Poorgentleman！helostafinehunterandhislife，atlast，byit，allinoneday’shunt。ButIoughttoblessthatday，fortheestatecamestraightintoTHEfamily，upononecondition，whichSirPatrickO’Shaughlinatthetimetooksadlytoheart，theysay，butthoughtbetterofitafterwards，seeinghowlargeastakedependeduponit：thatheshould，byActofParliament，takeandbearthesurnameandarmsofRackrent。
NowitwasthattheworldwastoseewhatwasINSirPatrick。Oncomingintotheestatehegavethefinestentertainmenteverwasheardofinthecountry;notamancouldstandaftersupperbutSirPatrickhimselfwhocouldsitoutthebestmaninIreland，letalonethethreekingdomsitself[SeeGLOSSARY2]。Hehadhishouse，fromoneyear’sendtoanother，asfullofcompanyaseveritcouldhold，andfuller;forratherthanbeleftoutofthepartiesatCastleRackrent，manygentlemen，andthosemenofthefirstconsequenceandlandedestatesinthecountry——suchastheO’NeillsofBallynagrotty，andtheMoneygawlsofMountJuliet’sTown，andO’ShannonsofNewTownTullyhog——madeittheirchoice，oftenandoften，whentherewasnoroomtobehadforlovenormoney，inlongwinternights，tosleepinthechicken-house，whichSirPatrickhadfittedupforthepurposeofaccommodatinghisfriendsandthepublicingeneral，whohonouredhimwiththeircompanyunexpectedlyatCastleRackrent;andthiswentonI
can’ttellyouhowlong。Thewholecountryrangwithhispraises！——longlifetohim！I’msureIlovetolookuponhispicture，nowoppositetome;thoughIneversawhim，hemusthavebeenaportlygentleman——hisnecksomethingshort，andremarkableforthelargestpimpleonhisnose，which，byhisparticulardesire，isstillextantinhispicture，saidtobeastrikinglikeness，thoughtakenwhenyoung。Heissaidalsotobetheinventorofraspberrywhisky，whichisverylikely，asnobodyhaseverappearedtodisputeitwithhim，andastherestillexistsabrokenpunch-bowlatCastleRackrent，inthegarret，withaninscriptiontothateffect——agreatcuriosity。Afewdaysbeforehisdeathhewasverymerry;itbeinghishonour’sbirthday，hecalledmygrandfatherin——Godblesshim！——todrinkthecompany’shealth，andfilledabumperhimself，butcouldnotcarryittohishead，onaccountofthegreatshakeinhishand;onthishecasthisjoke，saying，’Whatwouldmypoorfathersaytomeifhewastopopoutofthegrave，andseemenow？IrememberwhenI
wasalittleboy，thefirstbumperofclarethegavemeafterdinner，howhepraisedmeforcarryingitsosteadytomymouth。
Here’smythankstohim——abumpertoast。’Thenhefelltosingingthefavouritesonghelearnedfromhisfather——forthelasttime，poorgentleman——hesungitthatnightasloudandasheartyasever，withachorus：
Hethatgoestobed，andgoestobedsober，Fallsastheleavesdo，fallsastheleavesdo，anddiesinOctober;
’Buthethatgoestobed，andgoestobedmellow，Livesasheoughttodo，livesasheoughttodo，anddiesanhonestfellow。
SirPatrickdiedthatnight：justasthecompanyrosetodrinkhishealthwiththreecheers，hefelldowninasortoffit，andwascarriedoff;theysatitout，andweresurprised，oninquiryinthemorning，tofindthatitwasalloverwithpoorSirPatrick。Neverdidanygentlemanliveanddiemorebelovedinthecountrybyrichandpoor。Hisfuneralwassuchaoneaswasneverknownbeforeorsinceinthecounty！Allthegentlemeninthethreecountieswereatit;farandnear，howtheyflocked！
mygreat-grandfathersaid，thattoseeallthewomen，evenintheirredcloaks，youwouldhavetakenthemforthearmydrawnout。Thensuchafinewhillaluh！[SeeGLOSSARY3]youmighthaveheardittothefarthestendofthecounty，andhappythemanwhocouldgetbutasightofthehearse！Butwho’dhavethoughtit？Justasallwasgoingonright，throughhisowntowntheywerepassing，whenthebodywasseizedfordebt——arescuewasapprehendedfromthemob;buttheheir，whoattendedthefuneral，wasagainstthat，forfearofconsequences，seeingthatthosevillainswhocametoserveactedunderthedisguiseofthelaw：so，tobesure，thelawmusttakeitscourse，andlittlegainhadthecreditorsfortheirpains。Firstandforemost，theyhadthecursesofthecountry：andSirMurtaghRackrent，thenewheir，inthenextplace，onaccountofthisaffronttothebody，refusedtopayashillingofthedebts，inwhichhewascountenancedbyallthebestgentlemenofproperty，andothersofhisacquaintance;SirMurtaghalleginginallcompaniesthatheallalongmeanttopayhisfather’sdebtsofhonour，butthemomentthelawwastakenofhim，therewasanendofhonourtobesure。Itwaswhispered（butnonebuttheenemiesofthefamilybelieveit）thatthiswasallashamseizuretogetquitofthedebtswhichhehadboundhimselftopayinhonour。
It’salongtimeago，there’snosayinghowitwas，butthisforcertain，thenewmandidnottakeatallaftertheoldgentleman;
thecellarswereneverfilledafterhisdeath，andnoopenhouse，oranythingasitusedtobe;thetenantsevenweresentawaywithouttheirwhisky[SeeGLOSSARY4]。Iwasashamedmyself，andknewnotwhattosayforthehonourofthefamily;butImadethebestofabadcase，andlaiditallatmylady’sdoor，forIdidnotlikeheranyhow，noranybodyelse;shewasofthefamilyoftheSkinflints，andawidow;itwasastrangematchforSirMurtagh;thepeopleinthecountrythoughthedemeanedhimselfgreatly[SeeGLOSSARY5]，butIsaidnothing;Iknewhowitwas。
SirMurtaghwasagreatlawyer，andlookedtothegreatSkinflintestate;there，however，heovershothimself;forthoughoneoftheco-heiresses，hewasneverthebetterforher，forsheoutlivedhimmany’sthelongday——hecouldnotseethattobesurewhenhemarriedher。Imustsayforher，shemadehimthebestofwives，beingaverynotable，stirringwoman，andlookingclosetoeverything。ButIalwayssuspectedshehadScotchbloodinherveins;anythingelseIcouldhavelookedoverinher，fromaregardtothefamily。Shewasastrictobserver，forselfandservants，ofLent，andallfast-days，butnotholidays。OneofthemaidshavingfaintedthreetimesthelastdayofLent，tokeepsoulandbodytogether，weputamorselofroastbeefintohermouth，whichcamefromSirMurtagh’sdinner，whoneverfasted，nothe;butsomehoworotheritunfortunatelyreachedmylady’sears，andthepriestoftheparishhadacomplaintmadeofitthenextday，andthepoorgirlwasforced，assoonasshecouldwalk，todopenanceforit，beforeshecouldgetanypeaceorabsolution，inthehouseoroutofit。However，myladywasverycharitableinherownway。Shehadacharityschoolforpoorchildren，wheretheyweretaughttoreadandwritegratis，andwheretheywerekeptwelltospinninggratisformyladyinreturn;forshehadalwaysheapsofdutyyarnfromthetenants，andgotallherhouseholdlinenoutoftheestatefromfirsttolast;forafterthespinning，theweaversontheestatetookitinhandfornothing，becauseoftheloomsmylady’sinterestcouldgetfromtheLinenBoardtodistributegratis。Thentherewasableach-yardnearus，andthetenantdarerefusemyladynothing，forfearofalawsuitSirMurtaghkepthangingoverhimaboutthewatercourse。Withthesewaysofmanaging，’tissurprisinghowcheapmyladygotthingsdone，andhowproudshewasofit。Hertablethesameway，keptfornexttonothing[SeeGLOSSARY6];dutyfowls，anddutyturkeys，anddutygeese，cameasfastaswecouldeat’em，formyladykeptasharplook-
