第6章

类别:其他 作者:Robert Louis Stevenson字数:23710更新时间:18/12/21 13:17:54
Sheputherhandforwardanddraggeditaway,triedagain,andstartedbackwithacry。Hefrowned。 “Why,I’dlethertakecornfrommyface,“saidPaul,“onlyshebumpsabit。She’seversoneat。Ifshewasn’t,look,howmuchgroundshe’dpeckupeveryday。” Hewaitedgrimly,andwatched。AtlastMiriamletthebird,peckfromherhand。Shegavealittlecry——fear,andpainbecause,offear——ratherpathetic。Butshehaddoneit,andshediditagain。 “There,yousee,“saidtheboy。”Itdoesn’thurt,doesit?” Shelookedathimwithdilateddarkeyes。 “No,“shelaughed,trembling。 Thensheroseandwentindoors。Sheseemedtobeinsomeway,resentfuloftheboy。 “HethinksI’monlyacommongirl,“shethought,andshewanted,toproveshewasagrandpersonlikethe“LadyoftheLake“。 Paulfoundhismotherreadytogohome。Shesmiledonherson。 Hetookthegreatbunchofflowers。Mr。andMrs。Leiverswalked,downthefieldswiththem。Thehillsweregoldenwithevening; deepinthewoodsshowedthedarkeningpurpleofbluebells。 Itwaseverywhereperfectlystiff,savefortherustlingofleaves,andbirds。 “Butitisabeautifulplace,“saidMrs。Morel。 “Yes,“answeredMr。Leivers;“it’sanicelittleplace,ifonly,itweren’tfortherabbits。Thepasture’sbittendowntonothing。 IdunnoifeverIs’llgettherentoffit。” Heclappedhishands,andthefieldbrokeintomotionnear,thewoods,brownrabbitshoppingeverywhere。 “Wouldyoubelieveit!”exclaimedMrs。Morel。 SheandPaulwentonalonetogether。 “Wasn’titlovely,mother?”hesaidquietly。 Athinmoonwascomingout。Hisheartwasfullofhappiness,tillithurt。Hismotherhadtochatter,becauseshe,too,wantedtocrywithhappiness。 “NowWOULDN’TIhelpthatman!”shesaid。”WOULDN’TIsee,tothefowlsandtheyoungstock!,AndI’Dlearntomilk,andI’D talkwithhim,andI’Dplanwithhim。Myword,ifIwerehiswife,thefarmwouldberun,Iknow!,Butthere,shehasn’tthestrength——she,simplyhasn’tthestrength。Sheoughtnevertohavebeenburdened,likeit,youknow。I’msorryforher,andI’msorryforhimtoo。 Myword,ifI’Dhadhim,Ishouldn’thavethoughthimabadhusband! Notthatshedoeseither;andshe’sverylovable。” WilliamcamehomeagainwithhissweetheartattheWhitsuntide。 Hehadoneweekofhisholidaysthen。Itwasbeautifulweather。 Asarule,WilliamandLilyandPaulwentoutinthemorningtogether,forawalk。Williamdidnottalktohisbelovedmuch,excepttotell,herthingsfromhisboyhood。Paultalkedendlesslytobothofthem。 Theylaydown,allthree,inameadowbyMintonChurch。Ononeside,bytheCastleFarm,wasabeautifulquiveringscreenofpoplars。 Hawthornwasdroppingfromthehedges;pennydaisiesandragged,robinwereinthefield,likelaughter。William,abigfellow,oftwenty-three,thinnernowandevenabitgaunt,layback,inthesunshineanddreamed,whileshefingeredwithhishair。 Paulwentgatheringthebigdaisies。Shehadtakenoffherhat; herhairwasblackasahorse’smane。Paulcamebackandthreaded,daisiesinherjet-blackhair——bigspanglesofwhiteandyellow,andjust,apinktouchofraggedrobin。 “Nowyoulooklikeayoungwitch-woman,“theboysaidtoher。 “Doesn’tshe,William?” Lilylaughed。Williamopenedhiseyesandlookedather。 Inhisgazewasacertainbaffledlookofmiseryandfierceappreciation。 “Hashemadeasightofme?”sheasked,laughingdownon,herlover。 “Thathehas!”saidWilliam,smiling。 Helookedather。Herbeautyseemedtohurthim。Heglanced,atherflower-deckedheadandfrowned。 “Youlookniceenough,ifthat’swhatyouwanttoknow,“ hesaid。 Andshewalkedwithoutherhat。InalittlewhileWilliam,recovered,andwasrathertendertoher。Comingtoabridge,hecarvedherinitialsandhisinaheart。 L。L。W。 W。M。 Shewatchedhisstrong,nervoushand,withitsglistening,hairsandfreckles,ashecarved,andsheseemedfascinatedbyit。 Allthetimetherewasafeelingofsadnessandwarmth,andacertaintendernessinthehouse,whilstWilliamandLily,wereathome。Butoftenhegotirritable。Shehadbrought,foraneight-days’stay,fivedressesandsixblouses。 “Oh,wouldyoumind,“shesaidtoAnnie,“washingmethese,twoblouses,andthesethings?” AndAnniestoodwashingwhenWilliamandLilywentoutthe,nextmorning。Mrs。Morelwasfurious。Andsometimestheyoungman,catchingaglimpseofhissweetheart’sattitudetowardshissister,hatedher。 OnSundaymorningshelookedverybeautifulinadress,offoulard,silkyandsweeping,andblueasajay-bird’sfeather,andinalargecreamhatcoveredwithmanyroses,mostlycrimson。 Nobodycouldadmireherenough。Butintheevening,whenshewas,goingout,sheaskedagain: “Chubby,haveyougotmygloves?” “Which?”askedWilliam。 “MynewblackSUEDE。” “No。” Therewasahunt。Shehadlostthem。 “Lookhere,mother,“saidWilliam,“that’sthefourthpair,she’slostsinceChristmas——atfiveshillingsapair!” “YouonlygavemeTWOofthem,“sheremonstrated。 Andintheevening,aftersupper,hestoodonthehearthrug,whilstshesatonthesofa,andheseemedtohateher。Inthe,afternoonhehadleftherwhilsthewenttoseesomeoldfriend。 Shehadsatlookingatabook。AftersupperWilliamwantedtowrite,aletter。 “Hereisyourbook,Lily,“saidMrs。Morel。”Wouldyoucare,togoonwithitforafewminutes?” “No,thankyou,“saidthegirl。”Iwillsitstill。” “Butitissodull。” Williamscribbledirritablyatagreatrate。Ashesealed,theenvelopehesaid: “Readabook!,Why,she’sneverreadabookinherlife。” “Oh,goalong!”saidMrs。Morel,crosswiththeexaggeration,“It’strue,mother——shehasn’t,“hecried,jumpingupandtaking,hisoldpositiononthehearthrug。”She’sneverreadabookinherlife。” “’Er’slikeme,“chimedinMorel。”’Ercannaseewhatthere,isi’books,tersitborin’yournosein’emfor,normorecanI。” “Butyoushouldn’tsaythesethings,“saidMrs。Moreltoherson。 “Butit’strue,mother——sheCAN’Tread。Whatdidyougiveher?” “Well,IgaveheralittlethingofAnnieSwan’s。Nobodywants,toreaddrystuffonSundayafternoon。” “Well,I’llbetshedidn’treadtenlinesofit。” “Youaremistaken,“saidhismother。 AllthetimeLilysatmiserablyonthesofa。Heturned,toherswiftly。 “DIDyoureadyany?”heasked。 “Yes,Idid,“shereplied。 “Howmuch?” “ldon’tknowhowmanypages。” “TellmeONETHINGyouread。” Shecouldnot。 Shenevergotbeyondthesecondpage。Hereadagreatdeal,andhadaquick,activeintelligence。Shecouldunderstandnothingbut,love-makingandchatter。