainstherlips，thecoughshesmotheredunderthelaughterwhileGastonkeptplayingthepianolightly——itallwrungmyheart。
Butnotsomuchashercynicisminthelongdialoguewithherloverwhichfollowed。HowfarwasIfromquestioningherunbelief！
Whilethecharminglysincereyoungmanpleadedwithher——
accompaniedbytheorchestraintheold`Traviata\'duet，\'misterioso，misterios\'altero！\'——shemaintainedherbitterscepticism，andthecurtainfellonherdancingrecklesslywiththeothers，afterArmandhadbeensentawaywithhisflower。
Betweentheactswehadnotimetoforget。Theorchestrakeptsawingawayatthe`Traviata\'music，sojoyousandsad，sothinandfar-away，soclap-trapandyetsoheart-breaking。
AfterthesecondactIleftLenaintearfulcontemplationoftheceiling，andwentoutintothelobbytosmoke。
AsIwalkedaboutthereIcongratulatedmyselfthatIhadnotbroughtsomeLincolngirlwhowouldtalkduringthewaitsaboutthejuniordances，orwhetherthecadetswouldcampatPlattsmouth。
Lenawasatleastawoman，andIwasaman。
ThroughthescenebetweenMargueriteandtheelderDuval，Lenaweptunceasingly，andIsathelplesstopreventtheclosingofthatchapterofidylliclove，dreadingthereturnoftheyoungmanwhoseineffablehappinesswasonlytobethemeasureofhisfall。
Isupposenowomancouldhavebeenfurtherinperson，voice，andtemperamentfromDumas\'appealingheroinethantheveteranactresswhofirstacquaintedmewithher。
Herconceptionofthecharacterwasasheavyanduncompromisingasherdiction；sheborehardontheideaandontheconsonants。
Atalltimesshewashighlytragic，devouredbyremorse。
Lightnessofstressorbehaviourwasfarfromher。
Hervoicewasheavyanddeep:`Ar-r-r-mond！\'shewouldbegin，asifsheweresummoninghimtothebarofJudgment。
Butthelineswereenough。Shehadonlytoutterthem。
Theycreatedthecharacterinspiteofher。
TheheartlessworldwhichMargueritere-enteredwithVarvillehadneverbeensoglitteringandrecklessasonthenightwhenitgatheredinOlympe\'ssalonforthefourthact。
Therewerechandeliershungfromtheceiling，Iremember，manyservantsinlivery，gaming-tableswherethemenplayedwithpilesofgold，andastaircasedownwhichtheguestsmadetheirentrance。Afteralltheothershadgatheredroundthecard-tablesandyoungDuvalhadbeenwarnedbyPrudence，MargueritedescendedthestaircasewithVarville；
suchacloak，suchafan，suchjewels——andherface！
Oneknewataglancehowitwaswithher。WhenArmand，withtheterriblewords，`Look，allofyou，Iowethiswomannothing！\'
flungthegoldandbank-notesatthehalf-swooningMarguerite，Lenacoweredbesidemeandcoveredherfacewithherhands。
Thecurtainroseonthebedroomscene。Bythistimetherewasn\'tanerveinmethathadn\'tbeentwisted。Naninealonecouldhavemademecry。
IlovedNaninetenderly；andGaston，howoneclungtothatgoodfellow！
TheNewYear\'spresentswerenottoomuch；nothingcouldbetoomuchnow。
Iweptunrestrainedly。Eventhehandkerchiefinmybreast-pocket，wornforeleganceandnotatallforuse，waswetthroughbythetimethatmoribundwomansankforthelasttimeintothearmsofherlover。
Whenwereachedthedoorofthetheatre，thestreetswereshiningwithrain。IhadprudentlybroughtalongMrs。Harling\'susefulCommencementpresent，andItookLenahomeunderitsshelter。Afterleavingher，IwalkedslowlyoutintothecountrypartofthetownwhereIlived。
Thelilacswereallbloomingintheyards，andthesmellofthemaftertherain，ofthenewleavesandtheblossomstogether，blewintomyfacewithasortofbittersweetness。
Itrampedthroughthepuddlesandundertheshowerytrees，mourningforMargueriteGauthierasifshehaddiedonlyyesterday，sighingwiththespiritof1840，whichhadsighedsomuch，andwhichhadreachedmeonlythatnight，acrosslongyearsandseverallanguages，throughthepersonofaninfirmoldactress。
Theideaisonethatnocircumstancescanfrustrate。
Whereverandwheneverthatpieceisputon，itisApril。
IV
HOWWELLIREMEMBERthestifflittleparlourwhereIusedtowaitforLena:thehardhorsehairfurniture，boughtatsomeauctionsale，thelongmirror，thefashion-platesonthewall。
IfIsatdownevenforamoment，IwassuretofindthreadsandbitsofcolouredsilkclingingtomyclothesafterIwentaway。
Lena\'ssuccesspuzzledme。Shewassoeasygoing；hadnoneofthepushandself-assertivenessthatgetpeopleaheadinbusiness。
ShehadcometoLincoln，acountrygirl，withnointroductionsexcepttosomecousinsofMrs。Thomaswholivedthere，andshewasalreadymakingclothesforthewomenof`theyoungmarriedset。\'
Evidentlyshehadgreatnaturalaptitudeforherwork。
Sheknew，asshesaid，`whatpeoplelookedwellin。\'
Shenevertiredofporingoverfashion-books。SometimesintheeveningIwouldfindheraloneinherwork-room，drapingfoldsofsatinonawirefigure，withaquiteblissfulexpressionofcountenance。
Icouldn\'thelpthinkingthattheyearswhenLenaliterallyhadn\'tenoughclothestocoverherselfmighthavesomethingtodowithheruntiringinterestindressingthehumanfigure。HerclientssaidthatLena`hadstyle，\'andoverlookedherhabitualinaccuracies。
Shenever，Idiscovered，finishedanythingbythetimeshehadpromised，andshefrequentlyspentmoremoneyonmaterialsthanhercustomerhadauthorized。Once，whenIarrivedatsixo\'clock，Lenawasusheringoutafidgetymotherandherawkward，overgrowndaughter。
ThewomandetainedLenaatthedoortosayapologetically:
`You\'lltrytokeepitunderfiftyforme，won\'tyou，MissLingard？
Yousee，she\'sreallytooyoungtocometoanexpensivedressmaker，butIknewyoucoulddomorewithherthananybodyelse。\'
`Oh，thatwillbeallright，Mrs。Herron。Ithinkwe\'llmanagetogetagoodeffect，\'Lenarepliedblandly。
Ithoughthermannerwithhercustomersverygood，andwonderedwhereshehadlearnedsuchself-possession。