out，andknewtoatubofbuttereverythingthetenantshad，allround。Theyknewherway，andwhatwithfearofdrivingforrentandSirMurtagh’slawsuits，theywerekeptinsuchgoodorder，theyneverthoughtofcomingnearCastleRackrentwithoutapresentofsomethingorother——nothingtoomuchortoolittleformylady——eggs，honey，butter，meal，fish，game，grouse，andherrings，freshorsalt，allwentforsomething。Asfortheiryoungpigs，wehadthem，andthebestbaconandhamstheycouldmakeup，withallyoungchickensinspring;buttheywereasetofpoorwretches，andwehadnothingbutmisfortuneswiththem，alwaysbreakingandrunningaway。This，SirMurtaghandmyladysaid，wasalltheirformerlandlordSirPatrick’sfault，wholet’emallgetthehalf-year’srentintoarrear;therewassomethinginthattobesure。ButSirMurtaghwasasmuchthecontraryway;forletalonemakingEnglishtenants[SeeGLOSSARY7]ofthem，everysoul，hewasalwaysdrivinganddriving，andpoundingandpounding，andcantingandcanting[SeeGLOSSARY8]，andreplevyingandreplevying，andhemadeagoodlivingoftrespassingcattle;therewasalwayssometenant’spig，orhorse，orcow，orcalf，orgoose，trespassing，whichwassogreatagaintoSirMurtagh，thathedidnotliketohearmetalkofrepairingfences。Thenhisheriotsandduty-work[SeeGLOSSARY9]broughthiminsomething，histurfwascut，hispotatoessetanddug，hishaybroughthome，and，inshort，alltheworkabouthishousedonefornothing;forinallourleasestherewerestrictclausesheavywithpenalties，whichSirMurtaghknewwellhowtoenforce;
somanydays’duty-workofmanandhorse，fromeverytenant，hewastohave，andhad，everyyear;andwhenamanvexedhim，why，thefinestdayhecouldpitchon，whenthecraturwasgettinginhisownharvest，orthatchinghiscabin，SirMurtaghmadeitaprincipletocalluponhimandhishorse;sohetaught’emall，ashesaid，toknowthelawoflandlordandtenant。Asforlaw，I
believenoman，deadoralive，everloveditsowellasSirMurtagh。Hehadoncesixteensuitspendingatatime，andI
neversawhimsomuchhimself：roads，lanes，bogs，wells，ponds，eel-wires，orchards，trees，tithes，vagrants，gravelpits，sandpits，dunghills，andnuisances，everythinguponthefaceoftheearthfurnishedhimgoodmatterforasuit。Heusedtoboastthathehadalawsuitforeveryletterinthealphabet。HowI
usedtowondertoseeSirMurtaghinthemidstofthepapersinhisoffice！Why，hecouldhardlyturnaboutforthem。Imadeboldtoshrugmyshouldersonceinhispresence，andthankedmystarsIwasnotbornagentlemantosomuchtoilandtrouble;butSirMurtaghtookmeupshortwithhisoldproverb，’learningisbetterthanhouseorland。’Outofforty-ninesuitswhichhehad，heneverlostonebutseventeen[SeeGLOSSARY10];theresthegainedwithcosts，doublecosts，treblecostssometimes;buteventhatdidnotpay。Hewasaverylearnedmaninthelaw，andhadthecharacterofit;buthowitwasIcan’ttell，thesesuitsthathecarriedcosthimapowerofmoney：intheendhesoldsomehundredsayearofthefamilyestate;buthewasaverylearnedmaninthelaw，andIknownothingofthematter，excepthavingagreatregardforthefamily;andIcouldnothelpgrievingwhenhesentmetopostupnoticesofthesaleofthefeesimpleofthelandsandappurtenancesofTimoleague。
’Iknow，honestThady，’sayshe，tocomfortme，’whatI’maboutbetterthanyoudo;I’monlysellingtogetthereadymoneywantingtocarryonmysuitwithspiritwiththeNugentsofCarrickashaughlin。’
HewasverysanguineaboutthatsuitwiththeNugentsofCarrickashaughlin。Hecouldhavegainedit，theysay，forcertain，haditpleasedHeaventohavesparedhimtous，anditwouldhavebeenattheleastaplumptwothousandayearinhisway;butthingswereorderedotherwise——forthebesttobesure。
Hedugupafairy-mountagainstmyadvice，andhadnoluckafterwards。[Thesefairy-mountsarecalledant-hillsinEngland。
TheyareheldinhighreverencebythecommonpeopleinIreland。
Agentleman，whoinlayingouthislawnhadoccasiontoleveloneofthesehillocks，couldnotprevailuponanyofhislabourerstobegintheominouswork。HewasobligedtotakeaLOYfromoneoftheirreluctanthands，andbegantheattackhimself。Thelabourersagreedthatthevengeanceofthefairieswouldfallupontheheadofthepresumptuousmortalwhofirstdisturbedthemintheirretreat[SeeGLOSSARY11]。]Thoughalearnedmaninthelaw，hewasalittletooincredulousinothermatters。IwarnedhimthatIheardtheveryBansheethatmygrandfatherheardunderSirPatrick’swindowafewdaysbeforehisdeath。[TheBansheeisaspeciesofaristocraticfairy，who，intheshapeofalittlehideousoldwoman，hasbeenknowntoappear，andheardtosinginamournfulsupernaturalvoiceunderthewindowsofgreathouses，towarnthefamilythatsomeofthemaresoontodie。InthelastcenturyeverygreatfamilyinIrelandhadaBanshee，whoattendedregularly;butlatterlytheirvisitsandsongshavebeendiscontinued。]ButSirMurtaghthoughtnothingoftheBanshee，norofhiscough，withaspittingofblood，broughton，I
understand，bycatchingcoldinattendingthecourts，andoverstraininghischestwithmakinghimselfheardinoneofhisfavouritecauses。Hewasagreatspeakerwithapowerfulvoice;
buthislastspeechwasnotinthecourtsatall。Heandmylady，thoughbothofthesamewayofthinkinginsomethings，andthoughshewasasgoodawifeandgreateconomistasyoucouldsee，andhethebestofhusbands，astolookingintohisaffairs，andmakingmoneyforhisfamily;yetIdon’tknowhowitwas，theyhadagreatdealofsparringandjarringbetweenthem。Myladyhadherprivypurse;andshehadherweedashes[SeeGLOSSARY12]，andhersealingmoney[SeeGLOSSARY13]uponthesigningofalltheleases，withsomethingtobuyglovesbesides;
and，besides，againoftentookmoneyfromthetenants，ifofferedproperly，tospeakforthemtoSirMurtaghaboutabatementsandrenewals。Nowtheweedashesandtheglovemoneyheallowedherclearperquisites;thoughoncewhenhesawherinanewgownsavedoutoftheweedashes，hetoldhertomyface（forhecouldsayasharpthing）thatsheshouldnotputonherweedsbeforeherhusband’sdeath。Butinadisputeaboutanabatementmyladywouldhavethelastword，andSirMurtaghgrewmad[SeeGLOSSARY
14];Iwaswithinhearingofthedoor，andnowIwishIhadmadeboldtostepin。Hespokesoloud，thewholekitchenwasoutonthestairs[SeeGLOSSARY15]。Allonasuddenhestopped，andmyladytoo。Somethinghassurelyhappened，thoughtI;andsoitwas，forSirMurtaghinhispassionbrokeablood-vessel，andallthelawinthelandcoulddonothinginthatcase。Myladysentforfivephysicians，butSirMurtaghdied，andwasburied。Shehadafinejointuresettleduponher，andtookherselfaway，tothegreatjoyofthetenantry。Ineversaidanythingonewayortheotherwhilstshewaspartofthefamily，butgotuptoseehergoatthreeo’clockinthemorning。
’It’safinemorning，honestThady，’saysshe;’good-byetoye。’
Andintothecarriageshestepped，withoutawordmore，goodorbad，orevenhalf-a-crown;butImademybow，andstoodtoseehersafeoutofsightforthesakeofthefamily。
Thenwewereallbustleinthehouse，whichmademekeepoutoftheway，forIwalkslowandhateabustle;butthehousewasallhurry-skurry，preparingformynewmaster。SirMurtagh，Iforgottonotice，hadnochilder[CHILDER：thisisthemannerinwhichmanyofThady’srank，andothersinIreland，formerlypronouncedthewordCHILDREN];sotheRackrentestatewenttohisyoungerbrother，ayoungdashingofficer，whocameamongstusbeforeIknewforthelifeofmewhereaboutsIwas，inagigorsomeofthemthings，withanothersparkalongwithhim，andledhorses，andservants，anddogs，andscarceaplacetoputanyChristianoftheminto;formylateladyhadsentallthefeather-bedsoffbeforeher，andblanketsandhouseholdlinen，downtotheveryknife-cloths，onthecarstoDublin，whichwereallherown，lawfullypaidforoutofherownmoney。Sothehousewasquitebare，andmyyoungmaster，themomenteverhesetfootinitoutofhisgig，thoughtallthosethingsmustcomeofthemselves，Ibelieve，forheneverlookedafteranythingatall，butharum-scarumcalledforeverythingasifwewereconjurors，orheinapublic-house。Formypart，Icouldnotbestirmyselfanyhow;Ihadbeensomuchusedtomylatemasterandmistress，allwasupsidedownwithme，andthenewservantsintheservants’hallwerequiteoutofmyway;Ihadnobodytotalkto，andifithadnotbeenformypipeandtobacco，should，Iverilybelieve，havebrokemyheartforpoorSirMurtagh。