Hewasaccustomedtohavingallhisthoughts,siftedthroughhismother’smind;so,whenhewantedcompanionship,andwasaskedinreplytobethebillingandtwitteringlover,hehatedhisbetrothed。 “Youknow,mother,“hesaid,whenhewasalonewithheratnight,“she’snoideaofmoney,she’ssowessel-brained。Whenshe’spaid,she’llsuddenlybuysuchrotasmarronsglaces,andthenIhave,tobuyherseasonticket,andherextras,evenherunderclothing。 Andshewantstogetmarried,andIthinkmyselfwemightaswellget,marriednextyear。Butatthisrate——“ “Afinemessofamarriageitwouldbe,“repliedhismother。 “Ishouldconsideritagain,myboy。” “Oh,well,I’vegonetoofartobreakoffnow,“hesaid,“andsoIshallgetmarriedassoonasIcan。” “Verywell,myboy。Ifyouwill,youwill,andthere’sno,stoppingyou;butItellyou,Ican’tsleepwhenIthinkaboutit。” “Oh,she’llbeallright,mother。Weshallmanage。” “Andsheletsyoubuyherunderclothing?”askedthemother。 “Well,“hebeganapologetically,“shedidn’taskme;butone,morning——anditWAScold——Ifoundheronthestationshivering,notable,tokeepstill;soIaskedherifshewaswellwrappedup。Shesaid: ’Ithinkso。’,SoIsaid:,’Haveyougotwarmunderthingson?’ Andshesaid:,’No,theywerecotton。’,Iaskedherwhyonearthshe,hadn’tgotsomethingthickeroninweatherlikethat,andshesaid,becausesheHADnothing。Andtheresheis——abronchialsubject! IHADtotakeherandgetsomewarmthings。Well,mother,Ishouldn’t,mindthemoneyifwehadany。And,youknow,sheOUGHTtokeepenough,topayforherseason-ticket;butno,shecomestomeaboutthat,andIhavetofindthemoney。” “It’sapoorlookout,“saidMrs。Morelbitterly。 Hewaspale,andhisruggedface,thatusedtobesoperfectly,carelessandlaughing,wasstampedwithconflictanddespair。 “ButIcan’tgiveherupnow;it’sgonetoofar,“hesaid。 “And,besides,forSOMEthingsIcouldn’tdowithouther。” “Myboy,rememberyou’retakingyourlifeinyourhands,“ saidMrs。Morel。”NOTHINGisasbadasamarriagethat’s,ahopelessfailure。Minewasbadenough,Godknows,andought,toteachyousomething;butitmighthavebeenworsebyalongchalk。” Heleanedwithhisbackagainstthesideofthechimney-piece,hishandsinhispockets。Hewasabig,raw-bonedman,wholooked,asifhewouldgototheworld’sendifhewantedto。Butshesaw,thedespaironhisface。 “Icouldn’tgiveherupnow,“hesaid。 “Well,“shesaid,“rememberthereareworsewrongsthanbreaking,offanengagement。” “Ican’tgiveherupNOW,“hesaid。 Theclocktickedon;motherandsonremainedinsilence,aconflictbetweenthem;buthewouldsaynomore。Atlastshesaid: “Well,gotobed,myson。You’llfeelbetterinthemorning,andperhapsyou’llknowbetter。” Hekissedher,andwent。Sherakedthefire。Herheart,washeavynowasithadneverbeen。Before,withherhusband,thingshadseemedtobebreakingdowninher,buttheydidnot,destroyherpowertolive。Nowhersoulfeltlamedinitself。 Itwasherhopethatwasstruck。 AndsooftenWilliammanifestedthesamehatredtowards,hisbetrothed。Onthelasteveningathomehewasrailingagainsther。 “Well,“hesaid,“ifyoudon’tbelieveme,whatshe’slike,wouldyoubelieveshehasbeenconfirmedthreetimes?” “Nonsense!”laughedMrs。Morel。 “Nonsenseornot,sheHAS!,That’swhatconfirmationmeans,forher——abitofatheatricalshowwhereshecancutafigure。” “Ihaven’t,Mrs。Morel!”criedthegirl——“Ihaven’t!it,isnottrue!” “What!”hecried,flashingroundonher。”OnceinBromley,onceinBeckenham,andoncesomewhereelse。” “Nowhereelse!”shesaid,intears——“nowhereelse!” “ItWAS!,Andifitwasn’twhywereyouconfirmedTWICE?” “OnceIwasonlyfourteen,Mrs。Morel,“shepleaded,tearsinhereyes。 “Yes,“saidMrs。Morel;“Icanquiteunderstandit,child。Takeno,noticeofhim。Yououghttobeashamed,William,sayingsuchthings。” “Butit’strue。She’sreligious——shehadbluevelvet,Prayer-Books——andshe’snotasmuchreligion,oranythingelse,inherthanthattable-leg。Getsconfirmedthreetimesforshow,toshowherselfoff,andthat’showsheisinEVERYTHING—— EVERYTHING!” Thegirlsatonthesofa,crying。Shewasnotstrong。 “AsforLOVE!”hecried,“youmightaswellaskaflytoloveyou! It’lllovesettlingonyou——“ “Now,saynomore,“commandedMrs。Morel。”Ifyouwant,tosaythesethings,youmustfindanotherplacethanthis。 Iamashamedofyou,William!,Whydon’tyoubemoremanly。 Todonothingbutfindfaultwithagirl,andthenpretendyou’re,engagedtoher!“ Mrs。Morelsubsidedinwrathandindignation。 Williamwassilent,andlaterherepented,kissedandcomforted,thegirl。Yetitwastrue,whathehadsaid。Hehatedher。 Whentheyweregoingaway,Mrs。Morelaccompaniedthemasfar,asNottingham。ItwasalongwaytoKestonstation。 “Youknow,mother,“hesaidtoher,“Gyp’sshallow。 Nothinggoesdeepwithher。” “William,IWISHyouwouldn’tsaythesethings,“saidMrs。Morel,veryuncomfortableforthegirlwhowalkedbesideher。 “Butitdoesn’t,mother。She’sverymuchinlovewithmenow,butifIdiedshe’dhaveforgottenmeinthreemonths。” Mrs。Morelwasafraid。Herheartbeatfuriously,hearingthe,quietbitternessofherson’slastspeech。 “Howdoyouknow?”shereplied。”YouDON’Tknow,andtherefore,you’venorighttosaysuchathing。” “He’salwayssayingthesethings!”criedthegirl。 “InthreemonthsafterIwasburiedyou’dhavesomebodyelse,andIshouldbeforgotten,“hesaid。”Andthat’syourlove!” Mrs。MorelsawthemintothetraininNottingham,thenshe,returnedhome。 “There’sonecomfort,“shesaidtoPaul——“he’llneverhaveany,moneytomarryon,thatIAMsureof。Andsoshe’llsavehimthatway。” Soshetookcheer。Matterswerenotyetverydesperate。 ShefirmlybelievedWilliamwouldnevermarryhisGipsy。Shewaited,andshekeptPaulneartoher。 AllsummerlongWilliam’slettershadafeverishtone;heseemed,unnaturalandintense。Sometimeshewasexaggeratedlyjolly,usuallyhewasflatandbitterinhisletter。 “Ah,“hismothersaid,“I’mafraidhe’sruininghimself,againstthatcreature,whoisn’tworthyofhislove——no,nomore,thanaragdoll。” Hewantedtocomehome。Themidsummerholidaywasgone; itwasalongwhiletoChristmas。Hewroteinwildexcitement,sayinghecouldcomeforSaturdayandSundayatGooseFair,thefirst,weekinOctober。 “Youarenotwell,myboy,“saidhismother,whenshesawhim。 Shewasalmostintearsathavinghimtoherselfagain。 “No,I’venotbeenwell,“hesaid。”I’veseemedtohave,adraggingcoldallthelastmonth,butit’sgoing,Ithink。” ItwassunnyOctoberweather。