第77章

类别:其他 作者:William Dean Howells字数:4400更新时间:18/12/22 09:09:46
“DoyouthinkIwastooexactinginwantinghimtotellmeeverythingafterwewereengaged?” “No,Idon’tsaythat。Butsupposehehadputitofftillyouweremarried?”Agathablushedalittle,butnotpainfully,“Wouldithavebeensobad?Thenyoumighthavethoughtthathisflirtinguptothelastmomentinhisdesperationwasaverygoodjoke。Youwouldhaveunderstoodbetterjusthowitwas,anditmightevenhavemadeyoufonderofhim。Youmighthaveseenthathehadflirtedwithsomeoneelsebecausehewassoheart-brokenaboutyou。” “ThenyoubelievethatifIcouldhavewaitedtill——till——butwhenIhadfoundout,don’tyouseeIcouldn’twait?ItwouldhavebeenallverywellifIhadn’tknownittillthen。ButasIdidknowit。Don’tyousee?” “Yes,thatcertainlycomplicatedit。”Mrs。Marchadmitted。“ButIdon’tthink,ifhe’dbeenafalsenature,he’dhaveownedupashedid。Yousee,hedidn’ttrytodenyit;andthat’sagreatpointgained。” “Yes,thatistrue。”saidAgatha,withconviction。“Isawthatafterwards。Butyoudon’tthink,Mrs。March,thatIwasunjustor——orhasty?” “No,indeed!Youcouldn’thavedonedifferentlyunderthecircumstances。 Youmaybesurehefeltthat——heissounselfishandgenerous——“Agathabegantoweepintoherhandkerchiefagain;Mrs。Marchcaressedherhand。 “Anditwillcertainlycomerightifyoufeelasyoudo。” “No。”thegirlprotested。“Hecanneverforgiveme;it’sallover,everythingisover。Itwouldmakeverylittledifferencetome,whathappenednow——ifthesteamerbrokehershaft,oranything。ButifIcanonlybelieveIwasn’tunjust——“ Mrs。Marchassuredheroncemorethatshehadbehavedwithabsoluteimpartiality;andsheprovedtoherbyaprocessofreasoningquiteirrefragablethatitwasonlyaquestionoftime,withwhichplacehadnothingtodo,whensheandBurnamyshouldcometogetheragain,andallshouldbemaderightbetweenthem。Thefactthatshedidnotknowwherehewas,anymorethanMrs。Marchherself,hadnothingtodowiththeresult;thatwasameredetail,whichwouldsettleitself。Sheclinchedherargumentbyconfessingthatherownengagementhadbeenbrokenoff,andthatithadsimplyreneweditself。Allyouhadtodowastokeepwillingit,andwaiting。Therewassomethingverymysteriousinit。 “Andhowlongwasittill——“Agathafaltered。 “Well,inoureaseitwastwoyears。” “Oh!”saidthegirl,butMrs。Marchhastenedtoreassureher。 “Butourcasewasverypeculiar。Icouldseeafterwardsthatitneedn’thavebeentwomonths,ifIhadbeenwillingtoacknowledgeatoncethatI wasinthewrong。Iwaitedtillwemet。” “IfIfeltthatIwasinthewrong,Ishouldwrite。”saidAgatha。 “Ishouldn’tcarewhathethoughtofmydoingit。” “Yes,thegreatthingistomakesurethatyouwerewrong。” Theyremainedtalkingsolong,thatMarchandthegeneralhadexhaustedallthetopicsofcommoninterest,andhadevengonethroughthosetheydidnotcarefor。Atlastthegeneralsaid,“I’mafraidmydaughterwilltireMrs。March。” “Oh,Idon’tthinkshe’lltiremywife。Butdoyouwanther?” “Well,whenyou’regoingdown。” “IthinkI’lltakeaturnaboutthedeck,andstartmycirculation。”saidMarch,andhedidsobeforehewentbelow。 Hefoundhiswifeupanddressed,andwaitingprovisionallyonthesofa。 “IthoughtImightaswellgotolunch。”shesaid,andthenshetoldhimaboutAgathaandBurnamy,andthemeansshehademployedtocomfortandencouragethegirl。“Andnow,dearest,IwantyoutofindoutwhereBurnamyis,andgivehimahint。Youwill,won’tyou!Ifyoucouldhaveseenhowunhappyshewas!” “Idon’tthinkIshouldhavecared,andI’mcertainlynotgoingtomeddle。IthinkBurnamyhasgotnomorethanhedeserved,andthathe’swellridofher。Ican’timagineabrokenengagementthatwouldmorecompletelymeetmyapproval。Asthecasestands,theyhavemyblessing。” “Don’tsaythat,dearest!Youknowyoudon’tmeanit。” “Ido;andIadviseyoutokeepyourhandsoff。You’vedoneallandmorethanyououghttopropitiateMissTriscoe。You’veofferedyourselfup,andyou’veofferedmeup——“ “No,no,Basil!Imerelyusedyouasanillustrationofwhatmenwere—— thebestofthem。” “AndIcan’tobserve。”hecontinued,“thatanyoneelsehasbeenconsideredinthematter。IsMissTriscoethesolesuffererbyBurnamy’sflirtation?Whatisthematterwithalittlecompassionforthepivotalgirl?” “Now,youknowyou’renotserious。”saidhiswife;andthoughhewouldnotadmitthis,hecouldnotbeseriouslysorryforthenewinterestwhichshetookintheaffair。Therewasnolongeranyquestionofchangingtheirstate-room。Underthetonicinfluenceoftheexcitementshedidnotgobacktoherberthafterlunch,andshewasuplaterafterdinnerthanhecouldhaveadvised。ShewasabsorbedinAgatha,butinherliberationfromherhypochondria,shebeganalsotomakeacomparativestudyoftheAmericanswells,inthelightofherlateexperiencewiththeGermanhighhotes。Itistruethatnoneoftheswellsgavehertheopportunityofexaminingthematcloserange,asthehighhoteshaddone。