ButonemorningmynewmastercaughtaglimpseofmeasIwaslookingathishorse’sheels，inhopesofawordfromhim。’AndisthatoldThady？’sayshe，ashegotintohisgig：Ilovedhimfromthatdaytothis，hisvoicewassolikethefamily;andhethrewmeaguineaoutofhiswaistcoat-pocket，ashedrewupthereinswiththeotherhand，hishorserearingtoo;IthoughtI
neversetmyeyesonafinerfigureofaman，quiteanothersortfromSirMurtagh，thoughwithal，TOME，afamilylikeness。A
finelifeweshouldhaveled，hadhestayedamongstus，Godblesshim！Hevaluedaguineaaslittleasanyman：moneytohimwasnomorethandirt，andhisgentlemanandgroom，andallbelongingtohim，thesame;butthesportingseasonover，hegrewtiredoftheplace，andhavinggotdownagreatarchitectforthehouse，andanimproverforthegrounds，andseentheirplansandelevations，hefixedadayforsettlingwiththetenants，butwentoffinawhirlwindtotown，justassomeofthemcameintotheyardinthemorning。Acircularlettercamenextpostfromthenewagent，withnewsthatthemasterwassailedforEngland，andhemustremitL500toBathforhisusebeforeafortnightwasatanend;badnewsstillforthepoortenants，nochangestillforthebetterwiththem。SirKitRackrent，myyoungmaster，leftalltotheagent;andthoughhehadthespiritofaprince，andlivedawaytothehonourofhiscountryabroad，whichIwasproudtohearof，whatwerewethebetterforthatathome？Theagentwasoneofyourmiddlemen，whogrindthefaceofthepoor，andcanneverbearamanwithahatuponhishead：heferretedthetenantsoutoftheirlives;notaweekwithoutacallformoney，draftsupondraftsfromSirKit;butIlaiditalltothefaultoftheagent;for，saysI，whatcanSirKitdowithsomuchcash，andheasingleman？
[MIDDLEMEN。——Therewasaclassofmen，termedmiddlemen，inIreland，whotooklargefarmsonlongleasesfromgentlemenoflandedproperty，andletthelandagaininsmallportionstothepoor，asunder-tenants，atexorbitantrents。TheHEADLANDLORD，ashewascalled，seldomsawhisUNDER-TENANTS;butifhecouldnotgettheMIDDLEMANtopayhimhisrentpunctually，heWENTTO
HISLAND，ANDDROVETHELANDFORHISRENT;thatistosay，hesenthissteward，orbailiff，ordriver，tothelandtoseizethecattle，hay，corn，flax，oats，orpotatoes，belongingtotheunder-tenants，andproceededtoselltheseforhisrents。Itsometimeshappenedthattheseunfortunatetenantspaidtheirrenttwiceover，oncetotheMIDDLEMAN，andoncetotheHEADLANDLORD。
Thecharacteristicsofamiddlemanwereservilitytohissuperiorsandtyrannytowardshisinferiors：thepoordetestedthisraceofbeings。Inspeakingtothem，however，theyalwaysusedthemostabjectlanguage，andthemosthumbletoneandposture——’PLEASEYOURHONOUR;ANDPLEASEYOURHONOUR’SHONOUR，’
theyknewmustberepeatedasacharmatthebeginningandendofeveryequivocating，exculpatory，orsupplicatorysentence;andtheyweremuchmorealertindoffingtheircapstothosenewmenthantothoseofwhattheycallGOODOLDFAMILIES。AwittycarpenteroncetermedthesemiddlemenJOURNEYMENGENTLEMEN。]
Butstillitwent。Rentsmustbeallpaiduptotheday，andafore;noallowanceforimprovingtenants，noconsiderationforthosewhohadbuiltupontheirfarms：nosoonerwasaleaseout，butthelandwasadvertisedtothehighestbidder;alltheoldtenantsturnedout，whentheyspenttheirsubstanceinthehopeandtrustofarenewalfromthelandlord。Allwasnowletatthehighestpennytoaparcelofpoorwretches，whomeanttorunaway，anddidso，aftertakingtwocropsoutoftheground。Thenfiningdowntheyear’srentcameintofashion[SeeGLOSSARY16]
——anythingforthereadypenny;andwithallthisandpresentstotheagentandthedriver[SeeGLOSSARY17]，therewasnosuchthingasstandingit。Isaidnothing，forIhadaregardforthefamily;butIwalkedaboutthinkingifhishonourSirKitknewallthis，itwouldgohardwithhimbuthe’dseeusrighted;notthatIhadanythingformyownsharetocomplainof，fortheagentwasalwaysveryciviltomewhenhecamedownintothecountry，andtookagreatdealofnoticeofmysonJason。JasonQuirk，thoughhebemyson，Imustsaywasagoodscholarfromhisbirth，andavery’cutelad：Ithoughttomakehimapriest[SeeGLOSSARY18]，buthedidbetterforhimself;seeinghowhewasasgoodaclerkasanyinthecounty，theagentgavehimhisrentaccountstocopy，whichhedidfirstofallforthepleasureofobligingthegentleman，andwouldtakenothingatallforhistrouble，butwasalwaysproudtoservethefamily。Byandbyagoodfarmboundingustotheeastfellintohishonour’shands，andmysonputinaproposalforit：whyshouldn’the，aswellasanother？TheproposalsallwentovertothemasterattheBath，whoknowingnomoreofthelandthanthechildunborn，onlyhavingoncebeenouta-grousingonitbeforehewenttoEngland;
andthevalueoflands，astheagentinformedhim，fallingeveryyearinIreland，hishonourwroteoverinallhasteabitofaletter，sayingheleftitalltotheagent，andthathemustletitaswellashecould——tothebestbidder，tobesure——andsendhimoverL200byreturnofpost：withthistheagentgavemeahint，andIspokeagoodwordformyson，andgaveoutinthecountrythatnobodyneedbidagainstus。Sohisproposalwasjustthething，andheagoodtenant;andhegotapromiseofanabatementintherentafterthefirstyear，foradvancingthehalf-year’srentatsigningthelease，whichwaswantingtocompletetheagent’sL200bythereturnofthepost，withallwhichmymasterwrotebackhewaswellsatisfied。Aboutthistimewelearntfromtheagent，asagreatsecret，howthemoneywentsofast，andthereasonofthethickcomingofthemaster’sdrafts：hewasalittletoofondofplay;andBath，theysay，wasnoplacefornoyoungmanofhisfortune，wherethereweresomanyofhisowncountrymen，too，huntinghimupanddown，dayandnight，whohadnothingtolose。Atlast，atChristmas，theagentwroteovertostopthedrafts，forhecouldraisenomoremoneyonbondormortgage，orfromthetenants，oranyhow，norhadheanymoretolendhimself，anddesiredatthesametimetodeclinetheagencyforthefuture，wishingSirKithishealthandhappiness，andthecomplimentsoftheseason，forIsawtheletterbeforeeveritwassealed，whenmysoncopiedit。Whentheanswercametherewasanewturninaffairs，andtheagentwasturnedout;andmysonJason，whohadcorrespondedprivatelywithhishonouroccasionallyonbusiness，wasforthwithdesiredbyhishonourtotaketheaccountsintohisownhands，andlookthemover，tillfurtherorders。Itwasaveryspiritedlettertobesure：SirKitsenthisservice，andthecomplimentsoftheseason，inreturntotheagent，andhewouldfighthimwithpleasureto-morrow，oranyday，forsendinghimsuchaletter，ifhewasbornagentleman，whichhewassorry（forboththeirsakes）tofind（toolate）hewasnot。Then，inaprivatepostscript，hecondescendedtotellusthatallwouldbespeedilysettledtohissatisfaction，andweshouldturnoveranewleaf，forhewasgoingtobemarriedinafortnighttothegrandestheiressinEngland，andhadonlyimmediateoccasionatpresentforL200，ashewouldnotchoosetotouchhislady’sfortunefortravellingexpenseshometoCastleRackrent，whereheintendedtobe，windandweatherpermitting，earlyinthenextmonth;anddesiredfires，andthehousetobepainted，andthenewbuildingtogoonasfastaspossible，forthereceptionofhimandhisladybeforethattime;withseveralwordsbesidesintheletter，whichwecouldnotmakeoutbecause，Godblesshim！hewroteinsuchaflurry。MyheartwarmedtomynewladywhenIreadthis：