Sometimesaftermymorningclasseswereover，IusedtoencounterLenadowntown，inhervelvetsuitandalittleblackhat，withaveiltiedsmoothlyoverherface，lookingasfreshasthespringmorning。
Maybeshewouldbecarryinghomeabunchofjonquilsorahyacinthplant。
Whenwepassedacandystoreherfootstepswouldhesitateandlinger。
`Don\'tletmegoin，\'shewouldmurmur。`Getmebyifyoucan。\'
Shewasveryfondofsweets，andwasafraidofgrowingtooplump。
WehaddelightfulSundaybreakfaststogetheratLena\'s。Atthebackofherlongwork-roomwasabay-window，largeenoughtoholdabox-couchandareading-table。Webreakfastedinthisrecess，afterdrawingthecurtainsthatshutoutthelongroom，withcutting-tablesandwirewomenandsheet-drapedgarmentsonthewalls。
Thesunlightpouredin，makingeverythingonthetableshineandglitterandtheflameofthealcohollampdisappearaltogether。
Lena\'scurlyblackwater-spaniel，Prince，breakfastedwithus。
HesatbesideheronthecouchandbehavedverywelluntilthePolishviolin-teacheracrossthehallbegantopractise，whenPrincewouldgrowlandsnifftheairwithdisgust。
Lena\'slandlord，oldColonelRaleigh，hadgivenherthedog，andatfirstshewasnotatallpleased。Shehadspenttoomuchofherlifetakingcareofanimalstohavemuchsentimentaboutthem。
ButPrincewasaknowinglittlebeast，andshegrewfondofhim。
AfterbreakfastImadehimdohislessons；playdeaddog，shakehands，standuplikeasoldier。Weusedtoputmycadetcaponhishead——Ihadtotakemilitarydrillattheuniversity——
andgivehimayard-measuretoholdwithhisfrontleg。
Hisgravitymadeuslaughimmoderately。
Lena\'stalkalwaysamusedme。Antoniahadnevertalkedlikethepeopleabouther。EvenaftershelearnedtospeakEnglishreadily，therewasalwayssomethingimpulsiveandforeigninherspeech。ButLenahadpickedupalltheconventionalexpressionssheheardatMrs。Thomas\'sdressmakingshop。
Thoseformalphrases，theveryflowerofsmall-townproprieties，andtheflatcommonplaces，nearlyallhypocriticalintheirorigin，becameveryfunny，veryengaging，whentheywereutteredinLena\'ssoftvoice，withhercaressingintonationandarchnaivete。
NothingcouldbemoredivertingthantohearLena，whowasalmostascandidasNature，callalega`limb\'orahousea`home。\'
Weusedtolingeralongwhileoverourcoffeeinthatsunnycorner。
Lenawasneversoprettyasinthemorning；shewakenedfreshwiththeworldeveryday，andhereyeshadadeepercolourthen，liketheblueflowersthatareneversoblueaswhentheyfirstopen。
IcouldsitidleallthroughaSundaymorningandlookather。
OleBenson\'sbehaviourwasnownomysterytome。
`TherewasneveranyharminOle，\'shesaidonce。
`Peopleneedn\'thavetroubledthemselves。Hejustlikedtocomeoverandsitonthedrawsideandforgetabouthisbadluck。
Ilikedtohavehim。Anycompany\'swelcomewhenyou\'reoffwithcattleallthetime。\'
`Butwasn\'thealwaysglum？\'Iasked。`Peoplesaidhenevertalkedatall。\'
`Surehetalked，inNorwegian。He\'dbeenasailoronanEnglishboatandhadseenlotsofqueerplaces。Hehadwonderfultattoos。
Weusedtositandlookatthemforhours；therewasn\'tmuchtolookatoutthere。Hewaslikeapicturebook。
Hehadashipandastrawberrygirlononearm，andontheotheragirlstandingbeforealittlehouse，withafenceandgateandall，waitingforhersweetheart。
Fartheruphisarm，hersailorhadcomebackandwaskissingher。
“TheSailor\'sReturn，“hecalledit。\'
IadmitteditwasnowonderOlelikedtolookataprettygirlonceinawhile，withsuchafrightathome。
`Youknow，\'Lenasaidconfidentially，`hemarriedMarybecausehethoughtshewasstrong-mindedandwouldkeephimstraight。Henevercouldkeepstraightonshore。
ThelasttimehelandedinLiverpoolhe\'dbeenoutonatwoyears\'voyage。Hewaspaidoffonemorning，andbythenexthehadn\'tacentleft，andhiswatchandcompassweregone。
He\'dgotwithsomewomen，andthey\'dtakeneverything。
Heworkedhiswaytothiscountryonalittlepassengerboat。
Marywasastewardess，andshetriedtoconverthimonthewayover。
Hethoughtshewasjusttheonetokeephimsteady。
PoorOle！Heusedtobringmecandyfromtown，hiddeninhisfeed-bag。Hecouldn\'trefuseanythingtoagirl。
He\'dhavegivenawayhistattooslongago，ifhecould。
He\'soneofthepeopleI\'msorriestfor。\'
IfIhappenedtospendaneveningwithLenaandstayedlate，thePolishviolin-teacheracrossthehallusedtocomeoutandwatchmedescendthestairs，mutteringsothreateninglythatitwouldhavebeeneasytofallintoaquarrelwithhim。
Lenahadtoldhimoncethatshelikedtohearhimpractise，sohealwayslefthisdooropen，andwatchedwhocameandwent。
TherewasacoolnessbetweenthePoleandLena\'slandlordonheraccount。
OldColonelRaleighhadcometoLincolnfromKentuckyandinvestedaninheritedfortuneinrealestate，atthetimeofinflatedprices。
NowhesatdayafterdayinhisofficeintheRaleighBlock，tryingtodiscoverwherehismoneyhadgoneandhowhecouldgetsomeofitback。
Hewasawidower，andfoundverylittlecongenialcompanionshipinthiscasualWesterncity。Lena\'sgoodlooksandgentlemannersappealedtohim。
HesaidhervoiceremindedhimofSouthernvoices，andhefoundasmanyopportunitiesofhearingitaspossible。Hepaintedandpaperedherroomsforherthatspring，andputinaporcelainbathtubinplaceofthetinonethathadsatisfiedtheformertenant。Whiletheserepairswerebeingmade，theoldgentlemanoftendroppedintoconsultLena\'spreferences。
ShetoldmewithamusementhowOrdinsky，thePole，hadpresentedhimselfatherdooroneevening，andsaidthatifthelandlordwasannoyingherbyhisattentions，hewouldpromptlyputastoptoit。
`Idon\'texactlyknowwhattodoabouthim，\'shesaid，shakingherhead，`he\'ssosortofwildallthetime。
Iwouldn\'tliketohavehimsayanythingroughtothatniceoldman。
Thecolonelislong-winded，butthenIexpecthe\'slonesome。
