第14章

类别:其他 作者:Robert Louis Stevenson字数:19756更新时间:18/12/21 13:17:54
“Youwillletmehelpyouwashup,“saidClara。 “Eh,therearesofew,itwillonlytakeaminute,“saidtheother。 Clara,however,driedthetea-things,andwasgladtobeon,suchgoodtermswithhismother;butitwastorturenottobeable,tofollowhimdownthegarden。Atlastsheallowedherselftogo; shefeltasifaropeweretakenoffherankle。 TheafternoonwasgoldenoverthehillsofDerbyshire。Hestood,acrossintheothergarden,besideabushofpaleMichaelmasdaisies,watchingthelastbeescrawlintothehive。Hearinghercoming,heturnedtoherwithaneasymotion,saying: “It’stheendoftherunwiththesechaps。” Clarastoodnearhim。Overthelowredwallinfrontwas,thecountryandthefar-offhills,allgoldendim。 AtthatmomentMiriamwasenteringthroughthegarden-door。 ShesawClaragouptohim,sawhimturn,andsawthemcometo,resttogether。Somethingintheirperfectisolationtogethermade,herknowthatitwasaccomplishedbetweenthem,thattheywere,assheputit,married。Shewalkedveryslowlydownthecinder-track,ofthelonggarden。 Clarahadpulledabuttonfromahollyhockspire,andwasbreaking,ittogettheseeds。Aboveherbowedheadthepinkflowersstared,asifdefendingher。Thelastbeeswerefallingdowntothehive。 “Countyourmoney,“laughedPaul,asshebroketheflatseeds,onebyonefromtherollofcoin。Shelookedathim。 “I’mwelloff,“shesaid,smiling。 “Howmuch?,Pf!”Hesnappedhisfingers。”CanIturnthem,intogold?” “I’mafraidnot,“shelaughed。 Theylookedintoeachother’seyes,laughing。Atthatmoment,theybecameawareofMiriam。Therewasaclick,andeverything,hadaltered。 “Hello,Miriam!”heexclaimed。”Yousaidyou’dcome!” “Yes。Hadyouforgotten?” SheshookhandswithClara,saying: “Itseemsstrangetoseeyouhere。” “Yes,“repliedtheother;“itseemsstrangetobehere。” Therewasahesitation。 “Thisispretty,isn’tit?”saidMiriam。 “Ilikeitverymuch,“repliedClara。 ThenMiriamrealisedthatClarawasacceptedasshehadneverbeen。 “Haveyoucomedownalone?”askedPaul。 “Yes;IwenttoAgatha’stotea。Wearegoingtochapel。 IonlycalledinforamomenttoseeClara。” “Youshouldhavecomeinheretotea,“hesaid。 Miriamlaughedshortly,andClaraturnedimpatientlyaside。 “Doyoulikethechrysanthemums?”heasked。 “Yes;theyareveryfine,“repliedMiriam。 “Whichsortdoyoulikebest?”heasked。 “Idon’tknow。Thebronze,Ithink。” “Idon’tthinkyou’veseenallthesorts。Comeandlook。 ComeandseewhichareYOURfavourites,Clara。” Heledthetwowomenbacktohisowngarden,wherethetowsled,bushesofflowersofallcoloursstoodraggedlyalongthepathdown,tothefield。Thesituationdidnotembarrasshim,tohisknowledge。 “Look,Miriam;thesearethewhiteonesthatcamefromyourgarden。 Theyaren’tsofinehere,arethey?” “No,“saidMiriam。 “Butthey’rehardier。You’resosheltered;thingsgrowbig,andtender,andthendie。TheselittleyellowonesIlike。 Willyouhavesome?” Whiletheywereouttherethebellsbegantoringinthechurch,soundingloudacrossthetownandthefield。Miriamlookedatthe,tower,proudamongtheclusteringroofs,andrememberedthesketches,hehadbroughther。Ithadbeendifferentthen,buthehadnotleft,herevenyet。Sheaskedhimforabooktoread。Heranindoors。 “What!isthatMiriam?”askedhismothercoldly。 “Yes;shesaidshe’dcallandseeClara。” “Youtoldher,then?”camethesarcasticanswer。 “Yes;whyshouldn’tI?” “There’scertainlynoreasonwhyyoushouldn’t,“saidMrs。Morel,andshereturnedtoherbook。Hewincedfromhismother’sirony,frownedirritably,thinking:,“Whycan’tIdoasIlike?” “You’venotseenMrs。Morelbefore?”MiriamwassayingtoClara。 “No;butshe’ssonice!” “Yes,“saidMiriam,droppingherhead;“insomewaysshe’s,veryfine。” “Ishouldthinkso。” “HadPaultoldyoumuchabouther?” “Hehadtalkedagooddeal。” “Ha!” Therewassilenceuntilhereturnedwiththebook。 “Whenwillyouwantitback?”Miriamasked。 “Whenyoulike,“heanswered。 Claraturnedtogoindoors,whilstheaccompaniedMiriam,tothegate。 “WhenwillyoucomeuptoWilleyFarm?”thelatterasked。 “Icouldn’tsay,“repliedClara。 “Motheraskedmetosayshe’dbepleasedtoseeyouanytime,ifyoucaredtocome。” “Thankyou;Ishouldliketo,butIcan’tsaywhen。” “Oh,verywell!”exclaimedMiriamratherbitterly,turningaway。 Shewentdownthepathwithhermouthtotheflowershehad,givenher。 “You’resureyouwon’tcomein?”hesaid。 “No,thanks。” “Wearegoingtochapel。” “Ah,Ishallseeyou,then!”Miriamwasverybitter。 “Yes。” Theyparted。Hefeltguiltytowardsher。Shewasbitter,andshescornedhim。Hestillbelongedtoherself,shebelieved; yethecouldhaveClara,takeherhome,sitwithhernexthismother,inchapel,giveherthesamehymn-bookhehadgivenherself,yearsbefore。Sheheardhimrunningquicklyindoors。 Buthedidnotgostraightin。Haltingontheplotofgrass,heheardhismother’svoice,thenClara’sanswer: “WhatIhateisthebloodhoundqualityinMiriam。” “Yes,“saidhismotherquickly,“yes;DOESN’Titmakeyou,hateher,now!” Hisheartwenthot,andhewasangrywiththemfortalking,aboutthegirl。Whatrighthadtheytosaythat?,Somethingin,thespeechitselfstunghimintoaflameofhateagainstMiriam。 ThenhisownheartrebelledfuriouslyatClara’stakingtheliberty,ofspeakingsoaboutMiriam。