Iwasalmostafraiditwastoogoodnewstobetrue;butthegirlsfelltoscouring，anditwaswelltheydid，forwesoonsawhismarriageinthepaper，toaladywithIdon’tknowhowmanytensofthousandpoundstoherfortune：thenIwatchedthepost-
officeforhislanding;andthenewscametomysonofhisandthebridebeinginDublin，andonthewayhometoCastleRackrent。Wehadbonfiresalloverthecountry，expectinghimdownthenextday，andwehadhiscomingofagestilltocelebrate，whichhehadnottimetodoproperlybeforeheleftthecountry;therefore，agreatballwasexpected，andgreatdoingsuponhiscoming，asitwere，freshtotakepossessionofhisancestors’estate。Inevershallforgetthedayhecamehome;wehadwaitedandwaitedalldaylongtilleleveno’clockatnight，andIwasthinkingofsendingtheboytolockthegates，andgivingthemupforthatnight，whentherecamethecarriagesthunderinguptothegreathalldoor。Igotthefirstsightofthebride;forwhenthecarriagedooropened，justasshehadherfootonthesteps，Iheldtheflamfullinherfacetolighther[SeeGLOSSARY19]，atwhichsheshuthereyes，butI
hadafullviewoftherestofher，andgreatlyshockedIwas，forbythatlightshewaslittlebetterthanablackamoor，andseemedcrippled;butthatwasonlysittingsolonginthechariot。
’You’rekindlywelcometoCastleRackrent，mylady，’saysI
（recollectingwhoshewas）。’Didyourhonourhearofthebonfires？’
Hishonourspokeneveraword，norsomuchashandedherupthesteps——helookedtomenomorelikehimselfthannothingatall;
IknowItookhimfortheskeletonofhishonour。Iwasnotsurewhattosaynexttooneort’other，butseeingshewasastrangerinaforeigncountry，Ithoughtitbutrighttospeakcheerfultoher;soIwentbackagaintothebonfires。
’Mylady，’saysI，asshecrossedthehall，’therewouldhavebeenfiftytimesasmany;butforfearofthehorses，andfrighteningyourladyship，JasonandIforbidthem，pleaseyourhonour。’
Withthatshelookedatmealittlebewildered。
’WillIhaveafirelightedinthestate-roomto-night？’wasthenextquestionIputtoher，butneverawordsheanswered;soI
concludedshecouldnotspeakawordofEnglish，andwasfromforeignparts。Theshortandthelongofitwas，Icouldn’ttellwhattomakeofher;soIlefthertoherself，andwentstraightdowntotheservants’halltolearnsomethingforcertainabouther。SirKit’sownmanwastired，butthegroomsethima-talkingatlast，andwehaditalloutbeforeeverIclosedmyeyesthatnight。Thebridemightwellbeagreatfortune——shewasaJEWISHbyallaccounts，whoarefamousfortheirgreatriches。Ihadneverseenanyofthattribeornationbefore，andcouldonlygatherthatshespokeastrangekindofEnglishofherown，thatshecouldnotabideporkorsausages，andwentneithertochurchormass。Mercyuponhishonour’spoorsoul，thoughtI;
whatwillbecomeofhimandhis，andallofus，withhishereticblackamoorattheheadoftheCastleRackrentestate？Ineversleptawinkallnightforthinkingofit;butbeforetheservantsIputmypipeinmymouth，andkeptmymindtomyself，forIhadagreatregardforthefamily;andafterthis，whenstrangegentlemen’sservantscametothehouse，andwouldbegintotalkaboutthebride，Itookcaretoputthebestfootforemost，andpassedherforanabobinthekitchen，whichaccountedforherdarkcomplexionandeverything。
Theverymorningaftertheycamehome，however，IsawplainenoughhowthingswerebetweenSirKitandmylady，thoughtheywerewalkingtogetherarminarmafterbreakfast，lookingatthenewbuildingandtheimprovements。
’OldThady，’saidmymaster，justasheusedtodo，’howdoyoudo？’
’Verywell，Ithankyourhonour’shonour，’saidI;butIsawhewasnotwellpleased，andmyheartwasinmymouthasIwalkedalongafterhim。
’Isthelargeroomdamp，Thady？~saidhishonour。
’Ohdamp，yourhonour！howshoulditbebutasdryasabone，’
saysI，’afterallthefireswehavekeptinitdayandnight？
It’sthebarrack-roomyourhonour’stalkingon[SeeGLOSSARY
20]。’
’Andwhatisabarrack-room，pray，mydear？’werethefirstwordsIeverheardoutofmylady’slips。
’Nomatter，mydear，’saidhe，andwentontalkingtome，ashamed-likeIshouldwitnessherignorance。Tobesure，tohearhertalkonemighthavetakenherforaninnocent[SeeGLOSSARY
21]，foritwas，’What’sthis，SirKit？andwhat’sthat，SirKit？’allthewaywewent。Tobesure，SirKithadenoughtodotoanswerher。
’Andwhatdoyoucallthat，SirKit？’saidshe;’that——thatlookslikeapileofblackbricks，pray，SirKit？’
’Myturf-stack，mydear，’saidmymaster，andbithislip。
Wherehaveyoulived，mylady，allyourlife，nottoknowaturf-
stackwhenyouseeit？thoughtI;butIsaidnothing。Thenbyandbyshetakesoutherglass，andbeginsspyingoverthecountry。
’Andwhat’sallthatblackswampoutyonder，SirKit？’saysshe。
’Mybog，mydear，’sayshe，andwentonwhistling。
’It’saveryuglyprospect，mydear，’saysshe。
’Youdon’tseeit，mydear，’sayshe，’forwe’veplanteditout;
whenthetreesgrowupinsummer-time——’sayshe。
’Wherearethetrees，’saidshe，’mydear？’stilllookingthroughherglass。
’Youareblind，mydear，’sayshe;’whataretheseunderyoureyes？’
’Theseshrubs？’saidshe。
’Trees，’saidhe。
’MaybetheyarewhatyoucalltreesinIreland，mydear，’saidshe;’buttheyarenotayardhigh，arethey？’
’Theywereplantedoutbutlastyear，mylady，’saysI，tosoftenmattersbetweenthem，forIsawshewasgoingthewaytomakehishonourmadwithher：’theyareverywellgrownfortheirage，andyou’llnotseethebogofAllyballycarrick-o’shaughlinat-
all-at-allthroughtheskreen，whenoncetheleavescomeout。
But，mylady，youmustnotquarrelwithanypartorparcelofAllyballycarricko’shaughlin，foryoudon’tknowhowmanyhundredyearsthatsamebitofboghasbeeninthefamily;wewouldnotpartwiththebogofAllyballycarricko’shaughlinuponnoaccountatall;itcostthelateSirMurtaghtwohundredgoodpoundstodefendhistitletoitandboundariesagainsttheO’Learys，whocutaroadthroughit。’
Nowonewouldhavethoughtthiswouldhavebeenhintenoughformylady，butshefelltolaughinglikeoneoutoftheirrightmind，andmademesaythenameofthebogover，forhertogetitbyheart，adozentimes;thenshemustaskmehowtospellit，andwhatwasthemeaningofitinEnglish——SirKitstandingbywhistlingallthewhile。Iverilybelievedshelaidthecorner-
stoneofallherfuturemisfortunesatthatveryinstant;butI
saidnomore，onlylookedatSirKit。
Therewerenoballs，nodinners，nodoings;thecountrywasalldisappointed——SirKit’sgentlemansaidinawhispertome，itwasallmylady’sownfault，becauseshewassoobstinateaboutthecross。
’Whatcross？’saysI;’isitaboutherbeingaheretic？’
’Oh，nosuchmatter，’sayshe;’mymasterdoesnotmindherheresies，butherdiamondcrossit’sworthIcan’ttellyouhowmuch，andshehasthousandsofEnglishpoundsconcealedindiamondsabouther，whichsheasgoodaspromisedtogiveuptomymasterbeforehemarried;butnowshewon’tpartwithanyofthem，andshemusttaketheconsequences。’