Heseemedwildwithjoy,likeaschoolboyescaped;thenagainhewassilentandreserved。 Hewasmoregauntthanever,andtherewasahaggardlookinhiseyes。 “Youaredoingtoomuch,“saidhismothertohim。 Hewasdoingextrawork,tryingtomakesomemoneytomarryon,hesaid。HeonlytalkedtohismotheronceontheSaturdaynight; thenhewassadandtenderabouthisbeloved。 “Andyet,youknow,mother,forallthat,ifIdiedshe’dbe,broken-heartedfortwomonths,andthenshe’dstarttoforgetme。 You’dsee,she’dnevercomehomeheretolookatmygrave,notevenonce。” “Why,William,“saidhismother,“you’renotgoingtodie,sowhytalkaboutit?” “Butwhetherornot——“hereplied。 “Andshecan’thelpit。Sheislikethat,andifyouchoose,her——well,youcan’tgrumble,“saidhismother。 OntheSundaymorning,ashewasputtinghiscollaron: “Look,“hesaidtohismother,holdinguphischin,“whata,rashmycollar’smadeundermychin!” Justatthejunctionofchinandthroatwasabigredinflammation。 “Itoughtnottodothat,“saidhismother。”Here,putabit,ofthissoothingointmenton。Youshouldweardifferentcollars。” HewentawayonSundaymidnight,seemingbetterandmoresolid,forhistwodaysathome。 OnTuesdaymorningcameatelegramfromLondonthathewasill。 Mrs。Morelgotoffherkneesfromwashingthefloor,readthetelegram,calledaneighbour,wenttoherlandladyandborrowedasovereign,putonherthings,andsetoff。ShehurriedtoKeston,caughtan,expressforLondoninNottingham。ShehadtowaitinNottingham,nearlyanhour。Asmallfigureinherblackbonnet,shewas,anxiouslyaskingtheportersiftheyknewhowtogettoElmersEnd。 Thejourneywasthreehours。Shesatinhercornerinakindofstupor,nevermoving。AtKing’sCrossstillnoonecouldtellherhow,togettoElmersEnd。Carryingherstringbag,thatcontained,hernightdress,acombandbrush,shewentfrompersontoperson。 AtlasttheysentherundergroundtoCannonStreet。 Itwassixo’clockwhenshearrivedatWilliam’slodging。 Theblindswerenotdown。 “Howishe?”sheasked。 “Nobetter,“saidthelandlady。 Shefollowedthewomanupstairs。Williamlayonthebed,withbloodshoteyes,hisfaceratherdiscoloured。Theclotheswere,tossedabout,therewasnofireintheroom,aglassofmilkstood,onthestandathisbedside。Noonehadbeenwithhim。 “Why,myson!”saidthemotherbravely。 Hedidnotanswer。Helookedather,butdidnotseeher。 Thenhebegantosay,inadullvoice,asifrepeatingaletter,fromdictation:,“Owingtoaleakageintheholdofthisvessel,thesugarhadset,andbecomeconvertedintorock。Itneededhacking——“ Hewasquiteunconscious。Ithadbeenhisbusinesstoexamine,somesuchcargoofsugarinthePortofLondon。 “Howlonghashebeenlikethis?”themotheraskedthelandlady。 “Hegothomeatsixo’clockonMondaymorning,andheseemed,tosleepallday;theninthenightweheardhimtalking,andthis,morningheaskedforyou。SoIwired,andwefetchedthedoctor。” “Willyouhaveafiremade?” Mrs。Moreltriedtosootheherson,tokeephimstill。 Thedoctorcame。Itwaspneumonia,and,hesaid,apeculiar,erysipelas,whichhadstartedunderthechinwherethecollarchafed,andwasspreadingovertheface。Hehopeditwouldnotgettothebrain。 Mrs。Morelsettleddowntonurse。SheprayedforWilliam,prayedthathewouldrecogniseher。Buttheyoungman’sfacegrew,morediscoloured。Inthenightshestruggledwithhim。Heraved,andraved,andwouldnotcometoconsciousness。Attwoo’clock,inadreadfulparoxysm,hedied。 Mrs。Morelsatperfectlystillforanhourinthelodgingbedroom; thensherousedthehousehold。 Atsixo’clock,withtheaidofthecharwoman,shelaidhimout; thenshewentroundthedrearyLondonvillagetotheregistrar,andthedoctor。 Atnineo’clocktothecottageonScargillStreetcame,anotherwire: “Williamdiedlastnight。Letfathercome,bringmoney。” Annie,Paul,andArthurwereathome;Mr。Morelwasgone,towork。Thethreechildrensaidnotaword。Anniebegantowhimper,withfear;Paulsetoffforhisfather。 Itwasabeautifulday。AtBrinsleypitthewhitesteammelted,slowlyinthesunshineofasoftbluesky;thewheelsoftheheadstocks,twinkledhighup;thescreen,shufflingitscoalintothetrucks,madeabusynoise。 “Iwantmyfather;he’sgottogotoLondon,“saidtheboy,tothefirstmanhemetonthebank。 “ThawantsWalterMorel?,Gointheeran’tellJoeWard。” Paulwentintothelittletopoffice。 “Iwantmyfather;he’sgottogotoLondon。” “Thyfeyther?,Ishedown?,What’shisname?” “Mr。Morel。” “What,Walter?,Isowtamiss?” “He’sgottogotoLondon。” Themanwenttothetelephoneandrangupthebottomoffice。 “WalterMorel’swanted,number42,Hard。Summat’samiss; there’shisladhere。” ThenheturnedroundtoPaul。 “He’llbeupinafewminutes,“hesaid。 Paulwanderedouttothepit-top。Hewatchedthechaircomeup,withitswagonofcoal。Thegreatironcagesankbackonitsrest,afullcarflewashauledoff,anemptytramrunontothechair,abellting’edsomewhere,thechairheaved,thendroppedlike,astone。 PauldidnotrealiseWilliamwasdead;itwasimpossible,withsuchabustlegoingon。Thepuller-offswungthesmalltruck,ontotheturn-table,anothermanranwithitalongthebankdown,thecurvinglines。 “AndWilliamisdead,andmymother’sinLondon,andwhatwill,shebedoing?”theboyaskedhimself,asifitwereaconundrum。 Hewatchedchairafterchaircomeup,andstillnofather。 Atlast,standingbesideawagon,aman’sform!thechairsankon,itsrests,Morelsteppedoff。Hewasslightlylamefromanaccident。 “Isitthee,Paul?,Is’eworse?” “You’vegottogotoLondon。” Thetwowalkedoffthepit-bank,wheremenwerewatchingcuriously。 Astheycameoutandwentalongtherailway,withthe,sunnyautumnfieldononesideandawalloftrucks,ontheother,Morelsaidinafrightenedvoice: “’E’snivergone,child?” “Yes。” “Whenwor’t?” “Lastnight。Wehadatelegramfrommymother。” Morelwalkedonafewstrides,thenleanedupagainst,atruck-side,hishandoverhiseyes。Hewasnotcrying。 Paulstoodlookinground,waiting。Ontheweighing,machineatrucktrundledslowly。Paulsaweverything,excepthisfatherleaningagainstthetruckasifheweretired。 MorelhadonlyoncebeforebeentoLondon。Hesetoff,scaredandpeaked,tohelphiswife。ThatwasonTuesday。 Thechildrenwereleftaloneinthehouse。Paulwenttowork,Arthurwenttoschool,andAnniehadinafriendtobewithher。 OnSaturdaynight,asPaulwasturningthecorner,cominghome,fromKeston,hesawhismotherandfather,whohadcometoSethley,BridgeStation。