Idon\'tthinkhecaresmuchforOrdinsky，either。HesaidoncethatifIhadanycomplaintstomakeofmyneighbours，Imustn\'thesitate。\'
OneSaturdayeveningwhenIwashavingsupperwithLena，weheardaknockatherparlourdoor，andtherestoodthePole，coatless，inadressshirtandcollar。Princedroppedonhispawsandbegantogrowllikeamastiff，whilethevisitorapologized，sayingthathecouldnotpossiblycomeinthusattired，buthebeggedLenatolendhimsomesafetypins。
`Oh，you\'llhavetocomein，Mr。Ordinsky，andletmeseewhat\'sthematter。\'
Sheclosedthedoorbehindhim。`Jim，won\'tyoumakePrincebehave？\'
IrappedPrinceonthenose，whileOrdinskyexplainedthathehadnothadhisdressclothesonforalongtime，andtonight，whenhewasgoingtoplayforaconcert，hiswaistcoathadsplitdowntheback。
Hethoughthecouldpinittogetheruntilhegotittoatailor。
Lenatookhimbytheelbowandturnedhimround。
Shelaughedwhenshesawthelonggapinthesatin。
`Youcouldneverpinthat，Mr。Ordinsky。You\'vekeptitfoldedtoolong，andthegoodsisallgonealongthecrease。
Takeitoff。Icanputanewpieceoflining-silkinthereforyouintenminutes。\'Shedisappearedintoherwork-roomwiththevest，leavingmetoconfrontthePole，whostoodagainstthedoorlikeawoodenfigure。Hefoldedhisarmsandglaredatmewithhisexcitable，slantingbrowneyes。
Hisheadwastheshapeofachocolatedrop，andwascoveredwithdry，straw-colouredhairthatfuzzedupabouthispointedcrown。
HehadneverdonemorethanmutteratmeasIpassedhim，andIwassurprisedwhenhenowaddressedme。`MissLingard，\'
hesaidhaughtily，`isayoungwomanforwhomIhavetheutmost，theutmostrespect。\'
`SohaveI，\'Isaidcoldly。
Hepaidnoheedtomyremark，butbegantodorapidfinger-exercisesonhisshirt-sleeves，ashestoodwithtightlyfoldedarms。
`Kindnessofheart，\'hewenton，staringattheceiling，`sentiment，arenotunderstoodinaplacelikethis。
Thenoblestqualitiesareridiculed。Grinningcollegeboys，ignorantandconceited，whatdotheyknowofdelicacy！\'
Icontrolledmyfeaturesandtriedtospeakseriously。
`Ifyoumeanme，Mr。Ordinsky，IhaveknownMissLingardalongtime，andIthinkIappreciateherkindness。Wecomefromthesametown，andwegrewuptogether。\'
Hisgazetravelledslowlydownfromtheceilingandrestedonme。
`AmItounderstandthatyouhavethisyoungwoman\'sinterestsatheart？
Thatyoudonotwishtocompromiseher？\'
`That\'sawordwedon\'tusemuchhere，Mr。Ordinsky。Agirlwhomakesherownlivingcanaskacollegeboytosupperwithoutbeingtalkedabout。
Wetakesomethingsforgranted。\'
`ThenIhavemisjudgedyou，andIaskyourpardon\'——hebowedgravely。
`MissLingard，\'hewenton，`isanabsolutelytrustfulheart。
Shehasnotlearnedthehardlessonsoflife。Asforyouandme，noblesseoblige\'——hewatchedmenarrowly。
Lenareturnedwiththevest。`Comeinandletuslookatyouasyougoout，Mr。Ordinsky。I\'veneverseenyouinyourdresssuit，\'
shesaidassheopenedthedoorforhim。
Afewmomentslaterhereappearedwithhisviolin-caseaheavymufflerabouthisneckandthickwoollenglovesonhisbonyhands。
Lenaspokeencouraginglytohim，andhewentoffwithsuchanimportantprofessionalairthatwefelltolaughingassoonaswehadshutthedoor。
`Poorfellow，\'Lenasaidindulgently，`hetakeseverythingsohard。\'
AfterthatOrdinskywasfriendlytome，andbehavedasifthereweresomedeepunderstandingbetweenus。Hewroteafuriousarticle，attackingthemusicaltasteofthetown，andaskedmetodohimagreatservicebytakingittotheeditorofthemorningpaper。
Iftheeditorrefusedtoprintit，IwastotellhimthathewouldbeanswerabletoOrdinsky`inperson。\'Hedeclaredthathewouldneverretractoneword，andthathewasquitepreparedtoloseallhispupils。
Inspiteofthefactthatnobodyevermentionedhisarticletohimafteritappeared——fulloftypographicalerrorswhichhethoughtintentional——
hegotacertainsatisfactionfrombelievingthatthecitizensofLincolnhadmeeklyacceptedtheepithet`coarsebarbarians。\'
`Youseehowitis，\'hesaidtome，`wherethereisnochivalry，thereisnoamour-propre。\'WhenImethimonhisroundsnow，Ithoughthecarriedhisheadmoredisdainfullythanever，andstrodeupthestepsoffrontporchesandrangdoorbellswithmoreassurance。
HetoldLenahewouldneverforgethowIhadstoodbyhimwhenhewas`underfire。\'
Allthistime，ofcourse，Iwasdrifting。Lenahadbrokenupmyseriousmood。Iwasn\'tinterestedinmyclasses。
IplayedwithLenaandPrince，IplayedwiththePole，Iwentbuggy-ridingwiththeoldcolonel，whohadtakenafancytomeandusedtotalktomeaboutLenaandthe`greatbeauties\'
hehadknowninhisyouth。WewereallthreeinlovewithLena。
BeforethefirstofJune，GastonClericwasofferedaninstructorshipatHarvardCollege，andacceptedit。
HesuggestedthatIshouldfollowhiminthefall，andcompletemycourseatHarvard。HehadfoundoutaboutLena——notfromme——
andhetalkedtomeseriously。
`Youwon\'tdoanythingherenow。Youshouldeitherquitschoolandgotowork，orchangeyourcollegeandbeginagaininearnest。
Youwon\'trecoveryourselfwhileyouareplayingaboutwiththishandsomeNorwegian。Yes，I\'veseenherwithyouatthetheatre。
She\'sverypretty，andperfectlyirresponsible，Ishouldjudge。\'
ClericwrotemygrandfatherthathewouldliketotakemeEastwithhim。
Tomyastonishment，grandfatherrepliedthatImightgoifIwished。
Iwasbothgladandsorryonthedaywhenthelettercame。
Istayedinmyroomalleveningandthoughtthingsover。
IeventriedtopersuademyselfthatIwasstandinginLena\'sway——
itissonecessarytobealittlenoble！——andthatifshehadnotmetoplaywith，shewouldprobablymarryandsecureherfuture。
ThenexteveningIwenttocallonLena。Ifoundherproppeduponthecouchinherbay-window，withherfootinabigslipper。
AnawkwardlittleRussiangirlwhomshehadtakenintoherwork-roomhaddroppedaflat-irononLena\'stoe。