Afterall,thegirlwasthebetterwoman,ofthetwo,hethought,ifitcametogoodness。Hewentindoors。 Hismotherlookedexcited。Shewasbeatingwithherhand,rhythmicallyonthesofa-arm,aswomendowhoarewearingout。 Hecouldneverbeartoseethemovement。Therewasasilence; thenhebegantotalk。 InchapelMiriamsawhimfindtheplaceinthehymn-book,forClara,inexactlythesamewayasheusedforherself。 Andduringthesermonhecouldseethegirlacrossthechapel,herhatthrowingadarkshadowoverherface。Whatdidshethink,seeingClarawithhim?,Hedidnotstoptoconsider。Hefelthimself,crueltowardsMiriam。 AfterchapelhewentoverPentrichwithClara。Itwasadark,autumnnight。Theyhadsaidgood-byetoMiriam,andhishearthad,smittenhimasheleftthegirlalone。”Butitservesherright,“ hesaidinsidehimself,anditalmostgavehimpleasuretogooff,underhereyeswiththisotherhandsomewoman。 Therewasascentofdampleavesinthedarkness。Clara’shand,laywarmandinertinhisownastheywalked。Hewasfullofconflict。 Thebattlethatragedinsidehimmadehimfeeldesperate。 UpPentrichHillClaraleanedagainsthimashewent。 Heslidhisarmroundherwaist。Feelingthestrongmotion,ofherbodyunderhisarmasshewalked,thetightnessinhis,chestbecauseofMiriamrelaxed,andthehotbloodbathedhim。 Heheldhercloserandcloser。 Then:,“YoustillkeeponwithMiriam,“shesaidquietly。 “Onlytalk。ThereneverWASagreatdealmorethantalk,betweenus,“hesaidbitterly。 “Yourmotherdoesn’tcareforher,“saidClara。 “No,orImighthavemarriedher。Butit’sallupreally!” Suddenlyhisvoicewentpassionatewithhate。 “IfIwaswithhernow,weshouldbejawingaboutthe’Christian,Mystery’,orsomesuchtack。ThankGod,I’mnot!” Theywalkedoninsilenceforsometime。 “Butyoucan’treallygiveherup,“saidClara。 “Idon’tgiveherup,becausethere’snothingtogive,“ hesaid。 “Thereisforher。” “Idon’tknowwhysheandIshouldn’tbefriendsaslong,aswelive,“hesaid。”Butit’llonlybefriends。” Claradrewawayfromhim,leaningawayfromcontactwithhim。 “Whatareyoudrawingawayfor?”heasked。 Shedidnotanswer,butdrewfartherfromhim。 “Whydoyouwanttowalkalone?”heasked。 Stilltherewasnoanswer。Shewalkedresentfully,hangingherhead。 “BecauseIsaidIwouldbefriendswithMiriam!”heexclaimed。 Shewouldnotanswerhimanything。 “Itellyouit’sonlywordsthatgobetweenus,“hepersisted,tryingtotakeheragain。 Sheresisted。Suddenlyhestrodeacrossinfrontofher,barringherway。 “Damnit!”hesaid。”Whatdoyouwantnow?” “You’dbetterrunafterMiriam,“mockedClara。 Thebloodflamedupinhim。Hestoodshowinghisteeth。 Shedroopedsulkily。Thelanewasdark,quitelonely。Hesuddenly,caughtherinhisarms,stretchedforward,andputhismouthon,herfaceinakissofrage。Sheturnedfranticallytoavoidhim。 Heheldherfast。Hardandrelentlesshismouthcameforher。 Herbreastshurtagainstthewallofhischest。Helpless,shewent,looseinhisarms,andhekissedher,andkissedher。 Heheardpeoplecomingdownthehill。 “Standup!standup!”hesaidthickly,grippingherarmtill,ithurt。Ifhehadletgo,shewouldhavesunktotheground。 Shesighedandwalkeddizzilybesidehim。Theywentoninsilence。 “Wewillgooverthefields,“hesaid;andthenshewokeup。 Butsheletherselfbehelpedoverthestile,andshe,walkedinsilencewithhimoverthefirstdarkfield。Itwas,thewaytoNottinghamandtothestation,sheknew。Heseemed,tobelookingabout。Theycameoutonabarehilltopwherestood,thedarkfigureoftheruinedwindmill。Therehehalted。 Theystoodtogetherhighupinthedarkness,lookingatthelights,scatteredonthenightbeforethem,handfulsofglitteringpoints,villageslyinghighandlowonthedark,hereandthere。 “Liketreadingamongthestars,“hesaid,withaquakylaugh。 Thenhetookherinhisarms,andheldherfast。Shemoved,asidehermouthtoask,doggedandlow: “Whattimeisit?” “Itdoesn’tmatter,“hepleadedthickly。 “Yesitdoes——yes!,Imustgo!” “It’searlyyet,“hesaid。 “Whattimeisit?”sheinsisted。 Allroundlaytheblacknight,speckledandspangledwithlights。 “Idon’tknow。” Sheputherhandonhischest,feelingforhiswatch。 Hefeltthejointsfuseintofire。Shegropedinhiswaistcoatpocket,whilehestoodpanting。Inthedarknessshecouldseetheround,palefaceofthewatch,butnotthefigures。Shestoopedoverit。 Hewaspantingtillhecouldtakeherinhisarmsagain。 “Ican’tsee,“shesaid。 “Thendon’tbother。” “Yes;I’mgoing!”shesaid,turningaway。 “Wait!,I’lllook!”Buthecouldnotsee。”I’llstrike,amatch。” Hesecretlyhopeditwastoolatetocatchthetrain。 Shesawtheglowinglanternofhishandsashecradledthelight: thenhisfacelitup,hiseyesfixedonthewatch。Instantlyallwas,darkagain。Allwasblackbeforehereyes;onlyaglowingmatchwas,rednearherfeet。Wherewashe? “Whatisit?”sheasked,afraid。 “Youcan’tdoit,“hisvoiceansweredoutofthedarkness。 Therewasapause。Shefeltinhispower。Shehadheard,theringinhisvoice。Itfrightenedher。 “Whattimeisit?”sheasked,quiet,definite,hopeless。 “Twominutestonine,“hereplied,tellingthetruthwith,astruggle。 “AndcanIgetfromheretothestationinfourteenminutes?” “No。Atanyrate——“ Shecoulddistinguishhisdarkformagainayardorsoaway。 Shewantedtoescape。 “Butcan’tIdoit?”shepleaded。 “Ifyouhurry,“hesaidbrusquely。”Butyoucouldeasily,walkit,Clara;it’sonlysevenmilestothetram。I’llcome,withyou。” “No;Iwanttocatchthetrain。” “Butwhy?” “Ido——Iwanttocatchthetrain。” Suddenlyhisvoicealtered。 “Verywell,“hesaid,dryandhard。”Comealong,then。” Andheplungedaheadintothedarkness。Sheranafterhim,wantingtocry。Nowhewashardandcrueltoher。Sheranover,therough,darkfieldsbehindhim,outofbreath,readytodrop。 Butthedoublerowoflightsatthestationdrewnearer。Suddenly: “Theresheis!”hecried,breakingintoarun。 Therewasafaintrattlingnoise。Awaytotherightthetrain,likealuminouscaterpillar,wasthreadingacrossthenight。 Therattlingceased。 “She’sovertheviaduct。You’lljustdoit。” Clararan,quiteoutofbreath,andfellatlastintothetrain。 Thewhistleblew。Hewasgone。Gone!——andshewasinacarriage,fullofpeople。Shefeltthecrueltyofit。 Heturnedroundandplungedhome。Beforeheknewwhere,hewashewasinthekitchenathome。Hewasverypale。 Hiseyesweredarkanddangerous-looking,asifheweredrunk。 Hismotherlookedathim。 “Well,Imustsayyourbootsareinanicestate!”shesaid。 Helookedathisfeet。Thenhetookoffhisovercoat。 Hismotherwonderedifheweredrunk。 “Shecaughtthetrainthen?”shesaid。 “Yes。” “IhopeHERfeetweren’tsofilthy。Whereonearthyoudragged,herIdon’tknow!” Hewassilentandmotionlessforsometime。 “Didyoulikeher?”heaskedgrudginglyatlast。 “Yes,Ilikedher。Butyou’lltireofher,myson;youknow,youwill。” Hedidnotanswer。Shenoticedhowhelabouredinhisbreathing。 “Haveyoubeenrunning?”sheasked。 “Wehadtorunforthetrain。” “You’llgoandknockyourselfup。You’dbetterdrinkhotmilk。” Itwasasgoodastimulantashecouldhave,butherefused,andwenttobed。Therehelayfacedownonthecounterpane,andshedtearsofrageandpain。Therewasaphysicalpain,thatmadehimbitehislipstilltheybled,andthechaosinside,himlefthimunabletothink,almosttofeel。 “Thisishowsheservesme,isit?”hesaidinhisheart,overandover,pressinghisfaceinthequilt。Andhehatedher。 Againhewentoverthescene,andagainhehatedher。 Thenextdaytherewasanewaloofnessabouthim。Clarawas,verygentle,almostloving。Buthetreatedherdistantly,withatouchofcontempt。Shesighed,continuingtobegentle。 Hecameround。 OneeveningofthatweekSarahBernhardtwasattheTheatreRoyal,inNottingham,giving“LaDameauxCamelias“。Paulwantedtosee,thisoldandfamousactress,andheaskedClaratoaccompanyhim。 Hetoldhismothertoleavethekeyinthewindowforhim。 “ShallIbookseats?”heaskedofClara。 “Yes。Andputonaneveningsuit,willyou?,I’veneverseen,youinit。” “But,goodLord,Clara!,ThinkofMEineveningsuit,atthetheatre!”heremonstrated。 “Wouldyourathernot?”sheasked。 “IwillifyouWANTmeto;butIs’llfeelafool。” Shelaughedathim。 “Thenfeelafoolformysake,once,won’tyou?” Therequestmadehisbloodflushup。 “IsupposeIs’llhaveto。” “Whatareyoutakingasuitcasefor?”hismotherasked。 Heblushedfuriously。 “Claraaskedme,“hesaid。 “Andwhatseatsareyougoingin?” “Circle——three-and-sixeach!” “Well,I’msure!”exclaimedhismothersarcastically。 “It’sonlyonceinthebluestofbluemoons,“hesaid。 HedressedatJordan’s,putonanovercoatandacap,andmet,Clarainacafe。Shewaswithoneofhersuffragettefriends。 Sheworeanoldlongcoat,whichdidnotsuither,andhadalittlewrap,overherhead,whichhehated。Thethreewenttothetheatretogether。 Claratookoffhercoatonthestairs,andhediscoveredshe,wasinasortofsemi-eveningdress,thatleftherarmsandneck,andpartofherbreastbare。Herhairwasdonefashionably。 Thedress,asimplethingofgreencrape,suitedher。Shelooked,quitegrand,hethought。Hecouldseeherfigureinsidethefrock,asifthatwerewrappedcloselyroundher。Thefirmnessandthe,softnessofheruprightbodycouldalmostbefeltashelookedather。 Heclenchedhisfists。 Andhewastositalltheeveningbesideherbeautifulnakedarm,watchingthestrongthroatrisefromthestrongchest,watchingthe,breastsunderthegreenstuff,thecurveofherlimbsinthetightdress。 Somethinginhimhatedheragainforsubmittinghimtothistorture,ofnearness。Andhelovedherasshebalancedherheadandstared,straightinfrontofher,pouting,wistful,immobile,asifshe,yieldedherselftoherfatebecauseitwastoostrongforher。 Shecouldnothelpherself;shewasinthegripofsomething,biggerthanherself。Akindofeternallookabouther,asifshe,wereawistfulsphinx,madeitnecessaryforhimtokissher。 Hedroppedhisprogramme,andcroucheddownonthefloortogetit,sothathecouldkissherhandandwrist。Herbeautywasatorture,tohim。Shesatimmobile。Only,whenthelightswentdown,shesankalittleagainsthim,andhecaressedherhandandarm,withhisfingers。Hecouldsmellherfaintperfume。Allthetime,hisbloodkeptsweepingupingreatwhite-hotwavesthatkilledhis,consciousnessmomentarily。 Thedramacontinued。Hesawitallinthedistance,goingon,somewhere;hedidnotknowwhere,butitseemedfarawayinsidehim。 HewasClara’swhiteheavyarms,herthroat,hermovingbosom。 Thatseemedtobehimself。Thenawaysomewheretheplaywenton,andhewasidentifiedwiththatalso。Therewasnohimself。 ThegreyandblackeyesofClara,herbosomcoming,downonhim,herarmthatheheldgrippedbetweenhishands,wereallthatexisted。