Theywerewalkinginsilenceinthedark,tired,stragglingapart。Theboywaited。 “Mother!”hesaid,inthedarkness。 Mrs。Morel’ssmallfigureseemednottoobserve。Hespokeagain。 “Paul!”shesaid,uninterestedly。 Shelethimkissher,butsheseemedunawareofhim。 Inthehouseshewasthesame——small,white,andmute。 Shenoticednothing,shesaidnothing,only: “Thecoffinwillbehereto-night,Walter。You’dbettersee,aboutsomehelp。”,Then,turningtothechildren:,“We’rebringing,himhome。” Thensherelapsedintothesamemutelookingintospace,herhandsfoldedonherlap。Paul,lookingather,felthecould,notbreathe。Thehousewasdeadsilent。 “Iwenttowork,mother,“hesaidplaintively。 “Didyou?”sheanswered,dully。 AfterhalfanhourMorel,troubledandbewildered,cameinagain。 “Wheers’llweha’ehimwhenheDOEScome?”heaskedhiswife。 “Inthefront-room。” “ThenI’dbettershiftth’table?” “Yes。” “An’ha’ehimacrossth’chairs?” “Youknowthere——Yes,Isupposeso。” MorelandPaulwent,withacandle,intotheparlour。 Therewasnogasthere。Thefatherunscrewedthetopofthebig,mahoganyovaltable,andclearedthemiddleoftheroom;thenhe,arrangedsixchairsoppositeeachother,sothatthecoffincould,standontheirbeds。 “Youniverseedsuchalengthasheis!”saidtheminer,andwatchinganxiouslyasheworked。 Paulwenttothebaywindowandlookedout。Theash-tree,stoodmonstrousandblackinfrontofthewidedarkness。 Itwasafaintlyluminousnight。Paulwentbacktohismother。 Atteno’clockMorelcalled: “He’shere!” Everyonestarted。Therewasanoiseofunbarringandunlocking,thefrontdoor,whichopenedstraightfromthenightintotheroom。 “Bringanothercandle,“calledMorel。 AnnieandArthurwent。Paulfollowedwithhismother。 Hestoodwithhisarmroundherwaistintheinnerdoorway。 Downthemiddleoftheclearedroomwaitedsixchairs,facetoface。 Inthewindow,againstthelacecurtains,Arthurhelduponecandle,andbytheopendoor,againstthenight,Anniestoodleaningforward,herbrasscandlestickglittering。 Therewasthenoiseofwheels。Outsideinthedarknessofthe,streetbelowPaulcouldseehorsesandablackvehicle,onelamp,andafewpalefaces;thensomemen,miners,allintheirshirt-sleeves,seemedtostruggleintheobscurity。Presentlytwomenappeared,bowedbeneathagreatweight。ItwasMorelandhisneighbour。 “Steady!”calledMorel,outofbreath。 Heandhisfellowmountedthesteepgardenstep,heavedinto,thecandlelightwiththeirgleamingcoffin-end。Limbsofothermen,wereseenstrugglingbehind。MorelandBurns,infront,staggered; thegreatdarkweightswayed。 “Steady,steady!”criedMorel,asifinpain。 Allthesixbearerswereupinthesmallgarden,holdingthe,greatcoffinaloft。Therewerethreemorestepstothedoor。 Theyellowlampofthecarriageshonealone,downtheblackroad。 “Nowthen!”saidMorel。 Thecoffinswayed,themenbegantomountthethreesteps,withtheirload。Annie’scandleflickered,andshewhimpered,asthefirstmenappeared,andthelimbsandbowedheadsofsix,menstruggledtoclimbintotheroom,bearingthecoffinthatrode,likesorrowontheirlivingflesh。 “Oh,myson——myson!”Mrs。Morelsangsoftly,andeachtime,thecoffinswungtotheunequalclimbingofthemen:,“Oh,myson——my,son——myson!” “Mother!”Paulwhimpered,hishandroundherwaist。 Shedidnothear。 “Oh,myson——myson!”sherepeated。 Paulsawdropsofsweatfallfromhisfather’sbrow。 Sixmenwereintheroom——sixcoatlessmen,withyielding,strugglinglimbs,fillingtheroomandknockingagainstthefurniture。 Thecoffinveered,andwasgentlyloweredontothechairs。 ThesweatfellfromMorel’sfaceonitsboards。 “Myword,he’saweight!”saidaman,andthefiveminerssighed,bowed,and,tremblingwiththestruggle,descendedthestepsagain,closingthedoorbehindthem。 Thefamilywasaloneintheparlourwiththegreatpolishedbox。 William,whenlaidout,wassixfeetfourincheslong。Likeamonument,laythebrightbrown,ponderouscoffin。Paulthoughtitwouldnever,begotoutoftheroomagain。Hismotherwasstrokingthepolishedwood。 TheyburiedhimontheMondayinthelittlecemeteryonthe,hillsidethatlooksoverthefieldsatthebigchurchandthehouses。 Itwassunny,andthewhitechrysanthemumsfrilledthemselves,inthewarmth。 Mrs。Morelcouldnotbepersuaded,afterthis,totalkand,takeheroldbrightinterestinlife。Sheremainedshutoff。 Allthewayhomeinthetrainshehadsaidtoherself:“Ifonlyit,couldhavebeenme!“ WhenPaulcamehomeatnighthefoundhismothersitting,herday’sworkdone,withhandsfoldedinherlapuponher,coarseapron。Shealwaysusedtohavechangedherdressandput,onablackapron,before。NowAnniesethissupper,andhismother,satlookingblanklyinfrontofher,hermouthshuttight。 Thenhebeathisbrainsfornewstotellher。 “Mother,MissJordanwasdownto-day,andshesaidmysketch,ofacollieryatworkwasbeautiful。” ButMrs。Moreltooknonotice。Nightafternightheforced,himselftotellherthings,althoughshedidnotlisten。Itdrove,himalmostinsanetohaveherthus。Atlast: “What’sa-matter,mother?”heasked。 Shedidnothear。 “What’sa-matter?”hepersisted。”Mother,what’sa-matter?” “Youknowwhat’sthematter,“shesaidirritably,turningaway。 Thelad——hewassixteenyearsold——wenttobeddrearily。 HewascutoffandwretchedthroughOctober,NovemberandDecember。 Hismothertried,butshecouldnotrouseherself。Shecouldonly,broodonherdeadson;hehadbeenlettodiesocruelly。 Atlast,onDecember23,withhisfiveshillingsChristmas-box,inhispocket,Paulwanderedblindlyhome。Hismotherlookedathim,andherheartstoodstill。 “What’sthematter?”sheasked。 “I’mbadly,mother!”hereplied。”Mr。Jordangavemefive,shillingsforaChristmas-box!” Hehandedittoherwithtremblinghands。Sheputitonthetable。 “Youaren’tglad!”hereproachedher;buthetrembledviolently。 “Wherehurtsyou?”shesaid,unbuttoninghisovercoat。 Itwastheoldquestion。 “Ifeelbadly,mother。” Sheundressedhimandputhimtobed。Hehadpneumoniadangerously,thedoctorsaid。 “MightheneverhavehaditifI’dkepthimathome,notlet,himgotoNottingham?”wasoneofthefirstthingssheasked。 “Hemightnothavebeensobad,“saidthedoctor。 Mrs。Morelstoodcondemnedonherownground。 “Ishouldhavewatchedtheliving,notthedead,“shetoldherself。 Paulwasveryill。Hismotherlayinbedatnightswithhim; theycouldnotaffordanurse。Hegrewworse,andthecrisisapproached。 