OnthetablebesidehertherewasabasketofearlysummerflowerswhichthePolehadleftafterheheardoftheaccident。
HealwaysmanagedtoknowwhatwentoninLena\'sapartment。
Lenawastellingmesomeamusingpieceofgossipaboutoneofherclients，whenIinterruptedherandpickeduptheflowerbasket。
`Thisoldchapwillbeproposingtoyousomeday，Lena。\'
`Oh，hehas——often！\'shemurmured。
`What！Afteryou\'verefusedhim？\'
`Hedoesn\'tmindthat。Itseemstocheerhimtomentionthesubject。
Oldmenarelikethat，youknow。Itmakesthemfeelimportanttothinkthey\'reinlovewithsomebody。\'
`Thecolonelwouldmarryyouinaminute。Ihopeyouwon\'tmarrysomeoldfellow；notevenarichone。\'
Lenashiftedherpillowsandlookedupatmeinsurprise。
`Why，I\'mnotgoingtomarryanybody。Didn\'tyouknowthat？\'
`Nonsense，Lena。That\'swhatgirlssay，butyouknowbetter。
Everyhandsomegirllikeyoumarries，ofcourse。\'
Sheshookherhead。`Notme。\'
`Butwhynot？Whatmakesyousaythat？\'Ipersisted。
Lenalaughed。
`Well，it\'smainlybecauseIdon\'twantahusband。
Menareallrightforfriends，butassoonasyoumarrythemtheyturnintocrankyoldfathers，eventhewildones。
Theybegintotellyouwhat\'ssensibleandwhat\'sfoolish，andwantyoutostickathomeallthetime。IprefertobefoolishwhenIfeellikeit，andbeaccountabletonobody。\'
`Butyou\'llbelonesome。You\'llgettiredofthissortoflife，andyou\'llwantafamily。\'
`Notme。Iliketobelonesome。WhenIwenttoworkforMrs。ThomasIwasnineteenyearsold，andIhadneversleptanightinmylifewhenthereweren\'tthreeinthebed。
IneverhadaminutetomyselfexceptwhenIwasoffwiththecattle。\'
Usually，whenLenareferredtoherlifeinthecountryatall，shedismisseditwithasingleremark，humorousormildlycynical。
Buttonighthermindseemedtodwellonthoseearlyyears。
Shetoldmeshecouldn\'trememberatimewhenshewassolittlethatshewasn\'tluggingaheavybabyabout，helpingtowashforbabies，tryingtokeeptheirlittlechappedhandsandfacesclean。
Sherememberedhomeasaplacewheretherewerealwaystoomanychildren，acrossmanandworkpilinguparoundasickwoman。
`Itwasn\'tmother\'sfault。Shewouldhavemadeuscomfortableifshecould。
Butthatwasnolifeforagirl！AfterIbegantoherdandmilk，Icouldnevergetthesmellofthecattleoffme。ThefewunderclothesIhadI
keptinacracker-box。OnSaturdaynights，aftereverybodywasinbed，thenIcouldtakeabathifIwasn\'ttootired。Icouldmaketwotripstothewindmilltocarrywater，andheatitinthewash-boileronthestove。
Whilethewaterwasheating，Icouldbringinawashtuboutofthecave，andtakemybathinthekitchen。ThenIcouldputonacleannight-gownandgetintobedwithtwoothers，wholikelyhadn\'thadabathunlessI\'dgivenittothem。Youcan\'ttellmeanythingaboutfamilylife。
I\'vehadplentytolastme。\'
`Butit\'snotalllikethat，\'Iobjected。
`Nearenough。It\'sallbeingundersomebody\'sthumb。
What\'sonyourmind，Jim？AreyouafraidI\'llwantyoutomarrymesomeday？\'
ThenItoldherIwasgoingaway。
`Whatmakesyouwanttogoaway，Jim？Haven\'tIbeennicetoyou？\'
`You\'vebeenjustawfullygoodtome，Lena，\'Iblurted。
`Idon\'tthinkaboutmuchelse。InevershallthinkaboutmuchelsewhileI\'mwithyou。I\'llneversettledownandgrindifIstayhere。
Youknowthat。\'
Idroppeddownbesideherandsatlookingatthefloor。
Iseemedtohaveforgottenallmyreasonableexplanations。
Lenadrewclosetome，andthelittlehesitationinhervoicethathadhurtmewasnottherewhenshespokeagain。
`Ioughtn\'ttohavebegunit，oughtI？\'shemurmured。
`Ioughtn\'ttohavegonetoseeyouthatfirsttime。ButIdidwantto。IguessI\'vealwaysbeenalittlefoolishaboutyou。
Idon\'tknowwhatfirstputitintomyhead，unlessitwasAntonia，alwaystellingmeImustn\'tbeuptoanyofmynonsensewithyou。
Iletyoualoneforalongwhile，though，didn\'tI？\'
Shewasasweetcreaturetothosesheloved，thatLenaLingard！
Atlastshesentmeawaywithhersoft，slow，renunciatorykiss。
`Youaren\'tsorryIcametoseeyouthattime？\'shewhispered。
`Itseemedsonatural。IusedtothinkI\'dliketobeyourfirstsweetheart。
Youweresuchafunnykid！\'
Shealwayskissedoneasifsheweresadlyandwiselysendingoneawayforever。
Wesaidmanygood-byesbeforeIleftLincoln，butshenevertriedtohindermeorholdmeback。`Youaregoing，butyouhaven\'tgoneyet，haveyou？\'
sheusedtosay。
MyLincolnchapterclosedabruptly。Iwenthometomygrandparentsforafewweeks，andafterwardvisitedmyrelativesinVirginiauntilIjoinedClericinBoston。
Iwasthennineteenyearsold。
EndofBookIII
BOOKIVThePioneerWoman\'sStoryI
TWOYEARSAFTERIleftLincoln，IcompletedmyacademiccourseatHarvard。
BeforeIenteredtheLawSchoolIwenthomeforthesummervacation。
Onthenightofmyarrival，Mrs。HarlingandFrancesandSallycameovertogreetme。Everythingseemedjustasitusedtobe。
Mygrandparentslookedverylittleolder。FrancesHarlingwasmarriednow，andsheandherhusbandmanagedtheHarlinginterestsinBlackHawk。
Whenwegatheredingrandmother\'sparlour，IcouldhardlybelievethatI
hadbeenawayatall。Onesubject，however，weavoidedallevening。
WhenIwaswalkinghomewithFrances，afterwehadleftMrs。Harlingathergate，shesaidsimply，`Youknow，ofcourse，aboutpoorAntonia。\'
PoorAntonia！Everyonewouldbesayingthatnow，Ithoughtbitterly。
IrepliedthatgrandmotherhadwrittenmehowAntoniawentawaytomarryLarryDonovanatsomeplacewherehewasworking；
thathehaddesertedher，andthattherewasnowababy。
ThiswasallIknew。
`Henevermarriedher，\'Francessaid。`Ihaven\'tseenhersinceshecameback。Shelivesathome，onthefarm，andalmostnevercomestotown。Shebroughtthebabyintoshowittomamaonce。
I\'mafraidshe\'ssettleddowntobeAmbrosch\'sdrudgeforgood。\'