Herhoneymoon，atleastherIrishhoneymoon，wasscarcelywellover，whenhishonouronemorningsaidtome，’Thady，buymeapig！’andthenthesausageswereordered，andherewasthefirstopenbreaking-outofmylady’stroubles。Myladycamedownherselfintothekitchentospeaktothecookaboutthesausages，anddesirednevertoseethemmoreathertable。Nowmymasterhadorderedthem，andmyladyknewthat。Thecooktookmylady’spart，becauseshenevercamedownintothekitchen，andwasyoungandinnocentinhousekeeping，whichraisedherpity;besides，saidshe，atherowntable，surelymyladyshouldorderanddisorderwhatshepleases。Butthecooksoonchangedhernote，formymastermadeitaprincipletohavethesausages，andsworeatherforaJewherself，tillhedroveherfairlyoutofthekitchen;then，forfearofherplace，andbecausehethreatenedthatmyladyshouldgivehernodischargewithoutthesausages，shegaveup，andfromthatdayforwardalwayssausages，orbacon，orpig-meatinsomeshapeorother，wentuptotable;uponwhichmyladyshutherselfupinherownroom，andmymastersaidshemightstaythere，withanoath：andtomakesureofher，heturnedthekeyinthedoor，andkeptiteverafterinhispocket。
Wenoneofuseversaworheardherspeakforsevenyearsafterthat：hecarriedherdinnerhimself。
[ThispartofthehistoryoftheRackrentfamilycanscarcelybethoughtcredible;butinjusticetohonestThady，itishopedthereaderwillrecollectthehistoryofthecelebratedLadyCathcart’sconjugalimprisonment。TheeditorwasacquaintedwithColonelM’Guire，LadyCathcart’shusband;hehaslatelyseenandquestionedthemaid-servantwholivedwithColonelM’GuireduringthetimeofLadyCathcart’simprisonment。Herladyshipwaslockedupinherownhouseformanyyears，duringwhichperiodherhusbandwasvisitedbytheneighbouringgentry，anditwashisregularcustomatdinnertosendhiscomplimentstoLadyCathcart，informingherthatthecompanyhadthehonourtodrinkherladyship’shealth，andbeggingtoknowwhethertherewasanythingattablethatshewouldliketoeat？Theanswerwasalways，’LadyCathcart’scompliments，andshehaseverythingshewants。’AninstanceofhonestyinapoorIrishwomandeservestoberecorded。LadyCathcarthadsomeremarkablyfinediamonds，whichshehadconcealedfromherhusband，andwhichshewasanxioustogetoutofthehouse，lestheshoulddiscoverthem。
Shehadneitherservantnorfriendtowhomshecouldentrustthem，butshehadobservedapoorbeggarwoman，whousedtocometothehouse;shespoketoherfromthewindowoftheroominwhichshewasconfined;thewomanpromisedtodowhatshedesired，andLadyCathcartthrewaparcelcontainingthejewelstoher。Thepoorwomancarriedthemtothepersontowhomtheyweredirected，andseveralyearsafterwards，whenLadyCathcartrecoveredherliberty，shereceivedherdiamondssafely。
AtColonelM’Guire’sdeathherladyshipwasreleased。Theeditor，withinthisyear，sawthegentlemanwhoaccompaniedhertoEnglandafterherhusband’sdeath。Whenshefirstwastoldofhisdeathsheimaginedthatthenewswasnottrue，andthatitwastoldonlywithanintentionofdeceivingher。Athisdeathshehadscarcelyclothessufficienttocoverher;sheworearedwig，lookedscared，andherunderstandingseemedstupefied;shesaidthatshescarcelyknewonehumancreaturefromanother;herimprisonmentlastedabovetwentyyears。ThesecircumstancesmayappearstrangetoanEnglishreader;butthereisnodangerinthepresenttimesthatanyindividualshouldexercisesuchtyrannyasColonelM’Guire’swithimpunity，thepowerbeingnowallinthehandsofGovernment，andtherebeingnopossibilityofobtainingfromParliamentanActofindemnityforanycruelties。]
Thenhishonourhadagreatdealofcompanytodinewithhim，andballsinthehouse，andwasasgayandgallant，andasmuchhimselfasbeforehewasmarried;andatdinnerhealwaysdrankmyLadyRackrent’sgoodhealthandsodidthecompany，andhesentoutalwaysaservantwithhiscomplimentstomyLadyRackrent，andthecompanywasdrinkingherladyship’shealth，andbeggedtoknowiftherewasanythingattablehemightsendher，andthemancameback，aftertheshamerrand，withmyLadyRackrent’scompliments，andshewasverymuchobligedtoSirKit——shedidnotwishforanything，butdrankthecompany’shealth。
Thecountry，tobesure，talkedandwonderedatmylady’sbeingshutup，butnobodychosetointerfereoraskanyimpertinentquestions，fortheyknewmymasterwasamanveryapttogiveashortanswerhimself，andlikelytocallamanoutforitafterwards：hewasafamousshot，hadkilledhismanbeforehecameofage，andnobodyscarcedaredlookathimwhilstatBath。
SirKit’scharacterwassowellknowninthecountrythathelivedinpeaceandquietnesseverafter，andwasagreatfavouritewiththeladies，especiallywheninprocessoftime，inthefifthyearofherconfinement，myLadyRackrentfellillandtookentirelytoherbed，andhegaveoutthatshewasnowskinandbone，andcouldnotlastthroughthewinter。Inthishehadtwophysicians’opinionstobackhim（fornowhecalledintwophysiciansforher），andtriedallhisartstogetthediamondcrossfromheronherdeath-bed，andtogethertomakeawillinhisfavourofherseparatepossessions;butthereshewastootoughforhim。Heusedtoswearatherbehindherbackafterkneelingtoherface，andcallherinthepresenceofhisgentlemanhisstiff-neckedIsraelite，thoughbeforehemarriedherthatsamegentlemantoldmeheusedtocallher（howhecouldbringitout，Idon’tknow）’myprettyJessica！’Tobesureitmusthavebeenhardforhertoguesswhatsortofahusbandhereckonedtomakeher。Whenshewaslying，toallexpectation，onherdeath-bedofabrokenheart，Icouldnotbutpityher，thoughshewasaJewish，andconsideringtooitwasnofaultofherstobetakenwithmymaster，soyoungasshewasattheBath，andsofineagentlemanasSirKitwaswhenhecourtedher;andconsideringtoo，afteralltheyhadheardandseenofhimasahusband，therewerenownolessthanthreeladiesinourcountytalkedofforhissecondwife，allatdaggersdrawnwitheachother，ashisgentlemanswore，attheballs，forSirKitfortheirpartner——Icouldnotbutthinkthembewitched，buttheyallreasonedwiththemselvesthatSirKitwouldmakeagoodhusbandtoanyChristianbutaJewish，Isuppose，andespeciallyashewasnowareformedrake;anditwasnotknownhowmylady’sfortunewassettledinherwill，norhowtheCastleRackrentestatewasallmortgaged，andbondsoutagainsthim，forhewasnevercuredofhisgamingtricks;butthatwastheonlyfaulthehad，Godblesshim！
Myladyhadasortoffit，anditwasgivenoutthatshewasdead，bymistake：thisbroughtthingstoasadcrisisformypoormaster。Oneofthethreeladiesshowedhisletterstoherbrother，andclaimedhispromises，whilstanotherdidthesame。
Idon’tmentionnames。SirKit，inhisdefence，saidhewouldmeetanymanwhodaredtoquestionhisconduct;andastotheladies，theymustsettleitamongstthemwhowastobehissecond，andhisthird，andhisfourth，whilsthisfirstwasstillalive，tohismortificationandtheirs。Uponthis，asuponallformeroccasions，hehadthevoiceofthecountrywithhim，onaccountofthegreatspiritandproprietyheactedwith。Hemetandshotthefirstlady’sbrother：thenextdayhecalledoutthesecond，whohadawoodenleg，andtheirplaceofmeetingbyappointmentbeinginanew-ploughedfield，thewooden-legmanstuckfastinit。SirKit，seeinghissituation，withgreatcandourfiredhispistoloverhishead;uponwhichthesecondsinterposed，andconvincedthepartiestherehadbeenaslightmisunderstandingbetweenthem：thereupontheyshookhandscordially，andwenthometodinnertogether。Thisgentleman，toshowtheworldhowtheystoodtogether，andbytheadviceofthefriendsofbothparties，tore-establishhissister’sinjuredreputation，wentoutwithSirKitashissecond，andcarriedhismessagenextdaytothelastofhisadversaries：Ineversawhiminsuchfinespiritsasthatdayhewentout——sureenoughhewaswithinames-aceofgettingquithandsomelyofallhisenemies;