Onenighthetossedintoconsciousnessintheghastly,sicklyfeeling,ofdissolution,whenallthecellsinthebodyseeminintense,irritabilitytobebreakingdown,andconsciousnessmakesalast,flareofstruggle,likemadness。 “Is’lldie,mother!”becried,heavingforbreathonthepillow。 Sheliftedhimup,cryinginasmallvoice: “Oh,myson——myson!” Thatbroughthimto。Herealisedher。Hiswholewillrose,upandarrestedhim。Heputhisheadonherbreast,andtookease,ofherforlove。 “Forsomethings,“saidhisaunt,“itwasagoodthingPaul,wasillthatChristmas。Ibelieveitsavedhismother。” Paulwasinbedforsevenweeks。Hegotupwhiteandfragile。 Hisfatherhadboughthimapotofscarletandgoldtulips。 TheyusedtoflameinthewindowintheMarchsunshineashesat,onthesofachatteringtohismother。Thetwoknittedtogetherin,perfectintimacy。Mrs。Morel’slifenowrooteditselfinPaul。 Williamhadbeenaprophet。Mrs。Morelhadalittlepresent,andaletterfromLilyatChristmas。Mrs。Morel’ssisterhad,aletterattheNewYear。 “Iwasataballlastnight。Somedelightfulpeoplewerethere,andIenjoyedmyselfthoroughly,“saidtheletter。”Ihadevery,dance——didnotsitoutone。” Mrs。Morelneverheardanymoreofher。 Morelandhiswifeweregentlewitheachotherforsometime,afterthedeathoftheirson。Hewouldgointoakindofdaze,staringwide-eyedandblankacrosstheroom。Thenhegotupsuddenly,andhurriedouttotheThreeSpots,returninginhisnormalstate。 ButneverinhislifewouldhegoforawalkupShepstone,pasttheofficewherehissonhadworked,andhealwaysavoided,thecemetery。 PARTTWO CHAPTERVII LAD-AND-GIRLLOVE PAULhadbeenmanytimesuptoWilleyFarmduringtheautumn。 Hewasfriendswiththetwoyoungestboys。Edgartheeldest,wouldnot,condescendatfirst。AndMiriamalsorefusedtobeapproached。 Shewasafraidofbeingsetatnought,asbyherownbrothers。 Thegirlwasromanticinhersoul。EverywherewasaWalterScott,heroinebeinglovedbymenwithhelmetsorwithplumesintheircaps。 Sheherselfwassomethingofaprincessturnedintoaswine-girl,inherownimagination。Andshewasafraidlestthisboy,who,nevertheless,lookedsomethinglikeaWalterScotthero,whocouldpaintandspeakFrench,andknewwhatalgebrameant,andwhowentbytraintoNottinghameveryday,mightconsiderher,simplyastheswine-girl,unabletoperceivetheprincessbeneath; sosheheldaloof。 Hergreatcompanionwashermother。Theywerebothbrown-eyed,andinclinedtobemystical,suchwomenastreasurereligion,insidethem,breatheitintheirnostrils,andseethewholeoflife,inamistthereof。SotoMiriam,ChristandGodmadeonegreatfigure,whichshelovedtremblinglyandpassionatelywhenatremendoussunset,burnedoutthewesternsky,andEdiths,andLucys,andRowenas,Briande,BoisGuilberts,RobRoys,andGuyMannerings,rustledthesunnyleaves,inthemorning,orsatinherbedroomaloft,alone,whenitsnowed。 Thatwaslifetoher。Fortherest,shedrudgedinthehouse,whichworkshewouldnothavemindedhadnothercleanredfloorbeen,muckedupimmediatelybythetramplingfarm-bootsofherbrothers。 Shemadlywantedherlittlebrotheroffourtoletherswathe,himandstiflehiminherlove;shewenttochurchreverently,withbowedhead,andquiveredinanguishfromthevulgarityofthe,otherchoir-girlsandfromthecommon-soundingvoiceofthecurate; shefoughtwithherbrothers,whomsheconsideredbrutallouts; andsheheldnotherfatherintoohighesteembecausehedidnot,carryanymysticalidealscherishedinhisheart,butonlywanted,tohaveaseasyatimeashecould,andhismealswhenhewasready,forthem。 Shehatedherpositionasswine-girl。Shewantedtobeconsidered。 Shewantedtolearn,thinkingthatifshecouldread,asPaulsaid,hecouldread,“Colomba“orthe“VoyageautourdemaChambre“the,worldwouldhaveadifferentfaceforherandadeepenedrespect。 Shecouldnotbeprincessbywealthorstanding。Soshewasmad,tohavelearningwhereontoprideherself。Forshewasdifferent,fromotherfolk,andmustnotbescoopedupamongthecommonfry。 Learningwastheonlydistinctiontowhichshethoughttoaspire。 Herbeauty——thatofashy,wild,quiveringlysensitive,thing——seemednothingtoher。Evenhersoul,sostrongforrhapsody,wasnotenough。Shemusthavesomethingtoreinforceherpride,becauseshefeltdifferentfromotherpeople。Paulsheeyed,ratherwistfully。Onthewhole,shescornedthemalesex。 Butherewasanewspecimen,quick,light,graceful,whocould,begentleandwhocouldbesad,andwhowasclever,andwhoknew,alot,andwhohadadeathinthefamily。Theboy’spoor,morseloflearningexaltedhimalmostsky-highinheresteem。 Yetshetriedhardtoscornhim,becausehewouldnotseeinher,theprincessbutonlytheswine-girl。Andhescarcelyobservedher。 Thenhewassoill,andshefelthewouldbeweak。Thenshe,wouldbestrongerthanhe。Thenshecouldlovehim。Ifshecould,bemistressofhiminhisweakness,takecareofhim,ifhecould,dependonher,ifshecould,asitwere,havehiminherarms,howshewouldlovehim! Assoonastheskiesbrightenedandplum-blossomwasout,Pauldroveoffinthemilkman’sheavyfloatuptoWilleyFarm。 Mr。Leiversshoutedinakindlyfashionattheboy,thenclicked,tothehorseastheyclimbedthehillslowly,inthefreshness,ofthemorning。Whitecloudswentontheirway,crowdingtothe,backofthehillsthatwererousinginthespringtime。Thewater,ofNethermerelaybelow,veryblueagainstthesearedmeadowsand,thethorn-trees。 Itwasfourandahalfmiles’drive。Tinybudsonthehedges,vividascopper-green,wereopeningintorosettes;andthrushescalled,andblackbirdsshriekedandscolded。Itwasanew,glamorousworld。 Miriam,peepingthroughthekitchenwindow,sawthehorsewalk,throughthebigwhitegateintothefarmyardthatwasbackedbythe,oak-wood,stillbare。Thenayouthinaheavyovercoatclimbeddown。 Heputuphishandsforthewhipandtherugthatthegood-looking,ruddyfarmerhandeddowntohim。 Miriamappearedinthedoorway。Shewasnearlysixteen,verybeautiful,withherwarmcolouring,hergravity,hereyes,dilatingsuddenlylikeanecstasy。 “Isay,“saidPaul,turningshylyaside,“yourdaffodils,arenearlyout。Isn’titearly?,Butdon’ttheylookcold?” “Cold!”saidMiriam,inhermusical,caressingvoice。 “Thegreenontheirbuds——“andhefalteredintosilencetimidly。 “Letmetaketherug,“saidMiriamover-gently。 “Icancarryit,“heanswered,ratherinjured。Butheyielded,ittoher。 ThenMrs。Leiversappeared。 “I’msureyou’retiredandcold,“shesaid。”