ItriedtoshutAntoniaoutofmymind。Iwasbitterlydisappointedinher。Icouldnotforgiveherforbecominganobjectofpity，whileLenaLingard，forwhompeoplehadalwaysforetoldtrouble，wasnowtheleadingdressmakerofLincoln，muchrespectedinBlackHawk。
Lenagaveherheartawaywhenshefeltlikeit，butshekeptherheadforherbusinessandhadgotonintheworld。
JustthenitwasthefashiontospeakindulgentlyofLenaandseverelyofTinySoderball，whohadquietlygoneWesttotryherfortunetheyearbefore。
ABlackHawkboy，justbackfromSeattle，broughtthenewsthatTinyhadnotgonetothecoastonaventure，asshehadallowedpeopletothink，butwithverydefiniteplans。OneoftherovingpromotersthatusedtostopatMrs。Gardener\'shotelownedidlepropertyalongthewaterfrontinSeattle，andhehadofferedtosetTinyupinbusinessinoneofhisemptybuildings。
Shewasnowconductingasailors\'lodging-house。This，everyonesaid，wouldbetheendofTiny。Evenifshehadbegunbyrunningadecentplace，shecouldn\'tkeepitup；allsailors\'boarding-houseswerealike。
WhenIthoughtaboutit，IdiscoveredthatIhadneverknownTinyaswellasI
knewtheothergirls。Irememberedhertrippingbrisklyaboutthedining-roomonherhighheels，carryingabigtrayfulofdishes，glancingratherpertlyatthesprucetravellingmen，andcontemptuouslyatthescrubbyones——
whoweresoafraidofherthattheydidn\'tdaretoaskfortwokindsofpie。
Nowitoccurredtomethatperhapsthesailors，too，mightbeafraidofTiny。
Howastonishedweshouldhavebeen，aswesattalkingaboutheronFrancesHarling\'sfrontporch，ifwecouldhaveknownwhatherfuturewasreallytobe！OfallthegirlsandboyswhogrewuptogetherinBlackHawk，TinySoderballwastoleadthemostadventurouslifeandtoachievethemostsolidworldlysuccess。
ThisiswhatactuallyhappenedtoTiny:Whileshewasrunningherlodging-houseinSeattle，goldwasdiscoveredinAlaska。
MinersandsailorscamebackfromtheNorthwithwonderfulstoriesandpouchesofgold。Tinysawitandweigheditinherhands。
Thatdaring，whichnobodyhadeversuspectedinher，awoke。
ShesoldherbusinessandsetoutforCircleCity，incompanywithacarpenterandhiswifewhomshehadpersuadedtogoalongwithher。
TheyreachedSkaguayinasnowstorm，wentindog-sledgesovertheChilkootPass，andshottheYukoninflatboats。
TheyreachedCircleCityontheverydaywhensomeSiwashIndianscameintothesettlementwiththereportthattherehadbeenarichgoldstrikefartheruptheriver，onacertainKlondikeCreek。
TwodayslaterTinyandherfriends，andnearlyeveryoneelseinCircleCity，startedfortheKlondikefieldsonthelaststeamerthatwentuptheYukonbeforeitfrozeforthewinter。
ThatboatloadofpeoplefoundedDawsonCity。Withinafewweekstherewerefifteenhundredhomelessmenincamp。
Tinyandthecarpenter\'swifebegantocookforthem，inatent。
Theminersgaveherabuildinglot，andthecarpenterputupaloghotelforher。Thereshesometimesfedahundredandfiftymenaday。
Minerscameinonsnowshoesfromtheirplacerclaimstwentymilesawaytobuyfreshbreadfromher，andpaidforitingold。
ThatwinterTinykeptinherhotelaSwedewhoselegshadbeenfrozenonenightinastormwhenhewastryingtofindhiswaybacktohiscabin。Thepoorfellowthoughtitgreatgoodfortunetobecaredforbyawoman，andawomanwhospokehisowntongue。Whenhewastoldthathisfeetmustbeamputated，hesaidhehopedhewouldnotgetwell；
whatcouldaworking-mandointhishardworldwithoutfeet？
Hedid，infact，diefromtheoperation，butnotbeforehehaddeededTinySoderballhisclaimonHunkerCreek。
Tinysoldherhotel，investedhalfhermoneyinDawsonbuildinglots，andwiththerestshedevelopedherclaim。
Shewentoffintothewildsandlivedontheclaim。
Sheboughtotherclaimsfromdiscouragedminers，tradedorsoldthemonpercentages。
AfternearlytenyearsintheKlondike，Tinyreturned，withaconsiderablefortune，toliveinSanFrancisco。ImetherinSaltLakeCityin1908。
Shewasathin，hard-facedwoman，verywell-dressed，veryreservedinmanner。
Curiouslyenough，sheremindedmeofMrs。Gardener，forwhomshehadworkedinBlackHawksolongago。Shetoldmeaboutsomeofthedesperatechancesshehadtakeninthegoldcountry，butthethrillofthemwasquitegone。
Shesaidfranklythatnothinginterestedhermuchnowbutmakingmoney。
TheonlytwohumanbeingsofwhomshespokewithanyfeelingweretheSwede，Johnson，whohadgivenherhisclaim，andLenaLingard。
ShehadpersuadedLenatocometoSanFranciscoandgointobusinessthere。
`Lincolnwasneveranyplaceforher，\'Tinyremarked。
`InatownofthatsizeLenawouldalwaysbegossipedabout。
Frisco\'stherightfieldforher。Shehasafineclassoftrade。Oh，she\'sjustthesameasshealwayswas！
She\'scareless，butshe\'slevel-headed。She\'stheonlypersonIknowwhonevergetsanyolder。It\'sfineformetohaveherthere；somebodywhoenjoysthingslikethat。
Shekeepsaneyeonmeandwon\'tletmebeshabby。
WhenshethinksIneedanewdress，shemakesitandsendsithomewithabillthat\'slongenough，Icantellyou！\'
Tinylimpedslightlywhenshewalked。TheclaimonHunkerCreektooktollfromitspossessors。Tinyhadbeencaughtinasuddenturnofweather，likepoorJohnson。ShelostthreetoesfromoneofthoseprettylittlefeetthatusedtotripaboutBlackHawkinpointedslippersandstripedstockings。
Tinymentionedthismutilationquitecasually——didn\'tseemsensitiveaboutit。Shewassatisfiedwithhersuccess，butnotelated。
Shewaslikesomeoneinwhomthefacultyofbecominginterestediswornout。
II
SOONAFTERIGOThomethatsummer，Ipersuadedmygrandparentstohavetheirphotographstaken，andonemorningIwentintothephotographer\'sshoptoarrangeforsittings。
WhileIwaswaitingforhimtocomeoutofhisdeveloping-room，Iwalkedabouttryingtorecognizethelikenessesonhiswalls:
girlsinCommencementdresses，countrybridesandgroomsholdinghands，familygroupsofthreegenerations。