Thenhefelthimselfsmallandhelpless,hertoweringinherforceabovehim。 Onlytheintervals,whenthelightscameup,hurthimexpressibly。 Hewantedtorunanywhere,solongasitwouldbedarkagain。 Inamaze,hewanderedoutforadrink。Thenthelightswereout,andthestrange,insanerealityofClaraandthedramatookholdof,himagain。 Theplaywenton。Buthewasobsessedbythedesireto,kissthetinyblueveinthatnestledinthebendofherarm。 Hecouldfeelit。Hiswholefaceseemedsuspendedtillhehad,puthislipsthere。Itmustbedone。Andtheotherpeople! Atlasthebentquicklyforwardandtoucheditwithhislips。 Hismoustachebrushedthesensitiveflesh。Clarashivered,drewaway,herarm。 Whenallwasover,thelightsup,thepeopleclapping,hecametohimselfandlookedathiswatch。Histrainwasgone。 “Is’llhavetowalkhome!”hesaid。 Claralookedathim。 “Itistoolate?”sheasked。 Henodded。Thenhehelpedheronwithhercoat。 “Iloveyou!,Youlookbeautifulinthatdress,“hemurmured,overhershoulder,amongthethrongofbustlingpeople。 Sheremainedquiet。Togethertheywentoutofthetheatre。 Hesawthecabswaiting,thepeoplepassing。Itseemedhemet,apairofbrowneyeswhichhatedhim。Buthedidnotknow。 HeandClaraturnedaway,mechanicallytakingthedirectionto,thestation。 Thetrainhadgone。Hewouldhavetowalkthetenmileshome。 “Itdoesn’tmatter,“hesaid。”Ishallenjoyit。” “Won’tyou,“shesaid,flushing,“comehomeforthenight? Icansleepwithmother。” Helookedather。Theireyesmet。 “Whatwillyourmothersay?”heasked。 “Shewon’tmind。” “You’resure?” “Quite!“ “SHALLIcome?” “Ifyouwill。” “Verywell。” Andtheyturnedaway。Atthefirststopping-placetheytook,thecar。Thewindblewfreshintheirfaces。Thetownwasdark; thetramtippedinitshaste。Hesatwithherhandfastinhis。 “Willyourmotherbegonetobed?”heasked。 “Shemaybe。Ihopenot。” Theyhurriedalongthesilent,darklittlestreet,theonly,peopleoutofdoors。Claraquicklyenteredthehouse。Hehesitated。 Heleapedupthestepandwasintheroom。Hermotherappeared,intheinnerdoorway,largeandhostile。 “Whohaveyougotthere?”sheasked。 “It’sMr。Morel;hehasmissedhistrain。Ithoughtwemight,puthimupforthenight,andsavehimaten-milewalk。” “H’m,“exclaimedMrs。Radford。”That’syourlookout! Ifyou’veinvitedhim,he’sverywelcomeasfarasI’mconcerned。 YOUkeepthehouse!” “Ifyoudon’tlikeme,I’llgoawayagain,“hesaid。 “Nay,nay,youneedn’t!,Comealongin!,Idunnowhatyou’ll,thinkofthesupperI’dgother。” Itwasalittledishofchippotatoesandapieceofbacon。 Thetablewasroughlylaidforone。 “Youcanhavesomemorebacon,“continuedMrs。Radford。 “Morechipsyoucan’thave。” “It’sashametobotheryou,“hesaid。 “Oh,don’tyoubeapologetic!,Itdoesn’tDOwi’me!,Youtreatedher,tothetheatre,didn’tyou?”Therewasasarcasminthelastquestion。 “Well?”laughedPauluncomfortably。 “Well,andwhat’saninchofbacon!,Takeyourcoatoff。” Thebig,straight-standingwomanwastryingtoestimate,thesituation。Shemovedaboutthecupboard。Claratookhiscoat。 Theroomwasverywarmandcosyinthelamplight。 “Mysirs!”exclaimedMrs。Radford;“butyoutwo’sapair,ofbrightbeauties,Imustsay!,What’sallthatget-upfor?” “Ibelievewedon’tknow,“hesaid,feelingavictim。 “Thereisn’troominTHIShousefortwosuchbobby-dazzlers,if,youflyyourkitesTHAThigh!”sheralliedthem。Itwasanastythrust。 Heinhisdinnerjacket,andClarainhergreendress,andbarearms,wereconfused。Theyfelttheymustshelter,eachotherinthatlittlekitchen。 “AndlookatTHATblossom!“continuedMrs。Radford,pointingtoClara。”Whatdoesshereckonshediditfor?” PaullookedatClara。Shewasrosy;herneckwaswarm,withblushes。Therewasamomentofsilence。 “Youliketoseeit,don’tyou?”heasked。 Themotherhadtheminherpower。Allthetimehisheart,wasbeatinghard,andhewastightwithanxiety。Buthewould,fighther。 “Meliketoseeit!”exclaimedtheoldwoman。”WhatshouldI liketoseehermakeafoolofherselffor?” “I’veseenpeoplelookbiggerfools,“hesaid。Clarawas,underhisprotectionnow。 “Oh,ay!andwhenwasthat?”camethesarcasticrejoinder。 “Whentheymadefrightsofthemselves,“heanswered。 Mrs。Radford,largeandthreatening,stoodsuspended,onthehearthrug,holdingherfork。 “They’refoolseitherroad,“sheansweredatlength,turningtotheDutchoven。 “No,“hesaid,fightingstoutly。”Folkoughttolookaswell,astheycan。” “AnddoyoucallTHATlookingnice!”criedthemother,pointingascornfulforkatClara。”That——thatlooksasifit,wasn’tproperlydressed!” “Ibelieveyou’rejealousthatyoucan’tswankaswell,“ hesaidlaughing。 “Me!,Icouldhaveworneveningdresswithanybody,ifI’d,wantedto!”camethescornfulanswer。 “Andwhydidn’tyouwantto?”heaskedpertinently。”OrDID youwearit?” Therewasalongpause。Mrs。Radfordreadjustedthebacon,intheDutchoven。Hisheartbeatfast,forfearhehadoffendedher。 “Me!”sheexclaimedatlast。”No,Ididn’t!,AndwhenIwas,inservice,Iknewassoonasoneofthemaidscameoutinbare,shoulderswhatsortSHEwas,goingtohersixpennyhop!” “Wereyoutoogoodtogotoasixpennyhop?”hesaid。 Clarasatwithbowedhead。Hiseyesweredarkandglittering。 Mrs。RadfordtooktheDutchovenfromthefire,andstoodnearhim,puttingbitsofbacononhisplate。 “THERE’Sanicecrozzlybit!”shesaid。 “Don’tgivemethebest!”hesaid。 “SHE’SgotwhatSHEwants,“wastheanswer。 Therewasasortofscornfulforbearanceinthewoman’stone,thatmadePaulknowshewasmollified。 “ButDOhavesome!”hesaidtoClara。 Shelookedupathimwithhergreyeyes,humiliatedandlonely。 “Nothanks!”shesaid。 “Whywon’tyou?”heansweredcarelessly。 Thebloodwasbeatinguplikefireinhisveins。Mrs。Radford,satdownagain,largeandimpressiveandaloof。HeleftClara,altogethertoattendtothemother。 “TheysaySarahBernhardt’sfifty,“hesaid。 “Fifty!,She’sturnedsixty!”camethescornfulanswer。 “Well,“hesaid,“you’dneverthinkit!,Shemademewant,tohowlevennow。” “IshouldliketoseemyselfhowlingatTHATbadoldbaggage!” saidMrs。Radford。”It’stimeshebegantothinkherselfagrandmother,notashriekingcatamaran——“ Helaughed。 “AcatamaranisaboattheMalaysuse,“hesaid。 “Andit’sawordasIuse,“sheretorted。 “Mymotherdoessometimes,andit’snogoodmytellingher,“ hesaid。 “Is’dthinksheboxesyourears,“saidMrs。Radford,good-humouredly。 “She’dliketo,andshesaysshewill,soIgiveheralittle,stooltostandon。” “That’stheworstofmymother,“saidClara。”Sheneverwants,astoolforanything。” “Butsheoftencan’ttouchTHATladywithalongprop,“ retortedMrs。RadfordtoPaul。 “Is’dthinkshedoesn’twanttouchingwithaprop,“helaughed。 “Ishouldn’t。” “Itmightdothepairofyougoodtogiveyouacrack,ontheheadwithone,“saidthemother,laughingsuddenly。 “Whyareyousovindictivetowardsme?”hesaid。”I’venot,stolenanythingfromyou。” “No;I’llwatchthat,“laughedtheolderwoman。 Soonthesupperwasfinished。Mrs。Radfordsatguardinher,chair。Paullitacigarette。Clarawentupstairs,returningwith,asleeping-suit,whichshespreadonthefendertoair。 “Why,I’dforgotallaboutTHEM!”saidMrs。Radford。 “Wherehavetheysprungfrom?” “Outofmydrawer。” “H’m!,Youbought’emforBaxter,an’hewouldn’twear’em,wouldhe?”——laughing。”Saidhereckonedtodowi’outtrousersi’ bed。”,SheturnedconfidentiallytoPaul,saying:,“Hecouldn’t,BEAR’em,thempyjamathings。” Theyoungmansatmakingringsofsmoke。 “Well,it’severyonetohistaste,“helaughed。 Thenfollowedalittlediscussionofthemeritsofpyjamas。 “Mymotherlovesmeinthem,“hesaid。”ShesaysI’mapierrot。” “Icanimaginethey’dsuityou,“saidMrs。Radford。 Afterawhileheglancedatthelittleclockthatwasticking,onthemantelpiece。Itwashalf-pasttwelve。 “Itisfunny,“hesaid,“butittakeshourstosettledown,tosleepafterthetheatre。” “It’sabouttimeyoudid,“saidMrs。Radford,clearingthetable。 “AreYOUtired?”heaskedofClara。 “Nottheleastbit,“sheanswered,avoidinghiseyes。 “Shallwehaveagameatcribbage?”hesaid。 “I’veforgottenit。” “Well,I’llteachyouagain。Mayweplaycrib,Mrs。Radford?” heasked。 “You’llpleaseyourselves,“shesaid;“butit’sprettylate。” “Agameorsowillmakeussleepy,“heanswered。 Clarabroughtthecards,andsatspinningherwedding-ringwhilst,heshuffledthem。Mrs。Radfordwaswashingupinthescullery。 AsitgrewlaterPaulfeltthesituationgettingmoreandmoretense。 “Fifteentwo,fifteenfour,fifteensix,andtwo’seight——!” Theclockstruckone。Stillthegamecontinued。Mrs。Radford,haddoneallthelittlejobspreparatorytogoingtobed,hadlockedthedoorandfilledthekettle。StillPaulwenton,dealingandcounting。HewasobsessedbyClara’sarmsandthroat。 Hebelievedhecouldseewherethedivisionwasjustbeginning,forherbreasts。Hecouldnotleaveher。Shewatchedhishands,andfeltherjointsmeltastheymovedquickly。Shewassonear; itwasalmostasifhetouchedher,andyetnotquite。Hismettlewas,roused。HehatedMrs。Radford。Shesaton,nearlydroppingasleep,butdeterminedandobstinateinherchair。Paulglancedather,thenat,Clara。Shemethiseyes,thatwereangry,mocking,andhardassteel。 Herownansweredhiminshame。HeknewSHE,atanyrate,was,ofhismind。Heplayedon。 AtlastMrs。Radfordrousedherselfstiffly,andsaid: “Isn’titnighontimeyoutwowasthinkingo’bed?” Paulplayedonwithoutanswering。Hehatedhersufficiently,tomurderher。 “Halfaminute,“hesaid。 Theelderwomanroseandsailedstubbornlyintothescullery,returningwithhiscandle,whichsheputonthemantelpiece。 Thenshesatdownagain。Thehatredofherwentsohot,downhisveins,hedroppedhiscards。 “We’llstop,then,“hesaid,buthisvoicewasstillachallenge。 Clarasawhismouthshuthard。Againheglancedather。 Itseemedlikeanagreement。Shebentoverthecards,coughing,toclearherthroat。 “Well,I’mgladyou’vefinished,“saidMrs。Radford。 “Here,takeyourthings“——shethrustthewarmsuitinhishand——“and,thisisyourcandle。Yourroom’soverthis;there’sonlytwo,soyoucan’tgofarwrong。Well,good-night。Ihopeyou’llrestwell。” “I’msureIshall;Ialwaysdo,“hesaid。 “Yes;andsoyououghtatyourage,“shereplied。 Hebadegood-nighttoClara,andwent。Thetwistingstairs,ofwhite,scrubbedwoodcreakedandclangedateverystep。 Hewentdoggedly。Thetwodoorsfacedeachother。Hewentinhisroom,pushedthedoorto,withoutfasteningthelatch。 Itwasasmallroomwithalargebed。SomeofClara’s,hair-pinswereonthedressing-table——herhair-brush。Herclothes,andsomeskirtshungunderaclothinacorner。Therewasactually,apairofstockingsoverachair。