butunluckily，afterhittingthetoothpickoutofhisadversary’sfingerandthumb，hereceivedaballinavitalpart，andwasbroughthome，inlittlebetterthananhouraftertheaffair，speechlessonahand-barrowtomylady。Wegotthekeyoutofhispocketthefirstthingwedid，andmysonJasonrantounlockthebarrack-room，wheremyladyhadbeenshutupforsevenyears，toacquaintherwiththefatalaccident。Thesurprisebereavedherofhersensesatfirst，norwouldshebelievebutwewereputtingsomenewtrickuponher，toentrapheroutofherjewels，foragreatwhile，tillJasonbethoughthimselfoftakinghertothewindow，andshowedherthemenbringingSirKituptheavenueuponthehand-barrow，whichhadimmediatelythedesiredeffect;
fordirectlysheburstintotears，andpullinghercrossfromherbosom，shekisseditwithasgreatdevotionaseverIwitnessed，andliftinguphereyestoheaven，utteredsomeejaculation，whichnonepresentheard;butItakethesenseofittobe，shereturnedthanksforthisunexpectedinterpositioninherfavourwhenshehadleastreasontoexpectit。Mymasterwasgreatlylamented：therewasnolifeinhimwhenweliftedhimoffthebarrow，sohewaslaidoutimmediately，and’waked’thesamenight。Thecountrywasallinanuproarabouthim，andnotasoulbutcriedshameuponhismurderer，whowouldhavebeenhangedsurely，ifhecouldhavebeenbroughttohistrial，whilstthegentlemeninthecountrywereupaboutit;butheveryprudentlywithdrewhimselftotheContinentbeforetheaffairwasmadepublic。Asfortheyoungladywhowastheimmediatecauseofthefatalaccident，howeverinnocently，shecouldnevershowherheadafterattheballsinthecountyoranyplace;andbytheadviceofherfriendsandphysicians，shewasorderedsoonaftertoBath，whereitwasexpected，ifanywhereonthissideofthegrave，shewouldmeetwiththerecoveryofherhealthandlostpeaceofmind。Asaproofofhisgreatpopularity，Ineedonlyaddthattherewasasongmadeuponmymaster’suntimelydeathinthenewspapers，whichwasineverybody’smouth，singingupanddownthroughthecountry，evendowntothemountains，onlythreedaysafterhisunhappyexit。HewasalsogreatlybemoanedattheCurragh[SeeGLOSSARY22]，wherehiscattlewerewellknown;andallwhohadtakenuphisbetswereparticularlyinconsolableforhislosstosociety。Hisstudsoldatthecantatthegreatestpriceeverknowninthecounty[SeeGLOSSARY23];
hisfavouritehorseswerechieflydisposedofamongsthisparticularfriends，whowouldgiveanypriceforthemforhissake;butnoreadymoneywasrequiredbythenewheir，whowishednottodispleaseanyofthegentlemenoftheneighbourhoodjustuponhiscomingtosettleamongstthem;soalongcreditwasgivenwhererequisite，andthecashhasneverbeengatheredinfromthatdaytothis。
Buttoreturntomylady。Shegotsurprisinglywellaftermymaster’sdecease。Nosoonerwasitknownforcertainthathewasdead，thanallthegentlemenwithintwentymilesofuscameinabody，asitwere，tosetmyladyatliberty，andtoprotestagainstherconfinement，whichtheynowforthefirsttimeunderstoodwasagainstherownconsent。Theladiestoowereasattentiveaspossible，strivingwhoshouldbeforemostwiththeirmorningvisits;andtheythatsawthediamondsspokeveryhandsomelyofthem，butthoughtitapitytheywerenotbestowed，ifithadsopleasedGod，uponaladywhowouldhavebecomethembetter。Allthesecivilitieswroughtlittlewithmylady，forshehadtakenanunaccountableprejudiceagainstthecountry，andeverythingbelongingtoit，andwassopartialtohernativeland，thatafterpartingwiththecook，whichshedidimmediatelyuponmymaster’sdecease，Ineverknewhereasyoneinstant，nightorday，butwhenshewaspackinguptoleaveus。HadshemeanttomakeanystayinIreland，Istoodagreatchanceofbeingagreatfavouritewithher;forwhenshefoundIunderstoodtheweathercock，shewasalwaysfindingsomepretencetobetalkingtome，andaskingmewhichwaythewindblew，andwasitlikely，didIthink，tocontinuefairforEngland。ButwhenI
sawshehadmadeuphermindtospendtherestofherdaysuponherownincomeandjewelsinEngland，Iconsideredherquiteasaforeigner，andnotatallanylongeraspartofthefamily。ShegavenovailstotheservantsatCastleRackrentatparting，notwithstandingtheoldproverbof’asrichasaJew，’whichshe，beingaJewish，theybuiltuponwithreason。Butfromfirsttolastshebroughtnothingbutmisfortunesamongstus;andifithadnotbeenallalongwithher，hishonour，SirKit，wouldhavebeennowaliveinallappearance。Herdiamondcrosswas，theysay，atthebottomofitall;anditwasashameforher，beinghiswife，nottoshowmoreduty，andtohavegivenitupwhenhecondescendedtoasksooftenforsuchabitofatrifleinhisdistresses，especiallywhenheallalongmadeitnosecrethemarriedformoney。Butwewillnotbestowanotherthoughtuponher。ThismuchIthoughtitlayuponmyconsciencetosay，injusticetomypoormaster’smemory。
’Tisanillwindthatblowsnobodynogood：thesamewindthattooktheJewLadyRackrentovertoEnglandbroughtoverthenewheirtoCastleRackrent。
Hereletmepauseforbreathinmystory，forthoughIhadagreatregardforeverymemberofthefamily，yetwithoutcompareSirConolly，commonlycalled，forshort，amongsthisfriends，SirCondyRackrent，wasevermygreatfavourite，and，indeed，themostuniversallybelovedmanIhadeverseenorheardof，notexceptinghisgreatancestorSirPatrick，towhosememoryhe，amongstotherinstancesofgenerosity，erectedahandsomemarblestoneinthechurchofCastleRackrent，settingforthinlargelettershisage，birth，parentage，andmanyothervirtues，concludingwiththecomplimentsojustlydue，that’SirPatrickRackrentlivedanddiedamonumentofoldIrishhospitality。’
CONTINUATIONOFTHEMEMOIRSOFTHERACKRENTFAMILY
HISTORYOFSIRCONOLLYRACKRENT
SirCondyRackrent，bythegraceofGodheir-at-lawtotheCastleRackrentestate，wasaremotebranchofthefamily。Borntolittleornofortuneofhisown，hewasbredtothebar，atwhich，havingmanyfriendstopushhimandnomeannaturalabilitiesofhisown，hedoubtlesswouldinprocessoftime，ifhecouldhavebornethedrudgeryofthatstudy，havebeenrapidlymadeKing’sCounselattheleast;butthingsweredisposedofotherwise，andheneverwentthecircuitbuttwice，andthenmadenofigureforwantofafee，andbeingunabletospeakinpublic。
HereceivedhiseducationchieflyinthecollegeofDublin，butbeforehecametoyearsofdiscretionlivedinthecountry，inasmallbutslatedhousewithinviewoftheendoftheavenue。I
rememberhim，barefootedandheaded，runningthroughthestreetofO’Shaughlin’sTown，andplayingatpitch-and-toss，ball，marbles，andwhatnot，withtheboysofthetown，amongstwhommysonJasonwasagreatfavouritewithhim。Asforme，hewasevermywhite-headedboy：often’sthetime，whenIwouldcallinathisfather’s，whereIwasalwaysmadewelcome，hewouldslipdowntomeinthekitchen，and，lovetositonmykneewhilstItoldhimstoriesofthefamilyandthebloodfromwhichhewassprung，andhowhemightlookforward，ifthethenpresentmanshoulddiewithoutchilder，tobeingattheheadoftheCastleRackrentestate。Thiswasthenspokequiteandclearatrandomtopleasethechild，butitpleasedHeaventoaccomplishmyprophecyafterwards，whichgavehimagreatopinionofmyjudgmentinbusiness。Hewenttoalittlegrammar-schoolwithmanyothers，andmysonamongsttherest，whowasinhisclass，andnotalittleusefultohiminhisbook-learning，whichheacknowledgedwithgratitudeeverafter。Theserudimentsofhiseducationthuscompleted，hegota-horseback，towhichexercisehewaseveraddicted，andusedtogallopoverthecountrywhileyetbutaslipofaboy，underthecareofSirKit’shuntsman，whowasveryfondofhim，andoftenlenthimhisgun，andtookhimouta-shootingunderhisowneye。