Theykepttotheir,state-roomsmostly,where,afterhethoughtshecouldbearit,Marchtoldherhownearhehadcometomakinghertheirequalbyanoutlayofsixhundreddollars。Shenowshudderedatthethought;butshecontendedthatintheirmagnificentexclusivenesstheycouldgivepointstoEuropeanprinces;andthatthisshowedagainhowwhenAmericansdidtrytodoathing,theybeattheworld。AgathaTriscoeknewwhotheywere,butshedidnotknowthem; theybelongedtoanotherkindofset;shespokeofthemas“richpeople。” andsheseemedcontenttokeepawayfromthemwithMrs。Marchandwiththeshy,silentoldwifeofMajorEltwin,towhomMarchsometimesfoundhertalking。 HeneverfoundherfathertalkingwithMajorEltwin。GeneralTriscoehadhisownfriendsinthesmoking-room,whereheheldforthinacertaincorneronthechancesoftheapproachingelectioninNewYork,andmockedtheirincredulitywhenheprophesiedthesuccessofTammanyandthereturnoftheKing。MarchhimselfmuchpreferredMajorEltwintothegeneralandhisfriends;helivedbackinthetalkoftheOhioanintohisownyoungeryearsinIndiana,andhewasamusedandtouchedtofindhowmuchthemid-Westernlifeseemedstillthesameashehadknown。Theconditionshadchanged,butnotsomuchastheyhadchangedintheEastandthefartherWest。Thepicturethatthemajordrewoftheminhisownregionwasalluring;itmadeMarchhomesick;thoughheknewthatheshouldnevergobacktohisnativesection。Therewasthecomfortofkindinthemajor;andhehadaveinofphilosophy,sparebutsweet,whichMarchliked;helikedalsothemeeknesswhichhadcomethroughsorrowuponaspiritwhichhadoncebeenproud。 Theyhadboththeelderlyman’shabitofearlyrising,andtheyusuallyfoundthemselvestogetherwaitingimpatientlyforthecupofcoffee,ingenuouslybad,whichtheyservedontheCupanianotearlierthanhalfpastsix,instrictobservanceofaruleofthelinediscouragingtopeopleoftheirhabits。Marchadmiredthevilenessofthedecoction,whichhesaidcouldnotbegotanywhereoutoftheBritishEmpire,andheaskedEltwinthefirstmorningifhehadnoticedhowinstantlyontheChannelboattheyhaddroppedtoitandtothesour,heavy,soddenBritishbread,fromthespiritedandairyContinentaltraditionofcoffeeandrolls。 Themajorconfessedthathewasnogreathandtonoticesuchthings,andhesaidhesupposedthatifthelinehadneverlostapassenger,andgotyoutoNewYorkinsixdaysithadarighttofeedyouasitpleased;hesurmisedthatiftheycouldgettheirairingoutsidebeforetheytooktheircoffee,itwouldgivethecoffeeachancetotastebetter;andthiswaswhattheyafterwardsdid。Theymet,wellbuttonedandwellminedup,onthepromenadewhenitwasyetsoearlythattheywerenotatoncesureofeachotherinthetwilight,andwatchedthemorningplanetspaleeastandwestbeforethesunrose。Sometimestherewerenopalingplanetsandnorisingsun,andablacksea,ridgedwithwhite,tossedunderalowdarkskywithdimrifts。 Onemorning,theysawthesunrisewithaserenityandmajestywhichitrarelyhasoutsideofthetheatre。Thedawnbeganoverthatseawhichwasliketherumpledcanvasimitationsoftheseaonthestage,underlongmauvecloudsbathedinsolemnlight。Abovethese,inthepaletendersky,twosilverstarshung,andthesteamer’ssmokedriftedacrossthemlikeathinduskyveil。Totherightabankofduncloudbegantoburncrimson,andtoburnbrightertillitwaslikealowhill-sidefullofgorgeousrugositiesfleecedwithadensedwarfishgrowthofautumnalshrubs。Thewholeeasternheavensoftenedandflushedthroughdiaphanousmists;thewestremainedalividmystery。Theeasternmassesandflakesofcloudbegantokindlekeenly;butthestarsshoneclearly,andthenonestar,tillthetawnypinkhidit。Allthezenithreddened,butstillthesundidnotshowexceptinthecolorofthebrilliantclouds。Atlasttheluridhorizonbegantoburnlikeaflame-shotsmoke,andafiercelybrightdiscedgepierceditslevel,andswiftlydefineditselfasthesun’sorb。 ManythoughtswentthroughMarch’smind;someofthemweresad,butinsometherewasatouchofhopefulness。Itmighthavebeenthatbeautywhichconsoledhimforhisyears;somehowhefelthimself,ifnolongeryoung,apartoftheyoungimmortalframeofthings。Hisstatewasindefinable,buthelongedtohintatittohiscompanion。 “Yes。”saidEltwin,withalongdeepsigh。“IfeelasifIcouldwalkoutthroughthatbrightnessandfindher。Ireckonthatsuchhopeswouldn’tbeallowedtolietous;thatsomanyagesofmencouldn’thavefooledthemselvesso。I’mgladI’veseenthis。”Hewassilentandtheybothremainedwatchingtherisingsuntilltheycouldnotbearitssplendor。“Now。”saidthemajor,“itmustbetimeforthatmud,asyoucallit。”Overtheircoffeeandcrackersattheendofthetablewhichtheyhadtothemselves,heresumed。“Iwasthinkingallthetime—— weseemtothinkhalfadozenthingsatonce,andthiswasoneofthem