第76章

类别:其他 作者:William Dean Howells字数:3837更新时间:18/12/22 09:09:46
Sheturnedherface,andaskedsternly,“Whatisit?” Thenhesaid,with,analmostequalseverity,“MissTriscoeisonboard。 MissTriscoe-and-her-father。Shewishestocomedownandseeyou。” Mrs。Marchsatupandbegantotwistherhairintoshape。“AndBurnamy?” “ThereisnoBurnamyphysically,orsofarasIcanmakeout,spiritually。Shedidn’tmentionhim,andItalkedatleastfiveminuteswithher。” “Handmemydressing-sack。”saidMrs。March,“andpokethosethingsonthesofaundertheberth。Shutupthatwash-stand,andpullthecurtainacrossthathideouswindow。Stop!Throwthosetowelsintoyourberth。 Putmyshoes,andyourslippersintotheshoe-bagonthedoor。Slipthebrushesintothatotherbag。Beatthedentoutofthesofacushionthatyourheadhasmade。Now!” “Then——thenyonwillseeher?” “Seeher!” Hervoicewassoterriblethathefledbeforeit,andhereturnedwithMissTriscoeinadreamlikesimultaneity。Heremembered,asheledthewayintohiscorridor,toapologizeforbringingherdownintoabasementroom。 “Oh,we’reinthebasement,too;itwasallwecouldget。”shesaidinwordsthatendedwithinthestate-roomheopenedtoher。Thenhewentbackandtookherchairandwrapsbesideherfather。 Heletthegeneralhimselfleadthewayuptohishealth,whichhewasnotslowinreaching,andwasnotquickinleaving。HeremindedMarchofthestatehehadseenhiminatWurzburg,andhesaidithadgonefrombadtoworsewithhim。AtWeimarhehadtakentohisbedandmerelyescapedfromitwithhislife。ThentheyhadtriedSchevleningenforaweek,where,hesaidinatoneofsomeinjury,theyhadratherthoughttheymightfindthem,theMarches。Theairhadbeenpoisontohim,andtheyhadcomeovertoEnglandwithsomenotionofBournemouth;butthedoctorinLondonhadthoughtnot,andurgedtheirgoinghome。“AllEuropeisdamp,youknow,anddarkasapocketinwinter。”heended。 TherehadbeennothingaboutBurnamy,andMarchdecidedthathemustwaittoseehiswifeifhewishedtoknowanything,whenthegeneral,whohadbeensilent,twistedhisheadtowardshim,andsaidwithoutregardtothecontext,“Itwascomplicated,atWeimar,bythatyoungmaninthemostdevilishway。DidmydaughterwritetoMrs。Marchabout——Wellitcametonothing,afterall;andIdon’tunderstandhow,tothisday。Idoubtiftheydo。Itwassomesortofquarrel,Isuppose。Iwasn’tconsultedinthemattereitherway。Itappearsthatparentsarenotconsultedinthesetriflingaffairs,nowadays。”Hehadmarriedhisdaughter’smotherinopendefianceofherfather;butintheglareofhisdaughter’swilfulnessthisfacthadwhitenedintopiousobedience。“IdaresayI shallbetold,by-and-by,andshallbeexpectedtoapproveoftheresult。” AfancypossessedMarchthatbyoperationoftemperamentallawsGeneralTriscoewasnomoresatisfiedwithBurnamy’sfinalrejectionthanwithhisacceptance。Iftheengagementwasevertoberenewed,itmightbeanotherthing;butasitstood,Marchdivinedacertainfavorfortheyoungmaninthegeneral’sattitude。Buttheaffairwasaltogethertoodelicateforcomment;thegeneral’saristocraticfranknessindealingwithitmighthavegonefartherifhisknowledgehadbeengreater;butinanycaseMarchdidnotseehowhecouldtouchit。Hecouldonlysay,HehadalwayslikedBurnamy,himself。 Hehadhisgoodqualities,thegeneralowned。Hedidnotprofesstounderstandtheyoungmenofourtime;butcertainlythefellowhadtheinstinctsofagentleman。Hehadnothingtosayagainsthim,unlessinthatbusinesswiththatman——whatwashisname? “Stoller?”Marchprompted。“Idon’texcusehiminthat,butIdon’tblamehimsomuch,either。Ifpunishmentmeansatonement,hehadtheopportunityofmakingthatrightverysuddenly,andifpardonmeansexpunction,thenIdon’tseewhythatoffencehasn’tbeenprettywellwipedout。 “Thosethingsarenotsosimpleastheyusedtoseem。”saidthegeneral,withaseriousnessbeyondhiswontinthingsthatdidnotimmediatelyconcernhisowncomfortoradvantage。 InthemeantimeMrs。MarchandMissTriscoewerediscussinganotheroffenceofBurnamy’s。 “Itwasn’t。”saidthegirl,excitedly,afteraplungethroughalltheminorfactstotheheartofthematter,“thathehadn’taperfectrighttodoit,ifhethoughtIdidn’tcareforhim。