Heexploredtheroom。 Twobooksofhisownwerethereontheshelf。Heundressed,foldedhissuit,andsatonthebed,listening。Thenheblew,outthecandle,laydown,andintwominuteswasalmostasleep。 Thenclick!——hewaswideawakeandwrithingintorment。Itwasasif,whenhehadnearlygottosleep,somethinghadbittenhimsuddenly,andsenthimmad。Hesatupandlookedattheroominthedarkness,hisfeetdoubledunderhim,perfectlymotionless,listening。Heheard,acatsomewhereawayoutside;thentheheavy,poisedtread,ofthemother;thenClara’sdistinctvoice: “Willyouunfastenmydress?” Therewassilenceforsometime。Atlastthemothersaid: “Nowthen!aren’tyoucomingup?” “No,notyet,“repliedthedaughtercalmly。 “Oh,verywellthen!,Ifit’snotlateenough,stopabitlonger。 Onlyyouneedn’tcomewakingmeupwhenI’vegottosleep。” “Ishan’tbelong,“saidClara。 ImmediatelyafterwardsPaulheardthemotherslowlymounting,thestairs。Thecandlelightflashedthroughthecracksinhisdoor。 Herdressbrushedthedoor,andhisheartjumped。Thenitwasdark,andheheardtheclatterofherlatch。Shewasveryleisurelyindeed,inherpreparationsforsleep。Afteralongtimeitwasquitestill。 Hesatstrunguponthebed,shiveringslightly。Hisdoorwas,aninchopen。AsClaracameupstairs,hewouldintercepther。 Hewaited。Allwasdeadsilence。Theclockstrucktwo。Thenhe,heardaslightscrapeofthefenderdownstairs。Nowhecouldnot,helphimself。Hisshiveringwasuncontrollable。Hefelthemustgo,ordie。 Hesteppedoffthebed,andstoodamoment,shuddering。 Thenhewentstraighttothedoor。Hetriedtosteplightly。 Thefirststaircrackedlikeashot。Helistened。Theoldwoman,stirredinherbed。Thestaircasewasdark。Therewasaslit,oflightunderthestair-footdoor,whichopenedintothekitchen。 Hestoodamoment。Thenhewenton,mechanically。Everystepcreaked,andhisbackwascreeping,lesttheoldwoman’sdoorshouldopen,behindhimupabove。Hefumbledwiththedooratthebottom。 Thelatchopenedwithaloudclack。Hewentthroughintothekitchen,andshutthedoornoisilybehindhim。Theoldwomandaren’t,comenow。 Thenhestood,arrested。Clarawaskneelingonapileofwhite,underclothingonthehearthrug,herbacktowardshim,warmingherself。 Shedidnotlookround,butsatcrouchingonherheels,andher,roundedbeautifulbackwastowardshim,andherfacewashidden。 Shewaswarmingherbodyatthefireforconsolation。Theglow,wasrosyononeside,theshadowwasdarkandwarmontheother。 Herarmshungslack。 Heshudderedviolently,clenchinghisteethandfistshard,tokeepcontrol。Thenhewentforwardtoher。Heputonehand,onhershoulder,thefingersoftheotherhandunderherchinto,raiseherface。Aconvulsedshiverranthroughher,once,twice,athistouch。Shekeptherheadbent。 “Sorry!”hemurmured,realisingthathishandswereverycold。 Thenshelookedupathim,frightened,likeathingthatis,afraidofdeath。 “Myhandsaresocold,“hemurmured。 “Ilikeit,“shewhispered,closinghereyes。 Thebreathofherwordswereonhismouth。Herarmsclasped,hisknees。Thecordofhissleeping-suitdangledagainstherandmade,hershiver。Asthewarmthwentintohim,hisshudderingbecameless。 Atlength,unabletostandsoanymore,heraisedher,andshe,buriedherheadonhisshoulder。Hishandswentoverherslowly,withaninfinitetendernessofcaress。Sheclungclosetohim,tryingtohideherselfagainsthim。Heclaspedherveryfast。 Thenatlastshelookedathim,mute,imploring,lookingtoseeifshe,mustbeashamed。 Hiseyesweredark,verydeep,andveryquiet。Itwasasifher,beautyandhistakingithurthim,madehimsorrowful。Helookedat,herwithalittlepain,andwasafraid。Hewassohumblebeforeher。 Shekissedhimferventlyontheeyes,firstone,thentheother,andshefoldedherselftohim。Shegaveherself。Heheldherfast。 Itwasamomentintensealmosttoagony。 Shestoodlettinghimadoreherandtremblewithjoyofher。 Ithealedherhurtpride。Ithealedher;itmadeherglad。Itmade,herfeelerectandproudagain。Herpridehadbeenwoundedinsideher。 Shehadbeencheapened。Nowsheradiatedwithjoyandprideagain。 Itwasherrestorationandherrecognition。 Thenhelookedather,hisfaceradiant。Theylaughedto,eachother,andhestrainedhertohischest。Thesecondstickedoff,theminutespassed,andstillthetwostoodclaspedrigidtogether,mouthtomouth,likeastatueinoneblock。 Butagainhisfingerswentseekingoverher,restless,wandering,dissatisfied。Thehotbloodcameupwaveuponwave。 Shelaidherheadonhisshoulder。 “Comeyoutomyroom,“hemurmured。 Shelookedathimandshookherhead,hermouthpouting,disconsolately,hereyesheavywithpassion。Hewatchedherfixedly。 “Yes!”hesaid。 Againsheshookherhead。 “Whynot?”heasked。 Shelookedathimstillheavily,sorrowfully,andagainshe,shookherhead。Hiseyeshardened,andhegaveway。 When,lateron,hewasbackinbed,hewonderedwhyshehad,refusedtocometohimopenly,sothathermotherwouldknow。 Atanyrate,thenthingswouldhavebeendefinite。Andshecould,havestayedwithhimthenight,withouthavingtogo,asshewas,tohermother’sbed。Itwasstrange,andhecouldnotunderstandit。 Andthenalmostimmediatelyhefellasleep。 Heawokeinthemorningwithsomeonespeakingtohim。 Openinghiseyes,hesawMrs。Radford,bigandstately,lookingdown,onhim。