Letmetake,yourcoat。ItISheavy。Youmustn’twalkfarinit。” Shehelpedhimoffwithhiscoat。Hewasquiteunused,tosuchattention。Shewasalmostsmotheredunderitsweight。 “Why,mother,“laughedthefarmerashepassedthroughthekitchen,swingingthegreatmilk-churns,“you’vegotalmostmorethanyou,canmanagethere。” Shebeatupthesofacushionsfortheyouth。 Thekitchenwasverysmallandirregular。Thefarmhadbeen,originallyalabourer’scottage。Andthefurniturewasoldandbattered。 ButPaullovedit——lovedthesack-bagthatformedthehearthrug,andthefunnylittlecornerunderthestairs,andthesmallwindow,deepinthecorner,throughwhich,bendingalittle,becouldsee,theplumtreesinthebackgardenandthelovelyroundhillsbeyond。 “Won’tyouliedown?”saidMrs。Leivers。 “Ohno;I’mnottired,“hesaid。”Isn’titlovelycomingout,don’tyouthink?,Isawasloe-bushinblossomandalotofcelandines。 I’mgladit’ssunny。” “CanIgiveyouanythingtoeatortodrink?” “No,thankyou。” “How’syourmother?” “Ithinkshe’stirednow。Ithinkshe’shadtoomuchtodo。 Perhapsinalittlewhileshe’llgotoSkegnesswithme。Thenshe’ll,beabletorest。Is’llbegladifshecan。” “Yes,“repliedMrs。Leivers。”It’sawondersheisn’t,illherself。” Miriamwasmovingaboutpreparingdinner。Paulwatched,everythingthathappened。Hisfacewaspaleandthin,buthiseyes,werequickandbrightwithlifeasever。Hewatchedthestrange,almostrhapsodicwayinwhichthegirlmovedabout,carryingagreat,stew-jartotheoven,orlookinginthesaucepan。Theatmosphere,wasdifferentfromthatofhisownhome,whereeverythingseemed,soordinary。WhenMr。Leiverscalledloudlyoutsidetothehorse,thatwasreachingovertofeedontherose-bushesinthegarden,thegirlstarted,lookedroundwithdarkeyes,asifsomethinghad,comebreakinginonherworld。Therewasasenseofsilenceinside,thehouseandout。Miriamseemedasinsomedreamytale,amaiden,inbondage,herspiritdreaminginalandfarawayandmagical。 Andherdiscoloured,oldbluefrockandherbrokenbootsseemed,onlyliketheromanticragsofKingCophetua’sbeggar-maid。 Shesuddenlybecameawareofhiskeenblueeyesuponher,takingherallin。Instantlyherbrokenbootsandherfrayedold,frockhurther。Sheresentedhisseeingeverything。Evenheknew,thatherstockingwasnotpulledup。Shewentintothescullery,blushingdeeply。Andafterwardsherhandstrembledslightlyat,herwork。Shenearlydroppedallshehandled。Whenherinside,dreamwasshaken,herbodyquiveredwithtrepidation。Sheresented,thathesawsomuch。 Mrs。Leiverssatforsometimetalkingtotheboy,althoughshe,wasneededatherwork。Shewastoopolitetoleavehim。 Presentlysheexcusedherselfandrose。Afterawhileshelooked,intothetinsaucepan。 “OhDEAR,Miriam,“shecried,“thesepotatoeshaveboileddry!” Miriamstartedasifshehadbeenstung。 “HAVEthey,mother?”shecried。 “Ishouldn’tcare,Miriam,“saidthemother,“ifIhadn’t,trustedthemtoyou。”,Shepeeredintothepan。 Thegirlstiffenedasiffromablow。Herdarkeyesdilated; sheremainedstandinginthesamespot。 “Well,“sheanswered,grippedtightinself-consciousshame,“I’msureIlookedatthemfiveminutessince。” “Yes,“saidthemother,“Iknowit’seasilydone。” “They’renotmuchburned,“saidPaul。”Itdoesn’tmatter,doesit?” Mrs。Leiverslookedattheyouthwithherbrown,hurteyes。 “Itwouldn’tmatterbutfortheboys,“shesaidtohim。 “OnlyMiriamknowswhatatroubletheymakeifthepotatoesare,’caught’。” “Then,“thoughtPaultohimself,“youshouldn’tletthemmake,atrouble。” AfterawhileEdgarcamein。Heworeleggings,andhisboots,werecoveredwithearth。Hewasrathersmall,ratherformal,forafarmer。HeglancedatPaul,noddedtohimdistantly,andsaid: “Dinnerready?” “Nearly,Edgar,“repliedthemotherapologetically。 “I’mreadyformine,“saidtheyoungman,takingupthenewspaper,andreading。Presentlytherestofthefamilytroopedin。 Dinnerwasserved。Themealwentratherbrutally。Theover-gentleness,andapologetictoneofthemotherbroughtoutallthebrutality,ofmannersinthesons。Edgartastedthepotatoes,movedhismouth,quicklylikearabbit,lookedindignantlyathismother,andsaid: “Thesepotatoesareburnt,mother。” “Yes,Edgar。Iforgotthemforaminute。Perhapsyou’ll,havebreadifyoucan’teatthem。” EdgarlookedinangeracrossatMiriam。 “WhatwasMiriamdoingthatshecouldn’tattendtothem?” hesaid。 Miriamlookedup。Hermouthopened,herdarkeyesblazed,andwinced,butshesaidnothing。Sheswallowedheranger,andhershame,bowingherdarkhead。 “I’msureshewastryinghard,“saidthemother。 “Shehasn’tgotsenseeventoboilthepotatoes,“saidEdgar。 “Whatisshekeptathomefor?” “On’yforeatingeverythingthat’sleftinth’pantry,“saidMaurice。 “Theydon’tforgetthatpotato-pieagainstourMiriam,“ laughedthefather。 Shewasutterlyhumiliated。Themothersatinsilence,suffering,likesomesaintoutofplaceatthebrutalboard。 ItpuzzledPaul。Hewonderedvaguelywhyallthisintensefeeling,wentrunningbecauseofafewburntpotatoes。Themotherexalted,everything——evenabitofhousework——totheplaneofareligioustrust。 Thesonsresentedthis;theyfeltthemselvescutawayunderneath,and,theyansweredwithbrutalityandalsowithasneeringsuperciliousness。 Paulwasjustopeningoutfromchildhoodintomanhood。 Thisatmosphere,whereeverythingtookareligiousvalue,camewith,asubtlefascinationtohim。Therewassomethingintheair。 Hisownmotherwaslogical。Heretherewassomethingdifferent,somethingheloved,somethingthatattimeshehated。 Miriamquarrelledwithherbrothersfiercely。Laterin,theafternoon,whentheyhadgoneawayagain,hermothersaid: “Youdisappointedmeatdinner-time,Miriam。” Thegirldroppedherhead。 “TheyaresuchBRUTES!”shesuddenlycried,lookingup,withflashingeyes。 “Buthadn’tyoupromisednottoanswerthem?”saidthemother。 “AndIbelievedinyou。ICAN’Tstanditwhenyouwrangle。” “Butthey’resohateful!”criedMiriam,“and——andLOW。” “Yes,dear。ButhowoftenhaveIaskedyounottoanswer,Edgarback?,Can’tyoulethimsaywhathelikes?” “Butwhyshouldhesaywhathelikes?” “Aren’tyoustrongenoughtobearit,Miriam,ifevenformysake? Areyousoweakthatyoumustwranglewiththem?” Mrs。Leiversstuckunflinchinglytothisdoctrineof“theother,cheek“。Shecouldnotinstilitatallintotheboys。Withthe,girlsshesucceededbetter,andMiriamwasthechildofherheart。 