IhadrefusedhimatCarlsbad,andIhadforbiddenhimtospeaktomeabout——onthesubject。 Butthatwasmerelytemporary,andheoughttohaveknownit。HeoughttohaveknownthatIcouldn’taccepthim,onthespurofthemoment,thatway;andwhenhehadcomeback,aftergoingawayindisgrace,beforehehaddoneanythingtojustifyhimself。Icouldn’thavekeptmyself- respect;andasitwasIhadthegreatestdifficulty;andheoughttohaveseenit。Ofcoursehesaidafterwardsthathedidn’tseeit。Butwhen——whenIfoundoutthatSHEhadbeeninWeimar,andallthattime,whileIhadbeensufferinginCarlsbadandWurzburg,andlongingtoseehim——lethimknowhowIwasreallyfeeling——hewasflirtingwiththat—— thatgirl,thenIsawthathewasafalsenature,andIdeterminedtoputanendtoeverything。AndthatiswhatIdid;andIshallalwaysthinkI——didright——and——“ TherestwaslostinAgatha’shandkerchief,whichsheputuptohereyes。 Mrs。Marchwatchedherfromherpillowkeepingthegirl’sunoccupiedhandinherown,andsoftlypressingittillthestormwaspastsufficientlytoallowhertobeheard。 Thenshesaid,“Menareverystrange——thebestofthem。Andfromtheveryfactthathewasdisappointed,hewouldbeallthemoreapttorushintoaflirtationwithsomebodyelse。” MissTriscoetookdownherhandkerchieffromafacethathadcertainlynotbeenbeautifiedbygrief。“Ididn’tblamehimfortheflirting;ornotsomuch。Itwashiskeepingitfrommeafterwards。Heoughttohavetoldmetheveryfirstinstantwewereengaged。Buthedidn’t。Heletitgoon,andifIhadn’thappenedonthatbouquetImightneverhaveknownanythingaboutit。ThatiswhatImeanby——afalsenature。 Iwouldn’thavemindedhisdeceivingme;buttoletmedeceivemyself—— Oh,itwastoomuch!” Agathahidherfaceinherhandkerchiefagain。Shewasperchingontheedgeoftheberth,andMrs。Marchsaid,withaglance,whichshedidnotsee,towardthesofa,“I’mafraidthat’sratherahardseatforyou。 “Oh,no,thankyou!I’mperfectlycomfortable——Ilikeit——ifyoudon’tmind?” Mrs。Marchpressedherhandforanswer,andafteranotherlittledelay,sighedandsaid,“Theyarenotlikeus,andwecannothelpit。Theyaremoretemporizing。” “Howdoyoumean?”Agathaunmaskedagain。 “Theycanbeartokeepthingsbetterthanwecan,andtheytrusttotimetobringthemright,ortocomerightofthemselves。” “Idon’tthinkMr。Marchwouldtrustthingstocomerightofthemselves!” saidAgathainindignantaccusalofMrs。March’ssincerity。 “Ah,that’sjustwhathewoulddo,mydear,andhasdone,allalong;andIdon’tbelievewecouldhavelivedthroughwithoutit:weshouldhavequarrelledourselvesintothegrave!” “Mrs。March!” “Yes,indeed。Idon’tmeanthathewouldeverdeceiveme。Buthewouldletthingsgoon,andhopethatsomehowtheywouldcomerightwithoutanyfuss。” “Doyoumeanthathewouldletanybodydeceivethemselves?” “I’mafraidhewould——ifhethoughtitwouldcomeright。Itusedtobeaterribletrialtome;anditisyet,attimeswhenIdon’trememberthathemeansnothingbutgoodandkindnessbyit。OnlytheotherdayinAnsbach——howlongagoitseems!——heletapooroldwomangivehimherson’saddressinJerseyCity,andallowedhertobelievehewouldlookhimupwhenwegotbackandtellhimwehadseenher。Idon’tbelieve,unlessIkeeprightroundafterhim,aswesayinNewEngland,thathe’llevergoneartheman。” Agathalookeddaunted,butshesaid,“Thatisaverydifferentthing。” “Itisn’tadifferentkindofthing。Anditshowswhatmenare,——thesweetestandbestofthem,thatis。Theyareterriblyapttobe——easy-going。” “ThenyouthinkIwasallwrong?”thegirlaskedinatremor。 “No,indeed!Youwereright,becauseyoureallyexpectedperfectionofhim。Youexpectedtheideal。Andthat’swhatmakesallthetrouble,inmarriedlife:weexpecttoomuchofeachother——weeachexpectmoreoftheotherthanwearewillingtogiveorcangive。IfIhadtobeginoveragain,Ishouldnotexpectanythingatall,andthenIshouldbesureofbeingradiantlyhappy。Butallthistalkingandallthiswritingaboutloveseemstoturnourbrains;weknowthatmenarenotperfect,evenatourcraziest,becausewomenarenot,butweexpectperfectionofthem;andtheyseemtoexpectitofus,poorthings!Ifwecouldkeeponafterweareinlovejustaswewerebeforewewereinlove,andtakenicethingsasfavorsandsurprises,aswedidinthebeginning!Butwegetmoreandmoregreedyandexacting——“