Sheheldacupofteainherhand。 “Doyouthinkyou’regoingtosleeptillDoomsday?”shesaid。 Helaughedatonce。 “Itoughtonlytobeaboutfiveo’clock,“hesaid。 “Well,“sheanswered,“it’shalf-pastseven,whetherornot。 Here,I’vebroughtyouacupoftea。” Herubbedhisface,pushedthetumbledhairoffhisforehead,androusedhimself。 “What’sitsolatefor!”hegrumbled。 Heresentedbeingwakened。Itamusedher。Shesawhisneck,intheflannelsleeping-jacket,aswhiteandroundasagirl’s。He,rubbedhishaircrossly。 “It’snogoodyourscratchingyourhead,“shesaid。 “Itwon’tmakeitnoearlier。Here,an’howlongd’youthinkI’m,goingtostandwaitingwi’thisherecup?” “Oh,dashthecup!”hesaid。 “Youshouldgotobedearlier,“saidthewoman。 Helookedupather,laughingwithimpudence。 “IwenttobedbeforeYOUdid,“hesaid。 “Yes,myGuyney,youdid!”sheexclaimed。 “Fancy,“hesaid,stirringhistea,“havingteabroughttobed,tome!,Mymother’llthinkI’mruinedforlife。” “Don’tsheneverdoit?”askedMrs。Radford。 “She’dasleavethinkofflying。” “Ah,Ialwaysspoiltmylot!,That’swhythey’veturnedout,suchbaduns,“saidtheelderlywoman。 “You’donlyClara,“hesaid。”AndMr。Radford’sinheaven。 SoIsupposethere’sonlyyoulefttobethebadun。” “I’mnotbad;I’monlysoft,“shesaid,asshewentout,ofthebedroom。”I’monlyafool,Iam!” Clarawasveryquietatbreakfast,butshehadasortofair,ofproprietorshipoverhimthatpleasedhiminfinitely。Mrs。Radford,wasevidentlyfondofhim。Hebegantotalkofhispainting。 “What’sthegood,“exclaimedthemother,“ofyourwhittling,andworryingandtwistin’andtoo-in’atthatpaintingofyours? WhatGOODdoesitdoyou,Ishouldliketoknow?,You’dbetter,beenjoyin’yourself。” “Oh,but,“exclaimedPaul,“Imadeoverthirtyguineaslastyear。” “Didyou!,Well,that’saconsideration,butit’snothing,tothetimeyouputin。” “AndI’vegotfourpoundsowing。Amansaidhe’dgivemefive,poundsifI’dpainthimandhismissisandthedogandthecottage。 AndIwentandputthefowlsininsteadofthedog,andhewaswaxy,soIhadtoknockaquidoff。Iwassickofit,andIdidn’tlike,thedog。Imadeapictureofit。WhatshallIdowhenhepaysme,thefourpounds?” “Nay!youknowyourownusesforyourmoney,“saidMrs。Radford。 “ButI’mgoingtobustthisfourpounds。Shouldwego,totheseasideforadayortwo?” “Who?” “YouandClaraandme。” “What,onyourmoney!”sheexclaimed,half-wrathful。 “Whynot?” “YOUwouldn’tbelonginbreakingyourneckatahurdlerace!” shesaid。 “SolongasIgetagoodrunformymoney!,Willyou?” “Nay;youmaysettlethatatweenyou。” “Andyou’rewilling?”heasked,amazedandrejoicing。 “You’lldoasyoulike,“saidMrs。Radford,“whetherI’m,willingornot。” CHAPTERXIII BAXTERDAWES SOONafterPaulhadbeentothetheatrewithClara,hewasdrinking,inthePunchBowlwithsomefriendsofhiswhenDawescamein。 Clara’shusbandwasgrowingstout;hiseyelidsweregettingslack,overhisbrowneyes;hewaslosinghishealthyfirmnessofflesh。 Hewasveryevidentlyonthedownwardtrack。Havingquarrelled,withhissister,hehadgoneintocheaplodgings。Hismistress,hadlefthimforamanwhowouldmarryher。Hehadbeeninprison,onenightforfightingwhenhewasdrunk,andtherewasashady,bettingepisodeinwhichhewasconcerned。 Paulandhewereconfirmedenemies,andyettherewasbetween,themthatpeculiarfeelingofintimacy,asiftheyweresecretly,neartoeachother,whichsometimesexistsbetweentwopeople,althoughtheyneverspeaktooneanother。Pauloftenthoughtof,BaxterDawes,oftenwantedtogetathimandbefriendswithhim。 HeknewthatDawesoftenthoughtabouthim,andthatthemanwas,drawntohimbysomebondorother。Andyetthetwoneverlooked,ateachothersaveinhostility。 SincehewasasuperioremployeeatJordan’s,itwasthething,forPaultoofferDawesadrink。 “What’llyouhave?”heaskedofhim。 “Nowtwi’ableederlikeyou!”repliedtheman。 Paulturnedawaywithaslightdisdainfulmovementoftheshoulders,veryirritating。 “Thearistocracy,“hecontinued,“isreallyamilitaryinstitution。 TakeGermany,now。She’sgotthousandsofaristocratswhoseonly,meansofexistenceisthearmy。They’redeadlypoor,andlife’s,deadlyslow。Sotheyhopeforawar。Theylookforwarasachance,ofgettingon。Tillthere’sawartheyareidlegood-for-nothings。 Whenthere’sawar,theyareleadersandcommanders。Thereyouare,then——theyWANTwar!” Hewasnotafavouritedebaterinthepublic-house,beingtoo,quickandoverbearing。Heirritatedtheoldermenbyhisassertive,manner,andhiscocksureness。Theylistenedinsilence,andwere,notsorrywhenhefinished。 Dawesinterruptedtheyoungman’sflowofeloquencebyasking,inaloudsneer: “Didyoulearnallthatatth’theatreth’othernight?” Paullookedathim;theireyesmet。ThenheknewDaweshad,seenhimcomingoutofthetheatrewithClara。 “Why,whataboutth’theatre?”askedoneofPaul’sassociates,gladtogetadigattheyoungfellow,andsniffingsomethingtasty。 “Oh,himinabob-tailedeveningsuit,onthelardy-da!” sneeredDawes,jerkinghisheadcontemptuouslyatPaul。 “That’scomin’itstrong,“saidthemutualfriend。 “Tartan’all?” “Tart,begod!”saidDawes。 “Goon;let’shaveit!”criedthemutualfriend。 “You’vegotit,“saidDawes,“an’IreckonMorellyhaditan’all。” “Well,I’llbejiggered!”saidthemutualfriend。”