Inoticed，inaheavyframe，oneofthosedepressing`crayonenlargements\'oftenseeninfarm-houseparlours，thesubjectbeingaround-eyedbabyinshortdresses。
Thephotographercameoutandgaveaconstrained，apologeticlaugh。
`That\'sTonyShimerda\'sbaby。Yourememberher；sheusedtobetheHarlings\'Tony。Toobad！Sheseemsproudofthebaby，though；wouldn\'theartoacheapframeforthepicture。
IexpectherbrotherwillbeinforitSaturday。\'
IwentawayfeelingthatImustseeAntoniaagain。
Anothergirlwouldhavekeptherbabyoutofsight，butTony，ofcourse，musthaveitspictureonexhibitionatthetownphotographer\'s，inagreatgiltframe。Howlikeher！
Icouldforgiveher，Itoldmyself，ifshehadn\'tthrownherselfawayonsuchacheapsortoffellow。
LarryDonovanwasapassengerconductor，oneofthosetrain-crewaristocratswhoarealwaysafraidthatsomeonemayaskthemtoputupacar-window，andwho，ifrequestedtoperformsuchamenialservice，silentlypointtothebuttonthatcallstheporter。
Larryworethisairofofficialaloofnessevenonthestreet，wheretherewerenocar-windowstocompromisehisdignity。
Attheendofhisrunhesteppedindifferentlyfromthetrainalongwiththepassengers，hisstreethatonhisheadandhisconductor\'scapinanalligator-skinbag，wentdirectlyintothestationandchangedhisclothes。
Itwasamatteroftheutmostimportancetohimnevertobeseeninhisbluetrousersawayfromhistrain。
Hewasusuallycoldanddistantwithmen，butwithallwomenhehadasilent，gravefamiliarity，aspecialhandshake，accompaniedbyasignificant，deliberatelook。Hetookwomen，marriedorsingle，intohisconfidence；walkedthemupanddowninthemoonlight，tellingthemwhatamistakehehadmadebynotenteringtheofficebranchoftheservice，andhowmuchbetterfittedhewastofillthepostofGeneralPassengerAgentinDenverthantherough-shodmanwhothenborethattitle。
HisunappreciatedworthwasthetendersecretLarrysharedwithhissweethearts，andhewasalwaysabletomakesomefoolishheartacheoverit。
AsIdrewnearhomethatmorning，IsawMrs。Harlingoutinheryard，diggingroundhermountain-ashtree。
Itwasadrysummer，andshehadnownoboytohelpher。
Charleywasoffinhisbattleship，cruisingsomewhereontheCaribbeansea。IturnedinatthegateitwaswithafeelingofpleasurethatIopenedandshutthatgateinthosedays；
Ilikedthefeelofitundermyhand。ItookthespadeawayfromMrs。Harling，andwhileIloosenedtheeartharoundthetree，shesatdownonthestepsandtalkedabouttheoriolefamilythathadanestinitsbranches。
`Mrs。Harling，\'Isaidpresently，`IwishIcouldfindoutexactlyhowAntonia\'smarriagefellthrough。\'
`Whydon\'tyougooutandseeyourgrandfather\'stenant，theWidowSteavens？Sheknowsmoreaboutitthananybodyelse。
ShehelpedAntoniagetreadytobemarried，andshewastherewhenAntoniacameback。Shetookcareofherwhenthebabywasborn。
Shecouldtellyoueverything。Besides，theWidowSteavensisagoodtalker，andshehasaremarkablememory。\'
III
ONTHEFIRSTORseconddayofAugustIgotahorseandcartandsetoutforthehighcountry，tovisittheWidowSteavens。
Thewheatharvestwasover，andhereandtherealongthehorizonI
couldseeblackpuffsofsmokefromthesteamthreshing-machines。
Theoldpasturelandwasnowbeingbrokenupintowheatfieldsandcornfields，theredgrasswasdisappearing，andthewholefaceofthecountrywaschanging。Therewerewoodenhouseswheretheoldsoddwellingsusedtobe，andlittleorchards，andbigredbarns；allthismeanthappychildren，contentedwomen，andmenwhosawtheirlivescomingtoafortunateissue。
Thewindyspringsandtheblazingsummers，oneafteranother，hadenrichedandmellowedthatflattableland；allthehumaneffortthathadgoneintoitwascomingbackinlong，sweepinglinesoffertility。Thechangesseemedbeautifulandharmonioustome；
itwaslikewatchingthegrowthofagreatmanorofagreatidea。
Irecognizedeverytreeandsandbankandruggeddraw。
IfoundthatIrememberedtheconformationofthelandasoneremembersthemodellingofhumanfaces。
WhenIdrewuptoouroldwindmill，theWidowSteavenscameouttomeetme。
ShewasbrownasanIndianwoman，tall，andverystrong。WhenIwaslittle，hermassiveheadhadalwaysseemedtomelikeaRomansenator\'s。ItoldheratoncewhyIhadcome。
`You\'llstaythenightwithus，Jimmy？I\'lltalktoyouaftersupper。Icantakemoreinterestwhenmyworkisoffmymind。
You\'venoprejudiceagainsthotbiscuitforsupper？
Somehave，thesedays。\'
WhileIwasputtingmyhorseaway，Iheardaroostersquawking。
Ilookedatmywatchandsighed；itwasthreeo\'clock，andIknewthatImusteathimatsix。
AftersupperMrs。SteavensandIwentupstairstotheoldsitting-room，whilehergrave，silentbrotherremainedinthebasementtoreadhisfarmpapers。Allthewindowswereopen。Thewhitesummermoonwasshiningoutside，thewindmillwaspumpinglazilyinthelightbreeze。
Myhostessputthelamponastandinthecorner，andturneditlowbecauseoftheheat。Shesatdowninherfavouriterocking-chairandsettledalittlestoolcomfortablyunderhertiredfeet。
`I\'mtroubledwithcalluses，Jim；gettingold，\'shesighedcheerfully。
Shecrossedherhandsinherlapandsatasifshewereatameetingofsomekind。
`Now，it\'saboutthatdearAntoniayouwanttoknow？Well，you\'vecometotherightperson。I\'vewatchedherlikeshe\'dbeenmyowndaughter。
`Whenshecamehometodohersewingthatsummerbeforeshewastobemarried，shewasoverhereabouteveryday。
They\'veneverhadasewing-machineattheShimerdas\'，andshemadeallherthingshere。Itaughtherhemstitching，andIhelpedhertocutandfit。Sheusedtositthereatthatmachinebythewindow，pedallingthelifeoutofit——
shewassostrong——andalwayssingingthemqueerBohemiansongs，likeshewasthehappiestthingintheworld。
`“Antonia，“Iusedtosay，“don\'trunthatmachinesofast。Youwon\'thastenthedaynonethatway。“