Bythesemeanshebecamewellacquaintedandpopularamongstthepoorintheneighbourhoodearly，fortherewasnotacabinatwhichhehadnotstoppedsomemorningorother，alongwiththehuntsman，todrinkaglassofburntwhiskyoutofaneggshell，todohimgoodandwarmhisheartanddrivethecoldoutofhisstomach。TheoldpeoplealwaystoldhimhewasagreatlikenessofSirPatrick，whichmadehimfirsthaveanambitiontotakeafterhim，asfarashisfortuneshouldallow。Heleftuswhenofanagetoenterthecollege，andtherecompletedhiseducationandnineteenthyear，forashewasnotborntoanestate，hisfriendsthoughtitincumbentonthemtogivehimthebesteducationwhichcouldbehadforloveormoney，andagreatdealofmoneyconsequentlywasspentuponhimatCollegeandTemple。Hewasaverylittlealteredfortheworsebywhathesawthereofthegreatworld，forwhenhecamedownintothecountrytopayusavisit，wethoughthimjustthesamemanasever——handandglovewitheveryone，andasfarfromhigh，thoughnotwithouthisownpropershareoffamilypride，asanymaneveryousee。Latterly，seeinghowSirKitandtheJewishlivedtogether，andthattherewasnoonebetweenhimandtheCastleRackrentestate，heneglectedtoapplytothelawasmuchaswasexpectedofhim，andsecretlymanyofthetenantsandothersadvancedhimcashuponhisnoteofhandvaluereceived，promisingbargainsofleasesandlawfulinterest，shouldheevercomeintotheestate。Allthiswaskeptagreatsecretforfearthepresentman，hearingofit，shouldtakeitintohisheadtotakeitillofpoorCondy，andsoshouldcuthimoffforeverbylevyingafine，andsufferingarecoverytodocktheentail[SeeGLOSSARY24]。SirMurtaghwouldhavebeenthemanforthat;butSirKitwastoomuchtakenupphilanderingtoconsiderthelawinthiscase，oranyother。
ThesepracticesIhavementionedtoaccountforthestateofhisaffairs——ImeanSirCondy’suponhiscomingintotheCastleRackrentestate。Hecouldnotcommandapennyofhisfirstyear’sincome，which，andkeepingnoaccounts，andthegreatsightofcompanyhedid，withmanyothercausestoonumeroustomention，wastheoriginofhisdistresses。MysonJason，whowasnowestablishedagent，andkneweverything，explainedmattersoutofthefacetoSirConolly，andmadehimsensibleofhisembarrassedsituation。Withagreatnominalrent-roll，itwasalmostallpaidawayininterest;whichbeingforconveniencesufferedtorunon，soondoubledtheprincipal，andSirCondywasobligedtopassnewbondsfortheinterest，nowgrownprincipal，andsoon。Whilstthiswasgoingon，mysonrequiringtobepaidforhistroubleandmanyyears’serviceinthefamilygratis，andSirCondynotwillingtotakehisaffairsintohisownhands，ortolookthemevenintheface，hegavemysonabargainofsomeacreswhichfelloutofleaseatareasonablerent。Jasonsettheland，assoonashisleasewassealed，tounder-tenants，tomaketherent，andgottwohundredayearprofitrent;whichwaslittleenoughconsideringhislongagency。Heboughtthelandattwelveyears’purchasetwoyearsafterwards，whenSirCondywaspushedformoneyonanexecution，andwasatthesametimeallowedforhisimprovementsthereon。Therewasasortofhunting-lodgeupontheestate，convenienttomysonJason’sland，whichhehadhiseyeuponaboutthistime;andhewasalittlejealousofSirCondy，whotalkedofsettingittoastrangerwhowasjustcomeintothecountry——CaptainMoneygawlwastheman。
HewassonandheirtotheMoneygawlsofMountJuliet’sTown，whohadagreatestateinthenextcountytoours;andmymasterwaslothtodisobligetheyounggentleman，whoseheartwassetupontheLodge;sohewrotehimbackthattheLodgewasathisservice，andifhewouldhonourhimwithhiscompanyatCastleRackrent，theycouldrideovertogethersomemorningandlookatitbeforesigningthelease。Accordingly，thecaptaincameovertous，andheandSirCondygrewthegreatestfriendseveryousee，andwereforeverouta-shootingorhuntingtogether，andwereverymerryintheevenings;andSirCondywasinvitedofcoursetoMountJuliet’sTown;andthefamilyintimacythathadbeeninSirPatrick’stimewasnowrecollected，andnothingwouldserveSirCondybuthemustbethreetimesaweekattheleastwithhisnewfriends，whichgrievedme，whoknew，bythecaptain’sgroomandgentleman，howtheytalkedofhimatMountJuliet’sTown，makinghimquite，asonemaysay，alaughing-stockandabuttforthewholecompany;buttheyweresooncuredofthatbyanaccidentthatsurprised’emnotalittle，asitdidme。Therewasabitofascrawlfounduponthewaiting-maidofoldMr。Moneygawl’syoungestdaughter，MissIsabella，thatlaidopenthewhole;andherfather，theysay，waslikeoneoutofhisrightmind，andsworeitwasthelastthingheevershouldhavethoughtof，whenheinvitedmymastertohishouse，thathisdaughtershouldthinkofsuchamatch。Buttheirtalksignifiednotastraw，forasMissIsabella’smaidreported，heryoungmistresswasfallenoverheadandearsinlovewithSirCondyfromthefirsttimethateverherbrotherbroughthimintothehousetodinner。Theservantwhowaitedthatdaybehindmymaster’schairwasthefirstwhoknewit，ashesays;thoughit’shardtobelievehim，forhedidnottellittillagreatwhileafterwards;but，however，it’slikelyenough，asthethingturnedout，thathewasnotfaroutoftheway，fortowardsthemiddleofdinner，ashesays，theyweretalkingofstage-plays，havingaplayhouse，andbeinggreatplay-actorsatMountJuliet’sTown;
andMissIsabellaturnsshorttomymaster，andsays：
’Haveyouseentheplay-bill，SirCondy？’
’No，Ihavenot，’saidhe。
’Thenmoreshameforyou，’saidthecaptainherbrother，’nottoknowthatmysisteristoplayJulietto-night，whoplaysitbetterthananywomanonoroffthestageinallIreland。’
’Iamveryhappytohearit，’saidSirCondy;andtherethematterdroppedforthepresent。
ButSirCondyallthistime，andagreatwhileafterwards，wasataterriblenonplus;forhehadnoliking，nothe，tostage-plays，nortoMissIsabellaeither——tohismind，asitcameoutoverabowlofwhisky-punchathome，hislittleJudyM’Quirk，whowasdaughtertoasister’ssonofmine，wasworthtwentyofMissIsabella。Hehadseenheroftenwhenhestoppedatherfather’scabintodrinkwhiskyoutoftheeggshell，outhunting，beforehecametotheestate，and，asshegaveout，wasundersomethinglikeapromiseofmarriagetoher。Anyhow，Icouldnotbutpitymypoormaster，whowassobotheredbetweenthem，andheaneasy-
heartedman，thatcouldnotdisobligenobody——Godblesshim！Tobesure，itwasnothisplacetobehaveungeneroustoMissIsabella，whohaddisobligedallherrelationsforhissake，asheremarked;andthenshewaslockedupinherchamber，andforbidtothinkofhimanymore，whichraisedhisspirit，becausehisfamilywas，asheobserved，asgoodastheirsatanyrate，andtheRackrentsasuitablematchfortheMoneygawlsanydayintheyear;allwhichwastrueenough。Butitgrievedmetoseethat，uponthestrengthofallthis，SirCondywasgrowingmoreinthemindtocarryoffMissIsabellatoScotland，inspiteofherrelations，asshedesired。
’It’salloverwithourpoorJudy！’saidI，withaheavysigh，makingboldtospeaktohimonenightwhenhewasalittlecheerful，andstandingintheservants’hallallalonewithmeaswasoftenhiscustom。
’Notatall，’saidhe;’IneverwasfonderofJudythanatthispresentspeaking;andtoproveittoyou，’saidhe——andhetookfrommyhandahalfpennychangethatIhadjustgotalongwithmytobacco——’andtoproveittoyou，Thady，’sayshe，’it’satoss-
upwithmewhichIshouldmarrythisminute，herorMr。MoneygawlofMountJuliet’sTown’sdaughter——soitis。’
Oh-boo！boo！’[Boo！Boo！——anexclamationequivalenttoPSHAWorNONSENSE]saysI，makinglightofit，toseewhathewouldgoontonext;’yourhonour’sjoking，tobesure;there’snocomparebetweenourpoorJudyandMissIsabella，whohasagreatfortune，theysay。’