An’wasit,apropertart?” “Tart,Godblimey——yes!” “Howdoyouknow?” “Oh,“saidDawes,“Ireckonhespentth’night——“ TherewasagooddealoflaughteratPaul’sexpense。 “ButwhoWASshe?,D’youknowher?”askedthemutualfriend。 “IshouldSHAYSHO,“saidDawes。 Thisbroughtanotherburstoflaughter。 “Thenspititout,“saidthemutualfriend。 Dawesshookhishead,andtookagulpofbeer。 “It’sawonderhehasn’tletonhimself,“hesaid。 “He’llbebraggin’ofitinabit。” “Comeon,Paul,“saidthefriend;“it’snogood。Youmight,justaswellownup。” “Ownupwhat?,ThatIhappenedtotakeafriendtothetheatre?” “Ohwell,ifitwasallright,telluswhoshewas,lad,“ saidthefriend。 “SheWASallright,“saidDawes。 Paulwasfurious。Daweswipedhisgoldenmoustachewith,hisfingers,sneering。 “Strikeme——!,Oneo’thatsort?”saidthemutualfriend。 “Paul,boy,I’msurprisedatyou。Anddoyouknowher,Baxter?” “Justabit,like!” Hewinkedattheothermen。 “Ohwell,“saidPaul,“I’llbegoing!” Themutualfriendlaidadetaininghandonhisshoulder。 “Nay,“hesaid,“youdon’tgetoffaseasyasthat,mylad。 We’vegottohaveafullaccountofthisbusiness。” “ThengetitfromDawes!”hesaid。 “Youshouldn’tfunkyourowndeeds,man,“remonstratedthefriend。 ThenDawesmadearemarkwhichcausedPaultothrowhalf,aglassofbeerinhisface。 “Oh,Mr。Morel!”criedthebarmaid,andsherangthebell,forthe“chucker-out“。 Dawesspatandrushedfortheyoungman。Atthatminute,abrawnyfellowwithhisshirt-sleevesrolledupandhistrousers,tightoverhishaunchesintervened。 “Now,then!”hesaid,pushinghischestinfrontofDawes。 “Comeout!”criedDawes。 Paulwasleaning,whiteandquivering,againstthebrassrail,ofthebar。HehatedDawes,wishedsomethingcouldexterminate,himatthatminute;andatthesametime,seeingthewethairon,theman’sforehead,hethoughthelookedpathetic。Hedidnotmove。 “Comeout,you——,“saidDawes。 “That’senough,Dawes,“criedthebarmaid。 “Comeon,“saidthe“chucker-out“withkindlyinsistence,“you’dbetterbegettingon。” And,bymakingDawesedgeawayfromhisowncloseproximity,heworkedhimtothedoor。 “THAT’Sthelittlesodasstartedit!”criedDawes,half-cowed,pointingtoPaulMorel。 “Why,whatastory,Mr。Dawes!”saidthebarmaid。”Youknow,itwasyouallthetime。” Stillthe“chucker-out“keptthrustinghischestforwardathim,stillhekeptedgingback,untilhewasinthedoorwayandonthe,stepsoutside;thenheturnedround。 “Allright,“hesaid,noddingstraightathisrival。 Paulhadacurioussensationofpity,almostofaffection,mingledwithviolenthate,fortheman。Thecoloureddoorswungto; therewassilenceinthebar。 “Serve,him,jollywellright!”saidthebarmaid。 “Butit’sanastythingtogetaglassofbeerinyoureyes,“ saidthemutualfriend。 “ItellyouIwasgladhedid,“saidthebarmaid。”Willyou,haveanother,Mr。Morel?” SheheldupPaul’sglassquestioningly。Henodded。 “He’samanasdoesn’tcareforanything,isBaxterDawes,“ saidone。 “Pooh!ishe?”saidthebarmaid。”He’saloud-mouthedone,heis,andthey’renevermuchgood。Givemeapleasant-spokenchap,ifyouwantadevil!” “Well,Paul,mylad,“saidthefriend,“you’llhavetotake,careofyourselfnowforawhile。” “Youwon’thavetogivehimachanceoveryou,that’sall,“ saidthebarmaid。 “Canyoubox?”askedafriend。 “Notabit,“heanswered,stillverywhite。 “Imightgiveyouaturnortwo,“saidthefriend。 “Thanks,Ihaven’ttime。” Andpresentlyhetookhisdeparture。 “Goalongwithhim,Mr。Jenkinson,“whisperedthebarmaid,tippingMr。Jenkinsonthewink。 Themannodded,tookhishat,said:,“Good-nightall!” veryheartily,andfollowedPaul,calling: “Halfaminute,oldman。Youan’me’sgoingthesameroad,Ibelieve。” “Mr。Moreldoesn’tlikeit,“saidthebarmaid。”You’llsee,weshan’thavehiminmuchmore。I’msorry;he’sgoodcompany。 AndBaxterDaweswantslockingup,that’swhathewants。” Paulwouldhavediedratherthanhismothershouldget,toknowofthisaffair。Hesufferedtorturesofhumiliation,andself-consciousness。Therewasnowagooddealofhislife,ofwhichnecessarilyhecouldnotspeaktohismother。Hehad,alifeapartfromher——hissexuallife。Therestshestillkept。 Buthefelthehadtoconcealsomethingfromher,anditirkedhim。 Therewasacertainsilencebetweenthem,andhefelthehad,inthatsilence,todefendhimselfagainsther;hefeltcondemned,byher。Thensometimeshehatedher,andpulledatherbondage。 Hislifewantedtofreeitselfofher。Itwaslikeacirclewherelife,turnedbackonitself,andgotnofarther。Sheborehim,lovedhim,kepthim,andhisloveturnedbackintoher,sothathecouldnot,befreetogoforwardwithhisownlife,reallyloveanotherwoman。 Atthisperiod,unknowingly,heresistedhismother’sinfluence。 Hedidnottellherthings;therewasadistancebetweenthem。 Clarawashappy,almostsureofhim。Shefeltshehadatlast,gothimforherself;andthenagaincametheuncertainty。Hetold,herjestinglyoftheaffairwithherhusband。Hercolourcameup,hergreyeyesflashed。 “That’shimtoa’T’,“shecried——“likeanavvy!,He’snotfit,formixingwithdecentfolk。” “Yetyoumarriedhim,“hesaid。 Itmadeherfuriousthatheremindedher。 “Idid!”shecried。”ButhowwasItoknow?” “Ithinkhemighthavebeenrathernice,“hesaid。 “YouthinkImadehimwhatheis!”sheexclaimed。 “Ohno!hemadehimself。Butthere’ssomethingabouthim——“