`Thenshe\'dlaughandslowdownforalittle，butshe\'dsoonforgetandbegintopedalandsingagain。Ineversawagirlworkhardertogotohousekeepingrightandwell-prepared。Lovelytable-linentheHarlingshadgivenher，andLenaLingardhadsenthernicethingsfromLincoln。
Wehemstitchedallthetableclothsandpillow-cases，andsomeofthesheets。
OldMrs。Shimerdaknityardsandyardsoflaceforherunderclothes。
Tonytoldmejusthowshemeanttohaveeverythinginherhouse。
She\'devenboughtsilverspoonsandforks，andkepttheminhertrunk。
Shewasalwayscoaxingbrothertogotothepost-office。Heryoungmandidwriteherrealoften，fromthedifferenttownsalonghisrun。
`Thefirstthingthattroubledherwaswhenhewrotethathisrunhadbeenchanged，andtheywouldlikelyhavetoliveinDenver。“I\'macountrygirl，“shesaid，“andI
doubtifI\'llbeabletomanagesowellforhiminacity。
Iwascountingonkeepingchickens，andmaybeacow。“
Shesooncheeredup，though。
`Atlastshegotthelettertellingherwhentocome。
Shewasshakenbyit；shebrokethesealandreaditinthisroom。
Isuspectedthenthatshe\'dbeguntogetfaint-hearted，waiting；
thoughshe\'dneverletmeseeit。
`Thentherewasagreattimeofpacking。ItwasinMarch，ifIrememberrightly，andaterriblemuddy，rawspell，withtheroadsbadforhaulingherthingstotown。
Andhereletmesay，Ambroschdidtherightthing。
HewenttoBlackHawkandboughtherasetofplatedsilverinapurplevelvetbox，goodenoughforherstation。
Hegaveherthreehundreddollarsinmoney；Isawthecheque。
He\'dcollectedherwagesallthosefirstyearssheworkedout，anditwasbutright。Ishookhimbythehandinthisroom。
“You\'rebehavinglikeaman，Ambrosch，“Isaid，“andI\'mgladtoseeit，son。“
`\'Twasacold，rawdayhedroveherandherthreetrunksintoBlackHawktotakethenighttrainforDenver——theboxeshadbeenshippedbefore。
Hestoppedthewagonhere，andsheranintotellmegood-bye。Shethrewherarmsaroundmeandkissedme，andthankedmeforallI\'ddoneforher。
Shewassohappyshewascryingandlaughingatthesametime，andherredcheekswasallwetwithrain。
`“You\'resurelyhandsomeenoughforanyman，“Isaid，lookingherover。
`Shelaughedkindofflightylike，andwhispered，“Good-bye，dearhouse！“
andthenranouttothewagon。Iexpectshemeantthatforyouandyourgrandmother，asmuchasforme，soI\'mparticulartotellyou。
Thishousehadalwaysbeenarefugetoher。
`Well，inafewdayswehadalettersayingshegottoDenversafe，andhewastheretomeether。Theyweretobemarriedinafewdays。
Hewastryingtogethispromotionbeforehemarried，shesaid。
Ididn\'tlikethat，butIsaidnothing。ThenextweekYulkagotapostalcard，sayingshewas“wellandhappy。“Afterthatweheardnothing。
Amonthwentby，andoldMrs。Shimerdabegantogetfretful。
AmbroschwasassulkywithmeasifI\'dpickedoutthemanandarrangedthematch。
`OnenightbrotherWilliamcameinandsaidthatonhiswaybackfromthefieldshehadpassedaliveryteamfromtown，drivingfastoutthewestroad。
Therewasatrunkonthefrontseatwiththedriver，andanotherbehind。
Inthebackseattherewasawomanallbundledup；butforallherveils，hethought`twasAntoniaShimerda，orAntoniaDonovan，ashernameoughtnowtobe。
`ThenextmorningIgotbrothertodrivemeover。Icanwalkstill，butmyfeetain\'twhattheyusedtobe，andItrytosavemyself。
ThelinesoutsidetheShimerdas\'housewasfullofwashing，thoughitwasthemiddleoftheweek。Aswegotnearer，Isawasightthatmademyheartsink——allthoseunderclotheswe\'dputsomuchworkon，outthereswinginginthewind。
Yulkacamebringingadishpanfulofwrungclothes，butshedartedbackintothehouselikeshewasloathtoseeus。WhenIwentin，Antoniawasstandingoverthetubs，justfinishingupabigwashing。
Mrs。Shimerdawasgoingaboutherwork，talkingandscoldingtoherself。
Shedidn\'tsomuchasraisehereyes。Tonywipedherhandonherapronandhelditouttome，lookingatmesteadybutmournful。
WhenItookherinmyarmsshedrewaway。“Don\'t，Mrs。Steavens，“
shesays，“you\'llmakemecry，andIdon\'twantto。“
`Iwhisperedandaskedhertocomeout-of-doorswithme。
Iknewshecouldn\'ttalkfreebeforehermother。Shewentoutwithme，bareheaded，andwewalkeduptowardthegarden。
`“I\'mnotmarried，Mrs。Steavens，“shesaystomeveryquietandnatural-like，“andIoughttobe。“
`“Oh，mychild，“saysI，“what\'shappenedtoyou？
Don\'tbeafraidtotellme！“
`Shesatdownonthedrawside，outofsightofthehouse。
“He\'srunawayfromme，“shesaid。“Idon\'tknowifheevermeanttomarryme。“
`“Youmeanhe\'sthrownuphisjobandquitthecountry？“saysI。
`“Hedidn\'thaveanyjob。He\'dbeenfired；blacklistedforknockingdownfares。Ididn\'tknow。Ithoughthehadn\'tbeentreatedright。
HewassickwhenIgotthere。He\'djustcomeoutofthehospital。
Helivedwithmetillmymoneygaveout，andafterwardIfoundhehadn\'treallybeenhuntingworkatall。Thenhejustdidn\'tcomeback。
Onenicefellowatthestationtoldme，whenIkeptgoingtolookforhim，togiveitup。HesaidhewasafraidLarry\'dgonebadandwouldn\'tcomebackanymore。Iguesshe\'sgonetoOldMexico。Theconductorsgetrichdownthere，collectinghalf-faresoffthenativesandrobbingthecompany。
Hewasalwaystalkingaboutfellowswhohadgotaheadthatway。“
`Iaskedher，ofcourse，whyshedidn\'tinsistonacivilmarriageatonce——
thatwouldhavegivenhersomeholdonhim。Sheleanedherheadonherhands，poorchild，andsaid，“Ijustdon\'tknow，Mrs。Steavens。
Iguessmypatiencewasworeout，waitingsolong。IthoughtifhesawhowwellIcoulddoforhim，he\'dwanttostaywithme。“
`Jimmy，Isatrightdownonthatbankbesideherandmadelament。
Icriedlikeayoungthing。Icouldn\'thelpit。
Iwasjustaboutheart-broke。ItwasoneofthemlovelywarmMaydays，andthewindwasblowingandthecoltsjumpingaroundinthepastures；butIfeltbowedwithdespair。
MyAntonia，thathadsomuchgoodinher，hadcomehomedisgraced。