’I’mnotamantomindafortune，norneverwas，’saidSirCondy，proudly，’whateverherfriendsmaysay;andtomakeshortofit，’
sayshe，’I’mcometoadeterminationuponthespot。’Withthathesworesuchaterribleoathasmademecrossmyself。’Andbythisbook，’saidhe，snatchingupmyballad-book，mistakingitformyprayer-book，whichlayinthewindow，——’andbythisbook，’
sayshe，’andbyallthebooksthateverwereshutandopened，it’scometoatoss-upwithme，andI’llstandorfallbythetoss;andsoThady，handmeoverthatpin[PIN，readPEN。——ItformerlywasvulgarlypronouncedPINinIreland]outoftheink-horn;’andhemakesacrossonthesmoothsideofthehalfpenny;’JudyM’Quirk，’sayshe，’hermark。’
[HERMARK。——ItwasthecustominIrelandforthosewhocouldnotwritetomakeacrosstostandfortheirsignature，aswasformerlythepracticeofourEnglishmonarchs。TheEditorinsertsthefacsimileofanIrishmark，whichmayhereafterbevaluabletoajudiciousantiquary——
HerJudyXM’Quirk，Mark。
Inbondsornotessignedinthismannerawitnessisrequisite，asthenameisfrequentlywrittenbyhimorher。]
Godblesshim！hishandwasalittleunsteadiedbyallthewhisky-punchhehadtaken，butitwasplaintoseehisheartwasforpoorJudy。MyheartwasallasoneasinmymouthwhenIsawthehalfpennyupintheair，butIsaidnothingatall;andwhenitcamedownIwasgladIhadkeptmyselftomyself，fortobesurenowitwasalloverwithpoorJudy。
’Judy’soutaluck，’saidI，strivingtolaugh。
’I’moutaluck，’saidhe;andIneversawamanlooksocastdown：hetookupthehalfpennyofftheflag，andwalkedawayquitesober-likebytheshock。Now，thoughaseasyaman，youwouldthink，asanyinthewideworld，therewasnosuchthingasmakinghimunsayoneofthesesortofvows，whichhehadlearnedtoreverencewhenyoung，asIwellrememberteachinghimtotossupforbog-berriesonmyknee。[VOWS。——IthasbeenmaliciouslyandunjustlyhintedthatthelowerclassesofthepeopleofIrelandpaybutlittleregardtooaths;yetitiscertainthatsomeoathsorvowshavegreatpowerovertheirminds。Sometimestheysweartheywillberevengedonsomeoftheirneighbours;
thisisanoaththattheyareneverknowntobreak。But，whatisinfinitelymoreextraordinaryandunaccountable，theysometimesmakeandkeepavowagainstwhisky;thesevowsareusuallylimitedtoashorttime。Awomanwhohasadrunkenhusbandismostfortunateifshecanprevailuponhimtogotothepriest，andmakeavowagainstwhiskyforayear，oramonth，oraweek，oraday。]SoIsawtheaffairwasasgoodassettledbetweenhimandMissIsabella，andIhadnomoretosaybuttowishherjoy，whichIdidtheweekafterwards，uponherreturnfromScotlandwithmypoormaster。
Mynewladywasyoung，asmightbesupposedofaladythathadbeencarriedoffbyherownconsenttoScotland;butIcouldonlyseeheratfirstthroughherveil，which，frombashfulnessorfashion，shekeptoverherface。
’AndamItowalkthroughallthiscrowdofpeople，mydearestlove？’saidshetoSirCondy，meaningusservantsandtenants，whohadgatheredatthebackgate。
’Mydear，’saidSirCondy，’there’snothingforitbuttowalk，ortoletmecarryyouasfarasthehouse，foryouseethebackroadistoonarrowforacarriage，andthegreatpiershavetumbleddownacrossthefrontapproach;sothere’snodrivingtherightway，byreasonoftheruins。’
’Plato，thoureasonestwell！’saidshe，orwordstothateffect，whichIcouldnowaysunderstand;andagain，whenherfootstumbledagainstabrokenbitofacar-wheel，shecriedout，’Angelsandministersofgracedefendus！’Well，thoughtI，tobesure，ifshe’snoJewish，likethelast，sheisamadwomanforcertain，whichisasbad：itwouldhavebeenaswellformypoormastertohavetakenupwithpoorJudy，whoisinherrightmindanyhow。
Shewasdressedlikeamadwoman，moreover，morethanlikeanyoneIeversawaforeorsince，andIcouldnottakemyeyesoffher，butstillfollowedbehindher;andherfeathersonthetopofherhatwerebrokegoinginatthelowbackdoorandshepulledoutherlittlebottleoutofherpockettosmellwhenshefoundherselfinthekitchen，andsaid，’Ishallfaintwiththeheatofthisodious，odiousplace。’
’Mydear，it’sonlythreestepsacrossthekitchen，andthere’safineairifyourveilwasup，’saidSirCondy;andwiththatthrewbackherveil，sothatIhadthenafullsightofherface。
Shehadnotatallthecolourofonegoingtofaint，butafinecomplexionofherown，asIthentookittobe，thoughhermaidtoldmeafteritwasallputon;buteven，complexionandalltakenin，shewasnoway，inpointofgoodlooks，tocomparetopoorJudy，andwithalshehadaqualitytosswithher;butmaybeitwasmyover-partialitytoJudy，intowhoseplaceImaysayshestepped，thatmademenoticeallthis。
Todoherjustice，however，shewas，whenwecametoknowherbetter，veryliberalinherhousekeeping——nothingatalloftheskinflintinher;shelefteverythingtothehousekeeper，andherownmaid，Mrs。Jane，whowentwithhertoScotland，gaveherthebestofcharactersforgenerosity。Sheseldomoreverworeathingtwicethesameway，Mrs。Janetoldus，andwasalwayspullingherthingstopiecesandgivingthemaway，neverbeingused，inherfather’shouse，tothinkofexpenseinanything;andshereckonedtobesuretogoonthesamewayatCastleRackrent;
butwhenIcametoinquire，Ilearnedthatherfatherwassomadwithherforrunningoff，afterhislockingherupandforbiddinghertothinkanymoreofSirCondy，thathewouldnotgiveherafarthing;anditwasluckyforhershehadafewthousandsofherown，whichhadbeenlefttoherbyagoodgrandmother，andthesewereveryconvenienttobeginwith。Mymasterandmyladysetoutingreatstyle;theyhadthefinestcoachandchariot，andhorsesandliveries，andcutthegreatestdashinthecounty，returningtheirweddingvisits;anditwasimmediatelyreportedthatherfatherhadundertakentopayallmymaster’sdebts，andofcourseallhistradesmengavehimanewcredit，andeverythingwentonsmacksmooth，andIcouldnotbutadmiremylady’sspirit，andwasproudtoseeCastleRackrentagaininallitsglory。Myladyhadafinetasteforbuilding，andfurniture，andplayhouses，andsheturnedeverythingtopsy-turvy，andmadethebarrack-roomintoatheatre，asshecalledit，andshewentonasifshehadamintofmoneyatherelbow;andtobesureIthoughtsheknewbest，especiallyasSirCondysaidnothingtoitonewayortheother。Allheasked——Godblesshim！——wastoliveinpeaceandquietness，andhavehisbottleorhiswhisky-punchatnighttohimself。Nowthiswaslittleenough，tobesure，foranygentleman;butmyladycouldn’tabidethesmellofthewhisky-
punch。
’Mydear，’sayshe，’youlikeditwellenoughbeforeweweremarried，andwhynotnow？’
’Mydear，’saidshe，’Ineversmeltit，orIassureyouIshouldneverhaveprevaileduponmyselftomarryyou。’
’Mydear，Iamsorryyoudidnotsmellit，butwecan’thelpthatnow，’returnedmymaster，withoutputtinghimselfinapassion，orgoingoutofhisway，butjustfairandeasyhelpedhimselftoanotherglass，anddrankitofftohergoodhealth。
Allthisthebutlertoldme，whowasgoingbackwardsandforwardsunnoticedwiththejug，andhotwater，andsugar，andallhethoughtwanting。Uponmymaster’sswallowingthelastglassofwhisky-punchmyladyburstintotears，callinghimanungrateful，base，barbarouswretch;andwentoffintoafitofhysterics，asIthinkMrs。Janecalledit，andmypoormasterwasgreatlyfrightened，thisbeingthefirstthingofthekindhehadseen;
andhefellstraightonhiskneesbeforeher，and，likeagood-
heartedcraturashewas，orderedthewhisky-punchoutoftheroom，andbid’emthrowopenallthewindows，andcursedhimself：
andthenmyladycametoherselfagain，andwhenshesawhimkneelingthere，bidhimgetup，andnotforswearhimselfanymore，forthatshewassurehedidnotloveher，andneverhad。