Theboysloathedtheothercheekwhenitwaspresentedtothem。 Miriamwasoftensufficientlyloftytoturnit。Thentheyspat,onherandhatedher。Butshewalkedinherproudhumility,livingwithinherself。 Therewasalwaysthisfeelingofjangleanddiscordinthe,Leiversfamily。Althoughtheboysresentedsobitterlythiseternal,appealtotheirdeeperfeelingsofresignationandproudhumility,yetithaditseffectonthem。Theycouldnotestablishbetweenthemselves,andanoutsiderjusttheordinaryhumanfeelingandunexaggerated,friendship;theywerealwaysrestlessforthesomethingdeeper。 Ordinaryfolkseemedshallowtothem,trivialandinconsiderable。 Andsotheywereunaccustomed,painfullyuncouthinthesimplest,socialintercourse,suffering,andyetinsolentintheirsuperiority。 Thenbeneathwastheyearningforthesoul-intimacytowhichtheycould,notattainbecausetheyweretoodumb,andeveryapproachtoclose,connectionwasblockedbytheirclumsycontemptofotherpeople。 Theywantedgenuineintimacy,buttheycouldnotgetevennormally,neartoanyone,becausetheyscornedtotakethefirststeps,theyscornedthetrivialitywhichformscommonhumanintercourse。 PaulfellunderMrs。Leivers’sspell。Everythinghad,areligiousandintensifiedmeaningwhenhewaswithher。 Hissoul,hurt,highlydeveloped,soughtherasiffornourishment。 Togethertheyseemedtosiftthevitalfactfromanexperience。 Miriamwashermother’sdaughter。Inthesunshineofthe,afternoonmotheranddaughterwentdownthefieldswithhim。 Theylookedfornests。Therewasajennywren’sinthehedge,bytheorchard。 “IDOwantyoutoseethis,“saidMrs。Leivers。 Hecroucheddownandcarefullyputhisfingerthroughthe,thornsintotherounddoorofthenest。 “It’salmostasifyouwerefeelinginsidethelivebody,ofthebird,“hesaid,“it’ssowarm。Theysayabirdmakes,itsnestroundlikeacupwithpressingitsbreastonit。 Thenhowdiditmaketheceilinground,Iwonder?” Thenestseemedtostartintolifeforthetwowomen。 Afterthat,Miriamcametoseeiteveryday。Itseemedsoclose,toher。Again,goingdownthehedgesidewiththegirl,henoticed,thecelandines,scallopedsplashesofgold,onthesideoftheditch。 “Ilikethem,“hesaid,“whentheirpetalsgoflatbackwith,thesunshine。Theyseemedtobepressingthemselvesatthesun。” Andthenthecelandineseverafterdrewherwithalittlespell。 Anthropomorphicasshewas,shestimulatedhimintoappreciating,thingsthus,andthentheylivedforher。Sheseemedtoneedthings,kindlinginherimaginationorinhersoulbeforeshefeltshe,hadthem。Andshewascutofffromordinarylifebyherreligious,intensitywhichmadetheworldforhereitheranunnerygarden,oraparadise,wheresinandknowledgewerenot,orelseanugly,cruelthing。 Soitwasinthisatmosphereofsubtleintimacy,thismeeting,intheircommonfeelingforsomethinginNature,thattheirlovestarted。 Personally,hewasalongtimebeforeherealizedher。 Fortenmonthshehadtostayathomeafterhisillness。Fora,whilehewenttoSkegnesswithhismother,andwasperfectlyhappy。 ButevenfromtheseasidehewrotelongletterstoMrs。Leivers,abouttheshoreandthesea。Andhebroughtbackhisbeloved,sketchesoftheflatLincolncoast,anxiousforthemtosee。 AlmosttheywouldinteresttheLeiversmorethantheyinterested,hismother。ItwasnothisartMrs。Morelcaredabout;itwashimself,andhisachievement。ButMrs。Leiversandherchildrenwerealmost,hisdisciples。Theykindledhimandmadehimglowtohiswork,whereashismother’sinfluencewastomakehimquietlydetermined,patient,dogged,unwearied。 Hesoonwasfriendswiththeboys,whoserudenesswas,onlysuperficial。Theyhadall,whentheycouldtrustthemselves,astrangegentlenessandlovableness。 “Willyoucomewithmeontothefallow?”askedEdgar,ratherhesitatingly。 Paulwentjoyfully,andspenttheafternoonhelpingtohoeorto,singleturnipswithhisfriend。Heusedtoliewiththethreebrothers,inthehaypiledupinthebarnandtellthemaboutNottinghamand,aboutJordan’s。Inreturn,theytaughthimtomilk,andlethimdo,littlejobs——choppinghayorpulpingturnips——justasmuchasheliked。 Atmidsummerheworkedallthroughhay-harvestwiththem,andthen,helovedthem。Thefamilywassocutofffromtheworldactually。 Theyseemed,somehow,like“lesderniersfilsd’uneraceepuisee“。 Thoughtheladswerestrongandhealthy,yettheyhadallthat,over-sensitivenessandhanging-backwhichmadethemsolonely,yetalsosuchclose,delicatefriendsoncetheirintimacywaswon。 Paullovedthemdearly,andtheyhim。 Miriamcamelater。Buthehadcomeintoherlifebeforeshe,madeanymarkonhis。Onedullafternoon,whenthemenwereon,thelandandtherestatschool,onlyMiriamandhermother,athome,thegirlsaidtohim,afterhavinghesitatedforsometime: “Haveyouseentheswing?” “No,“heanswered。”Where?” “Inthecowshed,“shereplied。 Shealwayshesitatedtoofferortoshowhimanything。 Menhavesuchdifferentstandardsofworthfromwomen,andherdear,things——thevaluablethingstoher——herbrothershadsooftenmocked,orflouted。 “Comeon,then,“hereplied,jumpingup。 Thereweretwocowsheds,oneoneithersideofthebarn。 Inthelower,darkershedtherewasstandingforfourcows。 Hensflewscoldingoverthemanger-wallastheyouthandgirlwent,forwardforthegreatthickropewhichhungfromthebeaminthe,darknessoverhead,andwaspushedbackoverapeginthewall。 “It’ssomethinglikearope!”heexclaimedappreciatively; andhesatdownonit,anxioustotryit。Thenimmediatelyherose。 “Comeon,then,andhavefirstgo,“hesaidtothegirl。 “See,“sheanswered,goingintothebarn,“weputsomebags,ontheseat“;andshemadetheswingcomfortableforhim。 Thatgaveherpleasure。Heheldtherope。 “Comeon,then,“hesaidtoher。 “No,Iwon’tgofirst,“sheanswered。 Shestoodasideinherstill,alooffashion。 “Why?” “Yougo,“shepleaded。 Almostforthefirsttimeinherlifeshehadthepleasure,ofgivinguptoaman,ofspoilinghim。Paullookedather。 “Allright,“hesaid,sittingdown。”Mindout!” Hesetoffwithaspring,andinamomentwasflyingthrough,theair,almostoutofthedooroftheshed,theupperhalfofwhich,wasopen,showingoutsidethedrizzlingrain,thefilthyyard,thecattlestandingdisconsolateagainsttheblackcartshed,andat,thebackofallthegrey-greenwallofthewood。Shestoodbelow,inhercrimsontam-o’-shanterandwatched。Helookeddownather,andshesawhisblueeyessparkling。 “It’satreatofaswing,“hesaid。 “Yes。” Hewasswingingthroughtheair,everybitofhimswinging,likeabirdthatswoopsforjoyofmovement。Andhelookeddown,ather。Hercrimsoncaphungoverherdarkcurls,herbeautiful,warmface,sostillinakindofbrooding,wasliftedtowardshim。 Itwasdarkandrathercoldintheshed。Suddenlyaswallowcame,downfromthehighroofanddartedoutofthedoor。 “Ididn’tknowabirdwaswatching,“hecalled。 Heswungnegligently。Shecouldfeelhimfallingandlifting,throughtheair,asifhewerelyingonsomeforce。 “NowI’lldie,“hesaid,inadetached,dreamyvoice,asthough,hewerethedyingmotionoftheswing。Shewatchedhim,fascinated。 Suddenlyheputonthebrakeandjumpedout。 “I’vehadalongturn,“hesaid。”Butit’satreat,ofaswing——it’sarealtreatofaswing!” Miriamwasamusedthathetookaswingsoseriouslyandfelt,sowarmlyoverit。 “No;yougoon,“shesaid。 “Why,don’tyouwantone?”heasked,astonished。 “Well,notmuch。I’llhavejustalittle。” Shesatdown,whilsthekeptthebagsinplaceforher。 “It’ssoripping!”hesaid,settingherinmotion。”Keepyour,heelsup,orthey’llbangthemangerwall。” Shefelttheaccuracywithwhichhecaughther,exactlyatthe,rightmoment,andtheexactlyproportionatestrengthofhisthrust,andshewasafraid。Downtoherbowelswentthehotwaveoffear。 Shewasinhishands。Again,firmandinevitablecamethethrustat,therightmoment。Shegrippedtherope,almostswooning。 “Ha!”shelaughedinfear。”Nohigher!” “Butyou’renotaBIThigh,“heremonstrated。 “Butnohigher。” Heheardthefearinhervoice,anddesisted。Herheartmelted,inhotpainwhenthemomentcameforhimtothrustherforwardagain。 Butheleftheralone。Shebegantobreathe。 “Won’tyoureallygoanyfarther?”heasked。”ShouldIkeep,youthere?” “No;letmegobymyself,“sheanswered。 Hemovedasideandwatchedher。 “Why,you’rescarcelymoving,“hesaid。 Shelaughedslightlywithshame,andinamomentgotdown。 “Theysayifyoucanswingyouwon’tbesea-sick,“hesaid,ashemountedagain。”Idon’tbelieveIshouldeverbesea-sick。” Awayhewent。Therewassomethingfascinatingtoherinhim。 Forthemomenthewasnothingbutapieceofswingingstuff; notaparticleofhimthatdidnotswing。Shecouldneverlose,herselfso,norcouldherbrothers。Itrousedawarmthinher。 Itwasalmostasifhewereaflamethathadlitawarmthinher,whilstheswunginthemiddleair。 Andgraduallytheintimacywiththefamilyconcentrated,forPaulonthreepersons——themother,Edgar,andMiriam。 Tothemotherhewentforthatsympathyandthatappealwhichseemed,todrawhimout。Edgarwashisveryclosefriend。AndtoMiriam,hemoreorlesscondescended,becausesheseemedsohumble。 Butthegirlgraduallysoughthimout。Ifhebroughtuphis,sketch-book,itwasshewhoponderedlongestoverthelastpicture。 Thenshewouldlookupathim。Suddenly,herdarkeyesalightlike,waterthatshakeswithastreamofgoldinthedark,shewouldask: “WhydoIlikethisso?” Alwayssomethinginhisbreastshrankfromtheseclose,intimate,dazzledlooksofhers。 “WhyDOyou?”heasked。 “Idon’tknow。Itseemssotrue。” “It’sbecause——it’sbecausethereisscarcelyanyshadowinit; it’smoreshimmery,asifI’dpaintedtheshimmeringprotoplasm,intheleavesandeverywhere,andnotthestiffnessoftheshape。 Thatseemsdeadtome。Onlythisshimmerinessistherealliving。 Theshapeisadeadcrust。Theshimmerisinsidereally。” Andshe,withherlittlefingerinhermouth,wouldponder,thesesayings。Theygaveherafeelingoflifeagain,andvivified,thingswhichhadmeantnothingtoher。Shemanagedtofindsome,meaninginhisstruggling,abstractspeeches。Andtheywere,themediumthroughwhichshecamedistinctlyatherbelovedobjects。 Anotherdayshesatatsunsetwhilsthewaspaintingsome,pine-treeswhichcaughttheredglarefromthewest。Hehadbeenquiet。 “Thereyouare!”hesaidsuddenly。”Iwantedthat。Now,lookat,themandtellme,aretheypinetrunksoraretheyredcoals,standing-uppiecesoffireinthatdarkness?,There’sGod’sburning,bushforyou,thatburnednotaway。” Miriamlooked,andwasfrightened。Butthepinetrunkswere,wonderfultoher,anddistinct。Hepackedhisboxandrose。 Suddenlyhelookedather。 “Whyareyoualwayssad?”heaskedher。 “Sad!”sheexclaimed,lookingupathimwithstartled,wonderfulbrowneyes。 “Yes,“hereplied。”Youarealwayssad。” “Iamnot——oh,notabit!”shecried。 “Butevenyourjoyislikeaflamecomingoffofsadness,“ hepersisted。”You’reneverjolly,orevenjustallright。” “No,“shepondered。”Iwonder——why?” “Becauseyou’renot;becauseyou’redifferentinside,likeapine-tree,andthenyouflareup;butyou’renotjust,likeanordinarytree,withfidgetyleavesandjolly——“ Hegottangledupinhisownspeech;butshebroodedonit,andhehadastrange,rousedsensation,asifhisfeelingswerenew。 Shegotsonearhim。Itwasastrangestimulant。 Thensometimeshehatedher。Heryoungestbrotherwasonlyfive。 Hewasafraillad,withimmensebrowneyesinhisquaintfragile,face——oneofReynolds’s“ChoirofAngels“withatouchofelf。 OftenMiriamkneeledtothechildanddrewhimtoher。 “Eh,myHubert!”shesang,inavoiceheavyandsurcharged,withlove。”Eh,myHubert!” And,foldinghiminherarms,sheswayedslightlyfromside,tosidewithlove,herfacehalflifted,hereyeshalfclosed,hervoicedrenchedwithlove。 “Don’t!”saidthechild,uneasy——“don’t,Miriam!” “Yes;youloveme,don’tyou?”shemurmureddeepinherthroat,almostasifshewereinatrance,andswayingalsoasifshewere,swoonedinanecstasyoflove。 “Don’t!”repeatedthechild,afrownonhisclearbrow。 “Youloveme,don’tyou?”shemurmured。 “WhatdoyoumakesuchaFUSSfor?”criedPaul,allinsuffering,becauseofherextremeemotion。”Whycan’tyoubeordinarywithhim?” Sheletthechildgo,androse,andsaidnothing。Herintensity,whichwouldleavenoemotiononanormalplane,irritatedtheyouth,intoafrenzy。Andthisfearful,nakedcontactofheronsmall,occasionsshockedhim。Hewasusedtohismother’sreserve。 Andonsuchoccasionshewasthankfulinhisheartandsoulthathe,hadhismother,sosaneandwholesome。 AllthelifeofMiriam’sbodywasinhereyes,whichwereusually,darkasadarkchurch,butcouldflamewithlightlikeaconflagration。 Herfacescarcelyeveralteredfromitslookofbrooding。 ShemighthavebeenoneofthewomenwhowentwithMarywhenJesus,wasdead。Herbodywasnotflexibleandliving。Shewalked,withaswing,ratherheavily,herheadbowedforward,pondering。