AndthatLenaLingard，thatwasalwaysabadone，saywhatyouwill，hadturnedoutsowell，andwascominghomehereeverysummerinhersilksandhersatins，anddoingsomuchforhermother。
Igivecreditwherecreditisdue，butyouknowwellenough，JimBurden，thereisagreatdifferenceintheprinciplesofthosetwogirls。Andhereitwasthegoodonethathadcometogrief！
Iwaspoorcomforttoher。Imarvelledathercalm。
Aswewentbacktothehouse，shestoppedtofeelofherclothestoseeiftheywasdryingwell，andseemedtotakeprideintheirwhiteness——shesaidshe\'dbeenlivinginabrickblock，whereshedidn\'thaveproperconveniencestowashthem。
`ThenexttimeIsawAntonia，shewasoutinthefieldsploughingcorn。
Allthatspringandsummershedidtheworkofamanonthefarm；itseemedtobeanunderstoodthing。Ambroschdidn\'tgetanyotherhandtohelphim。
PoorMarekhadgotviolentandbeensentawaytoaninstitutionagoodwhileback。WeneverevensawanyofTony\'sprettydresses。Shedidn\'ttakethemoutofhertrunks。Shewasquietandsteady。Folksrespectedherindustryandtriedtotreatherasifnothinghadhappened。
Theytalked，tobesure；butnotliketheywouldifshe\'dputonairs。
Shewassocrushedandquietthatnobodyseemedtowanttohumbleher。
Sheneverwentanywhere。Allthatsummersheneveroncecametoseeme。
AtfirstIwashurt，butIgottofeelthatitwasbecausethishouseremindedheroftoomuch。IwentovertherewhenIcould，butthetimeswhenshewasinfromthefieldswerethetimeswhenIwasbusiesthere。
Shetalkedaboutthegrainandtheweatherasifshe\'dneverhadanotherinterest，andifIwentoveratnightshealwayslookeddeadweary。
Shewasafflictedwithtoothache；onetoothafteranotherulcerated，andshewentaboutwithherfaceswollenhalfthetime。Shewouldn\'tgotoBlackHawktoadentistforfearofmeetingpeoplesheknew。
Ambroschhadgotoverhisgoodspelllongago，andwasalwayssurly。
OnceItoldhimheoughtnottoletAntoniaworksohardandpullherselfdown。Hesaid，“Ifyouputthatinherhead，youbetterstayhome。“
AndafterthatIdid。
`Antoniaworkedonthroughharvestandthreshing，thoughshewastoomodesttogooutthreshingfortheneighbours，likewhenshewasyoungandfree。
Ididn\'tseemuchofheruntillatethatfallwhenshebeguntoherdAmbrosch\'scattleintheopengroundnorthofhere，uptowardthebigdog-town。Sometimessheusedtobringthemoverthewesthill，there，andIwouldruntomeetherandwalknorthapiecewithher。
Shehadthirtycattleinherbunch；ithadbeendry，andthepasturewasshort，orshewouldn\'thavebroughtthemsofar。
`Itwasafineopenfall，andshelikedtobealone。
Whilethesteersgrazed，sheusedtositonthemgrassybanksalongthedrawsandsunherselfforhours。
SometimesIslippeduptovisitwithher，whenshehadn\'tgonetoofar。
`“ItdoesseemlikeIoughttomakelace，orknitlikeLenausedto，“shesaidoneday，“butifIstarttowork，Ilookaroundandforgettogoon。ItseemssuchalittlewhileagowhenJimBurdenandIwasplayingalloverthiscountry。
UphereIcanpickouttheveryplaceswheremyfatherusedtostand。
SometimesIfeellikeI\'mnotgoingtoliveverylong，soI\'mjustenjoyingeverydayofthisfall。“
`Afterthewinterbegunsheworeaman\'slongovercoatandboots，andaman\'sfelthatwithawidebrim。Iusedtowatchhercomingandgoing，andIcouldseethatherstepsweregettingheavier。OnedayinDecember，thesnowbegantofall。
LateintheafternoonIsawAntoniadrivinghercattlehomewardacrossthehill。Thesnowwasflyingroundherandshebenttofaceit，lookingmorelonesome-liketomethanusual。
“Dearyme，“Isaystomyself，“thegirl\'sstayedouttoolate。
It\'llbedarkbeforeshegetsthemcattleputintothecorral。“
Iseemedtosenseshe\'dbeenfeelingtoomiserabletogetupanddrivethem。
`Thatverynight，ithappened。Shegothercattlehome，turnedthemintothecorral，andwentintothehouse，intoherroombehindthekitchen，andshutthedoor。There，withoutcallingtoanybody，withoutagroan，shelaydownonthebedandboreherchild。
`IwasliftingsupperwhenoldMrs。Shimerdacamerunningdownthebasementstairs，outofbreathandscreeching:
`“Babycome，babycome！“shesays。“Ambroschmuchlikedevil！“
`BrotherWilliamissurelyapatientman。Hewasjustreadytositdowntoahotsupperafteralongdayinthefields。
Withoutawordheroseandwentdowntothebarnandhookeduphisteam。Hegotusoverthereasquickasitwashumanlypossible。
Iwentrightin，andbegantodoforAntonia；butshelaidtherewithhereyesshutandtooknoaccountofme。
Theoldwomangotatubfulofwarmwatertowashthebaby。
IoverlookedwhatshewasdoingandIsaidoutloud:
“Mrs。Shimerda，don\'tyouputthatstrongyellowsoapnearthatbaby。
You\'llblisteritslittleskin。“Iwasindignant。
`“Mrs。Steavens，“Antoniasaidfromthebed，“ifyou\'lllookinthetoptrayofmytrunk，you\'llseesomefinesoap。“
Thatwasthefirstwordshespoke。
`AfterI\'ddressedthebaby，ItookitouttoshowittoAmbrosch。
Hewasmutteringbehindthestoveandwouldn\'tlookatit。
`“You\'dbetterputitoutintherain-barrel，“hesays。
`“Now，seehere，Ambrosch，“saysI，“there\'salawinthisland，don\'tforgetthat。Istandhereawitnessthatthisbabyhascomeintotheworldsoundandstrong，andIintendtokeepaneyeonwhatbefallsit。“
IpridemyselfIcowedhim。
`WellIexpectyou\'renotmuchinterestedinbabies，butAntonia\'sgotonfine。Sheloveditfromthefirstasdearlyasifshe\'dhadaringonherfinger，andwasneverashamedofit。
It\'sayearandeightmonthsoldnow，andnobabywaseverbettercared-for。Antoniaisanatural-bornmother。
Iwishshecouldmarryandraiseafamily，butIdon\'tknowasthere\'smuchchancenow。\'
IsleptthatnightintheroomIusedtohavewhenIwasalittleboy，withthesummerwindblowinginatthewindows，bringingthesmelloftheripefields。Ilayawakeandwatchedthemoonlightshiningoverthebarnandthestacksandthepond，andthewindmillmakingitsolddarkshadowagainstthebluesky。
